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Dave Barry’s Year in Review: Wait, wasn’t 2021 supposed to be better than 2020?
Miami Herald ^ | December 26, 2021 | Dave Barry

Posted on 12/27/2021 2:39:48 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia

Is there anything positive we can say about 2021? Yes. We can say that it was marginally better than 2020. Granted, this is not high praise. It’s like saying that somebody is marginally nicer than Hitler. But it’s something.

What was better about 2021? For one thing, people finally emerged from their isolated pandemic cocoons and started connecting with others. Granted, the vast majority of the people who connected with us this year wanted to discuss our car’s extended warranty. But still.

Another improvement was that most stores got rid of those one-way anti-COVID arrows on the floor. Remember those, from 2020? You’d be halfway down a supermarket aisle, and you’d realize that you’d gone past the Cheez-Its, but you couldn’t turn around and go back because you’d be going AGAINST THE ARROWS, which meant YOU WOULD GET COVID.

Ha ha! Was that stupid, or what? Fortunately in 2021, we followed the Science, which decided that the coronavirus does not observe floor arrows. On the other hand, the Science could not make up its mind about masks, especially in restaurants. Should everybody in the restaurant wear them? Should only the staff wear them? Should people who are standing up wear them, but not people who are sitting down, which would seem to suggest that the virus can also enter our bodies via our butts? We still don’t know, and we can’t wait to find out what the Science will come up with for us next.

(Excerpt) Read more at miamiherald.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 2021; davebarry
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Thanks. I still like him

Here is another excerpt (the first chunk of May)

..the CDC further relaxes its COVID-19 guidelines in response to new scientific data showing that a lot of people have stopped paying attention to CDC guidelines. At this point these are the known facts about the pandemic in America:

— Many Americans have been vaccinated but continue to act as though they have not.

— Many other Americans have not been vaccinated but act as though they have.

— Many of those who got vaccinated hate Donald Trump, who considers the vaccines to be one of his greatest achievements.

— Many who refuse to get vaccinated love Donald Trump.

What do these facts tell us? They tell us that we, as a nation, are insane. But we knew that.


21 posted on 12/27/2021 3:48:29 PM PST by Hieronymus
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Barry has gone over to the dark side.


22 posted on 12/27/2021 3:53:54 PM PST by Mad Dawg (Sta, si cum canibus magnis currere non potes, in portico. )
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To: Mad Dawg

Barry is generally more of a libertarian than anything else.

An excerpt from December:

In federal-budget news, congressional leaders, facing what we are required, by the rules of professional journalism, to describe as a Looming Deadline, work feverishly to prevent an unprecedented partial shutdown of the government for the 27th or 28th time. Finally they hammer out a deal under which the government will be temporarily funded via a loan from an individual named Vinny, to be repaid in cash by Feb. 18 or else Vinny takes legal possession of the nuclear aircraft carrier of his choice.

No, that would be insane. Although not as insane as the way we actually fund the federal government.


23 posted on 12/27/2021 4:02:27 PM PST by Hieronymus
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Move past the ritual nonsense on Trump, and it’s actually very funny and accurate.


24 posted on 12/27/2021 4:03:45 PM PST by livius
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To: SamAdams76

Like most of them, he is a coward and afraid of the mob.


25 posted on 12/27/2021 4:10:22 PM PST by Pining_4_TX (The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. H.L. Mencken)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Agreed. I used to love Dave Barry, but I didn’t even read it all. He’s in the tank for globalists and the destruction of the U.S. Bye bye Dave.


26 posted on 12/27/2021 4:21:26 PM PST by gspurlock (http://www.backyardfence.wordpress.com)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

bump


27 posted on 12/27/2021 6:57:32 PM PST by Albion Wilde (Freedom is a road seldom traveled by the multitude. --Frederick Douglass)
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To: ken in texas

It was.

The had to crackdown on camel enhancements in order to rig THAT competition in Kamala’s favor... TOO! 🤣


28 posted on 12/28/2021 5:35:30 AM PST by SMARTY (Republics decline into democracies & democracies degenerate into despotisms. Aristotle)
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To: rllngrk33

2020
2020, Won
2020, Too

That’s how I’m thinking it’ll go.

In other words, you ain’t seen nothing yet!


29 posted on 12/28/2021 8:13:37 AM PST by ro_dreaming ("We seem to have gone from 'We the people' to 'Me, the president' in a scant 8 months." - Me)
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