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Lemonade Turns To Blood At Chick-Fil-A Locations Across Country (Satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/20/2019

Posted on 11/21/2019 9:12:22 AM PST by Gamecock

After Chick-fil-A caved to the LGBTQ lobby and agreed to stop donating money to certain Christian organizations, the lemonade at various Chick-fil-A locations immediately began turning into blood.

"Uh, boss, you'd better come see this!" cried one employee at an Albany location. "I just squeezed the lemons like normal---I swear!"

One Chick-fil-A location in Toledo was swarmed with frogs and locusts, while the judgment of darkness fell on other restaurants throughout California, though that may just have been a regular power outage.

Restaurant representatives quickly spun the news and said the beverage is their new Blood-Orange Lemonade that's "rich in iron."

"There's no problem here," said a nervous CFA spokesperson. "Liquid turning to blood is always a sign of God's favor throughout the Bible. In fact, it means our lemonade has that extra-special blessing from on high. It's rich in iron and good for your immune system since we don't know what's in there and it will probably strengthen you up if it doesn't kill you."

A booming voice from the heavens reportedly told Chick-fil-A to "let my Christian organizations go."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/21/2019 9:12:22 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock

LOL; good one!


2 posted on 11/21/2019 9:25:53 AM PST by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: Gamecock

Chicken in the hands of an angry God.


3 posted on 11/21/2019 10:09:05 AM PST by Gman
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To: Gamecock

It’s great to see another organization go homo. It lets the homos know that they’ll get what they want if they whine loud enough and long enough. Lame move, Chik-Fil-A.


4 posted on 11/21/2019 10:22:49 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity (Liberalism is a social disease.)
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To: Gamecock

The sodomites will never get appeased, Chic-Betray! Sorry . . . too late. I’m going elsewhere!


5 posted on 11/21/2019 10:28:17 AM PST by laweeks
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To: Gamecock

6 posted on 11/21/2019 11:02:19 AM PST by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
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To: laweeks

I’m running out of places to go.

A few local places seem to be it.


7 posted on 11/21/2019 11:15:45 AM PST by wally_bert (Your methods were a little incomplete, you too for that matter.)
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To: wally_bert
I’m running out of places to go.

You can get better food from your own kitchen if you're willing to make the effort.

8 posted on 11/21/2019 12:39:46 PM PST by rllngrk33 (Time for all patriotic Americans to boycott liberals and all SJW/PC bullsh*t.)
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To: rllngrk33

I do some of that.

Very basic but at least edible.


9 posted on 11/21/2019 12:50:45 PM PST by wally_bert (Your methods were a little incomplete, you too for that matter.)
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