Posted on 01/23/2021 5:14:47 AM PST by sodpoodle
Subject: On the 8th Day God created Seniors
God's Plan for Aging.
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God
decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find, as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others; I need to go to the bathroom.
That was cute, thanks.
Thanks God. I still love you.
Love it !!!
Fantastic! :)
:)
I cringe when I hear that old moniker, ‘age is just a number’. Well duh....
My 65 year old self is not my 35 y/o self - well kept or not.
to receive more of God’s blessings, praise God and thank Him
That was great!!
Thanks for posting
I have no idea what, a pinched nerve maybe, but the pain is excruciating until I get to sit or prone position I don't plan on disturbing for a while
I'll give it another day or two before I panic
But panic is next on the list
Sorry to hear about your back. The first time mine did that it was a herniated disc (had an MRI). Now when my back goes out I use ice packs and heating pads,aspirin. Usually better in about 4 days. Hope you feel better soon.
Well, I assure you that I can certainly tell #6 apart.
Problem is, I can’t remember if I was hungry or h*rny.
Bookmark
I DID realize that I had, during all the crazy of post election BS, neglected to take a couple of OTC Meds I've been able to function relatively pain free.
Generic Naproxene Sodium and Ibuprofin (I already know ... kidneys an' all 'at) ... they work.
I remembered all this this morning and I usually take a 12 hr dose once a day .... I'll wait until bedtime and safely(?) do another 12 hr bit.
I've had the MRI and I have "moderate" (whatever THAT is) arthritis in my lower back so ...
I appreciate your reply ... I should invest in an ice pack of some sort
Perfect entry for this morning.
Thanks!
Ice packs cost a fortune. I fill up two of those 16oz water bottles with tap and freeze them. Use those for an ice pack. Numbs the pain and fights inflammation. A little uncomfortable to use ice in the winter. But it sure helps with my aches and pains. Use them for migraines too. Hope you feel better!
I judged "old age" differently...
When (22 years ago) I was 65, I looked back over 45-years years of sex and 45-years, on & off, of bodybuilding and voted bodybuilding into first place...
At 78 I crossed them both off the list, but at least I had a young wife...
Now, at 87, the wife turns 82 next Monday and it is too late to find a younger replacement...
OTOH, when we got married in 1960, some of my buddies called me a "cradle robber"... Best thing I ever did...
My 65 year old self is not my 35 y/o self - well kept or not.
**********************
Oh do I ever hear that, loud and clear!
Each additional DAY past 65 brings more aches and pains, mysterious twinges, irrational bodily functions and the whole lineup of mental oddities.
I used to laugh at the saying that “Youth is wasted on the young” but now it makes sense.
Thanks for the (clean) laughs!
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