Posted on 08/17/2017 9:44:34 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Q: I’m a 50-year-old guy who’s been divorced for about a year. I’m beginning to date again, but I’m uncertain who pays for what. A friend tells me that he always pays for the first date when he goes out to dinner with someone new. But after that, he splits the check 50/50, unless there’s a special reason not to, like it’s her birthday. This sounds reasonable to me. But what should I do if, on the second date, the woman doesn’t reach for her wallet as I reach for mine? My friend says he just tells his date, “It looks like your share’s about $X” and hands her the bill. I’m not sure I’m that brave.
A: We once heard a female comic say: “Of course, I’m a feminist. Not a buy-my-own-drinks feminist, but still a feminist.” Our point is, you’re right to be concerned that some of the women you date may be slow to reach for their wallets. But fear not. You’ll find your own voice for proposing to split the dinner tab as the dates — and the bills — start to pile up. Just to be clear that there is nothing wrong with asking a woman to pay for her share of dinner. The problem with your friend’s “50/50 after the first date” rule is that one size does not fit all. Au contraire.
Even by the second meal out, you’ll probably have a more nuanced financial relationship with a new or prospective romantic partner than you do with, say, a friend at work. So instead of worrying too much about when and how to ask your date to get out her credit card, spend more time considering how you’ll want to handle the situation if you begin seeing someone regularly who has significantly
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*** have no idea what ‘a Shoney’s’ is. ***
Kinda like Denny’s. They do have a nice breakfast buffet.
I can eat a lot of bacon at that buffet. I haven’t seen a Shoney’s in TX.
So what are you bringing to the table? No pun intended. She better be off the charts charming, under 30 and a 10+ or the date is over BEFORE the waiter returns to take the drink order - and I hope she has cab fare. I'm not wasting a minute otherwise. Life is short.
Grow a pair
That's good because people don't really date anymore - especially men over 50. It's much easier to just make an arrangement that suits the two of you and you keep your credit card numbers and checking account numbers private -
I was reading some accounts from guys about half my age on another site about their practice of ‘dating’, hmmm ... working girls.
A common thread seemed to be that they weren’t just paying for sex, but so they could tell her when to leave. Now that’s some sordid stuff.
When I was that age, you just didn’t do things like that.
Thank you, good to know there a still gentlemen roaming around
My husband had a novel way of dating, we went to cheap places in the beginning and more expensive places as we got more serious. I guess it was his way of finding out up front if I was interested in a pricey date or him.
I didn’t even think about it at the time it was happening, just enjoyed spending time with him and didn’t care where we went.
I guess his way the women like you had that experience with were eliminated right off the bat without it costing so much.
I didn’t know women like that existed until my brother brought one on a double date with us one time. He told her where we were going when he asked her out- it was a well known (in that area) cowboy steak house, with a rodeo arena, bar with country music and dancing. It was not a cheap place to go for dinner but definitely country. My brother’s date wore silk slacks, then complained right after she sat down that the wooden seats were damaging her pants. That was only the first of a long line of complaints. Nothing there suited that woman, nothing. She didn’t even attempt conversation with any of us...just an endless stream of complaints. Even though she knew where they were going and still went she was convinced the place was far beneath her. I think she agreed to go on a date with my brother only because he was (still is) a very successful businessman. Why she would go and then complain all night I never have figured out. We still tease him about her craziness.
Was she hot or was she like we used to say working the oil fields on the res in Montana?
- "if she ain't 280, she ain't a lady"
Why?
There is a word for paying for companionship.
Then one evening we went out for a light snack in a coffee shop. The cost for both of us was about $10. She grabbed that check, paid it, and undertipped. That was her version of paying. She was quite pleased with herself. She didn't say "Now we're even!" but that was clearly how she felt.
That's not why we broke up, but it didn't help the relationship.
Two words: The Philippines.
He could pay with her credit card.
Many women actually fake a reach for a credit card so that they can pretend to be all independent.
That transaction has been labeled the oldest profession.
A man should always pay for his date’s dinner. It’s the least you can do to show you care for her welfare.
I really wasn’t sure what to do if I started dating. On the one hand, since I am not looking for marriage or to be supported, I could be magnanimous and pay sometimes. But on the other hand, I don’t want a good traditional guy to be insulted, and I don’t want to even date someone who might be looking for a sugar mama to pay for him. I’d want us both to be financially independent.
On my first date with my wife, we were driving along and she asked me where we were going.
I told her I had a couple flashlights and .22s in the trunk, that after we got burgers we would go to the landfill and shoot some rats.
I had no such plans, but she just nodded her head so we had a good meal instead at a Chinese restaurant.
Damn dude, I bet an elderly comic could really rock that plan... ARF!
Argue about it? That’s about when you say “enjoy the cats, and lonliness...”
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