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To: Qiviut

Re: Our Critter Control issues...

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since...


44 posted on 05/15/2021 8:39:23 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

LOL!


51 posted on 05/15/2021 9:20:34 AM PDT by waterhill (Homegrown Tomatoes~Guy Clark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TWwyhCVBDg)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just had to print that out to share with Hubby and others.


52 posted on 05/15/2021 10:12:28 AM PDT by greeneyes ( Moderation In Pursuit of Justice is NO Virtue--LET FREEDOM RING)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

LOL x 10!! I’m passing this on .... :-)


64 posted on 05/15/2021 12:26:05 PM PDT by Qiviut (2020 Election steal result: We are beginning our "40 years of wandering in the Wilderness".)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

I finally read your post, and it’s wonderful! Thanks for the great big smile!


79 posted on 05/15/2021 7:27:32 PM PDT by FamiliarFace
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Just emailed your Critter Problem post to a few people. Will let you know how many cancellations occurred.


83 posted on 05/16/2021 3:57:36 AM PDT by Silentgypsy (Call an addiction hotline and say you're hooked on phonics.)
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