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email from friend | 12/01/2020 | unknown

Posted on 12/01/2020 8:17:23 AM PST by sodpoodle

Edited on 12/01/2020 8:19:27 AM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]

As I left the hardware store the other day, I was fumbling for my car keys and could not find them.

They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.

She's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right.

The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location,

confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my wife:

I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen.

There was a moment of silence.

I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice. "Are you kidding me?" she barked,

"I dropped you off!"

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me then".

She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your **** car!"

"Welcome to the Golden Years"

MY DOCTOR ASKED IF ANYONE IN MY FAMILY WAS SUFFERING FROM MENTAL ILLNESS.

I SAID; "NO, WE ALL SEEM TO ENJOY IT".


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: true
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God bless
1 posted on 12/01/2020 8:17:23 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

Oh mercy, I needed a good laugh!!!!!!!
THANKS!


2 posted on 12/01/2020 8:18:54 AM PST by Guenevere (No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you(Isaiah)
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To: sodpoodle

Ok that made me LOL


3 posted on 12/01/2020 8:19:26 AM PST by silverleaf (Age Takes a Toll: Please Have Exact Change.)
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To: sodpoodle

Loved it!!!
Thanks


4 posted on 12/01/2020 8:19:56 AM PST by RWGinger (Does anyone else really )
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To: sodpoodle

Now THAT’S a good one. I wouldn’t be surprised if that has actually happened.


5 posted on 12/01/2020 8:21:27 AM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, demonicRATS would have no standards at all.)
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To: sodpoodle

I forgot what the topic was about?


6 posted on 12/01/2020 8:22:15 AM PST by Leep (Save America. Lock down Joe Biden!)
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To: sodpoodle

LOL.... Good One..

Yep memory becomes a lost item for humans as they age it seems.
Heck I can’t remember where I put something just a few minutes ago.
Then I spend some time looking for it. But it gives me something to do.


7 posted on 12/01/2020 8:22:28 AM PST by deport
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To: sodpoodle

Reminds me of:
Comedian Henny Youngman’s - “Take My Wife. Please.”


8 posted on 12/01/2020 8:24:25 AM PST by antidemoncrat (Biden's )
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To: Leep

That’s the best part about getting old. In a couple of days I can read it again and spew my coffee all over my computer screen again as if I never read it in the first place.


9 posted on 12/01/2020 8:24:26 AM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, demonicRATS would have no standards at all.)
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To: sodpoodle

I was in FL recently and went to an open-air restaurant for dinner. It was great to have a meal out. On the way back to the car, I couldn’t find my keys. I went back into the restaurant, told them I may have dropped my car keys, and several of us retraced my steps.

Nada..

I finally went back to where I parked the car just to make sure it wasn’t stolen. It was sitting there, still running after about an hour, with the doors unlocked.


10 posted on 12/01/2020 8:24:57 AM PST by econjack
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To: sodpoodle

A old guy is sitting at a bar. A hooker sits down next to him, and says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The old guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar. He says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”


11 posted on 12/01/2020 8:27:41 AM PST by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and needs to be eradicated)
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To: sodpoodle

Supposedly true story about the woman couldn’t find her car at the mall, reported it stolen, got the insurance payout, then got the call from the Sears auto center asking when she was coming by to pick up her car, the oil change having been completed weeks earlier.


12 posted on 12/01/2020 8:28:55 AM PST by Quality_Not_Quantity (Eddie Ate Dynamite. Good Bye Eddie. Who can explain this mystery?)
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To: econjack

It was sitting there, still running after about an hour, with the doors unlocked.


Right after we got our new Honda CRV my wife and I went downtown for dinner. I wasn’t used to the new-to-me push-to-start button. I parked. Switched off the lights, we closed the door and the car started making sounds and flashing lights. We went in had our dinner and came back to the car that was still running. How I wished my wife had done that instead of me.


13 posted on 12/01/2020 8:30:07 AM PST by hanamizu
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To: sodpoodle

Wish my father was still alive so I could send that to him. He would have laughed.


14 posted on 12/01/2020 8:32:37 AM PST by nuconvert ( Warning: Accused of being a radical militarist. Approach with caution.)
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To: sodpoodle

I needed this. . . LOL!


15 posted on 12/01/2020 8:34:37 AM PST by Maudeen (If you were to die in the next few minutes, where will you spend Eternity? Worth thinking about.)
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To: hanamizu

Then there was the old lady that call the police when she got in her care in the parking lot reporting that someone had stole her radio and steering wheel. Officer arrived and called in, “never mind she got in the seat of her car.”


16 posted on 12/01/2020 8:36:33 AM PST by DOC44
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To: sodpoodle

LOL! Thanks


17 posted on 12/01/2020 8:36:36 AM PST by Magnum44 (My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
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To: sodpoodle

Many times a day, I wander into another part of the house and when I get there, I realize that I have no clue why I am there....


18 posted on 12/01/2020 8:36:51 AM PST by Stayfree (Liberalism is an incurable mental disease caused by stupidity and ignorance!)
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To: sodpoodle

Senior freepers means most here


19 posted on 12/01/2020 8:38:32 AM PST by wardaddy (I applaud Jim Robinson for his comments on the Southern Monuments decision ...thank you run the tra)
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To: DOC44

back seat...


20 posted on 12/01/2020 8:40:56 AM PST by DOC44
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