Posted on 05/09/2019 10:41:49 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Rule 9.k.34 - If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.
Rule 1.a.5 - A ball sliced or hooked into the Rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which grounds keepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 - A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.B.3 - There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7 - If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5. - Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.
Rule 6.a.9 - There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.G.15 - There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.
Rule 8.k.9 - Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy.
Golf is...above all...a game of integrity.
The above should help you play your best in 2019.
How do you grade killing a goose with your tee shot?
Hit a scorcher tee shot in Vegas and killed a goose instantly 50 yards from the tee.
Stroke not counted or free lunch?
I haven’t read it before and it’s hilarious. Thank you
I sent this to my friend who turned 62 today.
The biggest laugh today = thank you for the contribution;)))) (A hole in one;)
Neither. Score it as a birdie.
May have seen this before. AND it’s still a hoot.
PROPOSED ADDENDUM: 8.k.9(a)
However, since golf scorecard seldom have sufficient space to allow accounting for half-strokes, the senior player may round up the half-stroke subtraction to a full stroke per hole in such circumstances.
The scorecard makers should have anticipated the difficulty and the player should not be penalized for having to read - or write - small print. Maintaining an accurate scorecard is imperative to the integrity of the game.
ding ding We have a winner
I’ve always though $3-5 was more than enough penalty for losing a ball.
OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh, BURN !
I’m retired. I play golf three times a week with old guys for a little money.
These rules are not satirical. Gotta watch them like a hawk.
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