Who's an Expert on Free Republic? (Vanity)

12/11/2022 | By Laz A. Mataz

[mware]

...but are you an English man?

[mware]

I hear from some that giraffes are very selfish.

[blueunicorn6]

I can make toast.

Most of the time I don’t burn it.

[Fireone]

I’m an expert anonymous source, from an undisclosed location.

[MayflowerMadam]

In high school, I could play “Jesus Loves Me” on a blade of grass between my thumbs. Probably still could.

[SuperLuminal]

I am an expert on retirement...
Been retired since 1986 and am still retired...
Although, these days, it is mostly about being tired, not retired...

[wyokostur]

Expert painter of paintings painted outside...plein air paintings.

Also I’m an expert drywall finisher, thanks to my Step-Dad teaching me the trade waaay back in high school.

Selling more art means less drywalling ;)

[PieroC]

I used to know a little bit about many things...
As time went by I knew less and less about more and more...
Now I know nothing about everything.

[Triple]

I’m an expert at spotting a post that should be ridiculed.

[Joe 6-pack]

"Selling more art means less drywalling ;)"

Do frescoes and kill two birds with one stone.

[ought-six]

“I know ten times as much as someone who doesn’t know nothing.”

Well, mathematically that means you know nothing.

10 x 0 = 0.

[Clay Moore]

“Catfish, older Johnson and Evinrude motors, problem solver, goat roping, feud starter and all around $hit disturber.”

I’m an expert at getting goats to scream.

https://youtu.be/nlYlNF30bVg

[lowbridge]

[roving]

Electroplating. Knot tying, helming ships, how to hit waves just right so everyone out on deck gets wet.

[usconservative]

Nossir. You are an expert at telling me how very wrong I am, about everything. 😊

You're wrong. I never do that.

[LilFarmer]

I am a Linguist, but it doesn’t help a lot with politics, other than I can decode liberal lies pretty quickly, lol

[IncPen]

Some of us wouldn’t need a ladder to get a giraffe pregnant, if you know what I mean.

[FtrPilot]

I am an expert at poking holes in paper at 600 yards. Here's a sample target:

[Leep]

You have to admit that’s a lot of nothing.

PS Thanks for the set up.😎

[Tymesup]

I was at the San Diego Zoo one day when a giraffe was born. Mom was trying to get him to come out of the shed where he was born, but he was too shy. Apparently, the mom drops them while standing, the fall wakes them up.

IIRC, there was a mystery story that was solved when a criminal claimed that a giraffe cried out. They are generally mute, although they may hum.

What do you when a rhinoceros has three balls? Walk him, pitch to the giraffe.

Giraffes have seven bones in their neck. Same as humans.

Males fight each other by swinging their necks. Lions will occasionally go after giraffes. An elephant’s trunk can reach as high as a giraffe.