I'm sad to hear of your experiences. I can only surmise that you haven't known all that many black people in your adult life, and of those you have known, most were the ignorant sort.
There's good and bad in every sub-group of humanity. Most cannot be pigeon-holed into any one stereotype. You may never meet them, but there are millions of blacks in this country who don't hate you because of your race.
The numbers say there should be at least 1.2 million blacks that want nothing to do with the racism being shown lately. I wish I could have met at least one of them.