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Ancestry.com Revokes Genealogies Of African Americans Who Don't Support Biden (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | May 22 2020

Posted on 05/22/2020 12:20:02 PM PDT by knighthawk

LEHI, UT—Popular for-profit genealogy company Ancestry.com has revoked the family heritage of any African American who says they would not vote for Joe Biden. The company said they made the changes to reflect prevailing social beliefs about race and culture.

"It used to be if your ancestors were from Africa and your skin was a darker pigment, then you were considered black," said Ancestry spokesperson Sheila Reinold. "Times have changed. What really determines a person's blackness now—beyond genes, DNA, family trees—is Joe Biden. Any other determiner of race is pure malarkey at this point."

A frustrated Ancestry.com customer, Brian Jennings of Log Ridge, Kentucky says he logged in to find his account had been wiped clean and years of ancestral research had been deleted all because he said in a recent Facebook post that he didn't think he could bring himself to vote for "some 80-year old, white, dementia-riddled uncle creepy" for president.

Reinold says that Ancestry is not abandoning customers like Jennings. "We are working with non-black blacks to places them into all-white genealogies free of charge."

Jennings says when he began seeking ancestral matches in his new account, his first match was a guy named Jethro Reginald Tinbucket who owned a cotton farm in West Virginia in the 1800s. After resubmitting his DNA, Jennings says he has come around to the changes receiving a huge amount of new matches to long lost relatives that are still alive today. "I plan to fly out to Colorado Springs to meet my real mom next month," Jennings said. "Her name is Belinda and she didn't blow her top when she found out I like Ben Shapiro. Thanks, Ancestry."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biden; blexit; walkaway
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To: xp38

No slip. Everyone should have a list for reading.


21 posted on 05/22/2020 2:00:29 PM PDT by CARTOUCHE (Quarantine the sick and free the rest of us from this media inspired bondage.)
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To: CARTOUCHE

Lust for reading and a phone that won’t change my words around.


22 posted on 05/22/2020 2:01:50 PM PDT by CARTOUCHE (Quarantine the sick and free the rest of us from this media inspired bondage.)
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To: CARTOUCHE

got it.....carry on


23 posted on 05/22/2020 2:06:41 PM PDT by xp38
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To: rlmorel
I am sure they would (and occasionally do) skewer Republicans,

They do and when they do they generally deserve it.

Republican Aides Hastily Scribble 'Trumpcare' Over 'Obamacare' On New GOP Health Bill

24 posted on 05/22/2020 2:09:44 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Leave it to me to be holdin' the matches when the fire truck shows up & there's nobody else to blame)
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To: Interesting Times

” “some 80-year old, white, dementia-riddled uncle creepy” for president. “

I am so stealing that


25 posted on 05/22/2020 2:13:58 PM PDT by nomorelurker
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To: Grampa Dave

That still makes you more authentic than Elizabeth Warren.


26 posted on 05/22/2020 4:57:02 PM PDT by Auntie Dem (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Terrorist lovers gotta go!)
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To: Auntie Dem

That still makes you more authentic than Elizabeth Warren.

BOL! Yes and no.

Supposedly, I have over 100 documented Cherokees by birth certificates, weddings, censuses and other paper documentation via Ancestry.com.

Yet, I have 0% Cherokee or any other Indian DNA. These documentations are in the 4th and 5th generations of my family. They are on my mother’s side, with zero family legends/lore of any Indian ancestors/Blood.

The family lore of Cherokee ancestors came from my Dad’s side of our family. There is so far zero documentation nor DNA. Some of the old family photos have some very Indian looking women ancestors.

So Lizzies very low Cherokee DNA beats mine.


27 posted on 05/22/2020 5:52:26 PM PDT by Grampa Dave ( The CHICOM/PRCNN, controllers of America's Fake news media, CDCNN, WHO, are the Deep Staters!))
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To: knighthawk

I almost believed the headline until I saw who published it. Nice work BB!


28 posted on 05/22/2020 7:32:28 PM PDT by ducttape45 ("Righteousness exalteth a nation; but sin is a reproach to any people." Proverbs 14:34)
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