Posted on 03/11/2022 8:57:03 AM PST by xp38
We recently spoke to Kamala Harris, and she agreed to explain complex concepts to our readers. Now, you can learn about everything from Bitcoin to Batman in terms even you can understand. Thanks, Kam—
KAMALA: I'm SPEAKING.
Oh. Sorry, Madame Vice President. Anyway, here are her explanations:
Water: Water is wet. It is not dry. We call water from the sky "rain". You can drink it.
Traffic lights: Green means go. Red means stop. Yellow is kind of a gray area. The skinny man in the light pole changes the signal. He is probably racist.
Speaking: I'm speaking. Okay, I'm speaking. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm speaking.
Interstellar: The man goes to space. He flies in a black hole. He cries. And there was time travel or something?
Gravity: Things fall down, not up. The earth pulls things down, including black people. Earth is racist.
Bitcoin: It is money. But it is not real. It is in the clouds I think. Basically, it's magic.
Refugees: Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [descends into bone-chilling cackle]
Batman: He is 100% bat. He is also 100% man. He is the Batman. This is called the hypobatic union. Batman starts with a "B".
NFTs: They are pictures. You buy them with magic money. You can right-click and download them but that is theft and I will throw you in jail. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Neurotransmitters: An excitatory transmitter promotes the generation of an electrical signal called an action potential in the receiving neuron, while an inhibitory transmitter prevents it. Whether a neurotransmitter is excitatory or inhibitory depends on the receptor it binds to. Neurotransmitters are racist.
Wordle: The green is good. The yellow is sort of good. The dark squares are bad. Which is racist.
Thanks, Kamala! We've learned so much. Keep following The Babylon Bee for more editions of Kamala Exp—
KAMALA: I. AM. SPEAKING.
How did you even get in here?
Seem to remember something about the left and Trump needed to be looked at by a psychiatrist?
Her version of Scrabble contains only 2 letters: “H” and “A”
Aaaah? Aha . Hahaha!
Signal green isn't green.
Signal yellow isn't yellow.
Signal red isn't red.
There are very good reasons for this.
Kamala, La Cama, The Mattress.
Harris needs to retake the Senate’s “How to look like you are credibly answering any question you are too stupid to understand by tossing a word salad” class.
Outstanding work from the Babylon Bee. Doing satire on Kamala is not an easy task.
LOL!
I can confirm this. Very strange system.
Lordy how I love the Bee
she reminds me of a used teabag
p
Lol!
Yellow is the stomp color; gas or brake is user’s discretion.
LOL.
My apologies to the office of the Vice President.
5.56mm
Poor Bee, just struggling to keep up with reality.
A child was once asked about the lights. She said green means go, and red means stop. She was asked about yellow. She said yellow means mom stops, and dad speeds up.
“A little off topic but I thought yellow meant haul ass.”
If the light turns red while I am half way through the intersection the light is “dark orange”.
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