Posted on 08/17/2017 9:44:34 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Q: I’m a 50-year-old guy who’s been divorced for about a year. I’m beginning to date again, but I’m uncertain who pays for what. A friend tells me that he always pays for the first date when he goes out to dinner with someone new. But after that, he splits the check 50/50, unless there’s a special reason not to, like it’s her birthday. This sounds reasonable to me. But what should I do if, on the second date, the woman doesn’t reach for her wallet as I reach for mine? My friend says he just tells his date, “It looks like your share’s about $X” and hands her the bill. I’m not sure I’m that brave.
A: We once heard a female comic say: “Of course, I’m a feminist. Not a buy-my-own-drinks feminist, but still a feminist.” Our point is, you’re right to be concerned that some of the women you date may be slow to reach for their wallets. But fear not. You’ll find your own voice for proposing to split the dinner tab as the dates — and the bills — start to pile up. Just to be clear that there is nothing wrong with asking a woman to pay for her share of dinner. The problem with your friend’s “50/50 after the first date” rule is that one size does not fit all. Au contraire.
Even by the second meal out, you’ll probably have a more nuanced financial relationship with a new or prospective romantic partner than you do with, say, a friend at work. So instead of worrying too much about when and how to ask your date to get out her credit card, spend more time considering how you’ll want to handle the situation if you begin seeing someone regularly who has significantly
(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...
“who pays for what”
C’mon, man. You are going to pay. Sooner or later, one way or another, she will collect.
Might as well get it out of the way up front.
If she’s reaching for her purse when the check comes, you’re being friend zoned.
Which is much cheaper in the long run...
Of course you reach for the check and then IF she happens to say something like, "I got this" or "what's my portion?", you say, "No, no, I got this. You can get the next one."
If there should happen to be a second date, you just do the same thing.
You, being the male, buy the meal and drinks, certainly, if you want a 2nd date.
Sorry, its the way it works, especially when you are dating middle-aged women who have been around the block already. As the article says - Feminism? Its all bullshyte at that point
Sorry, its just reality, proven by gobs of research and observation on the post-divorce dating scene
A snowflake who learned nothing from his first wife, nothing.
The guy pays. Because she has the p***y.
AAAGGHHHH ><
How do you get to 50 and still ask DUMB !@# questions like this?
I take it back. We don’t just need adults to stand up and say “NO”. We also need adults to stand up and say “FIND YOUR BALLS”.
however, if you decide to start dating anyway, at least have the balls to acknowledge that you don't want to pay for her and stop dating her....
what a wimpy society...
bad enough we're among communists now we get the wimps afraid to pay for dates...
Or as one guy who fought the wars put it, just go up to a strange woman in a bar, buy her a house and walk away. You’ve saved a lot of time and fuss and you’re done.
Years ago I was dating a pretty girl who was part American Indian but she was full into Indian culture. After our first date to Outback where I paid I next asked her to a place that was a little cheaper and she was MAD. I was going to pay the whole ticket of course but found out Shoney’s was just beneath her. So the second date didn’t happen. I think I dodged a bullet on that one. She could have just recommended another place instead of acting like she had been insulted.
Its only money, money just gives you options. You can't die and take it with you.
She's either worth or she's not.
I’ am sure that I have been out with hundreds of women and I don’t believe I’ve had a woman offer to pay anything other than maybe once or twice. I haven’t really wanted them to. It is just the way it is.
You are a man. You pay. if that offends her, you don’t need her. She will be nothing but a pain in the ass. If you are putting forth your talent as a gigolo then things are different.
I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about dating in today’s world...
Feminism dies when the check comes, its reborn with a vengeance when the lawyers arrive...
Simple: get her pregnant so she gets welfare and can afford to buy you drinks, or anything else you want.
Plus she’ll have lots of money to make herself look nice.
(Sarcasm... or is it?)
Did she have a dream-catcher hanging from her rear-view mirror?
dude, the answer is you just invite her straight to your hot bachelor pad for a home cooked meal......
It’s been a loooooong time since I was dating, but it seems to me the guy should pay, at least during the early phase. After a while if the relationship grows then you can be a little more casual about it.
And if money’s tight, why not invite her over and prepare a GREAT meal for her. It’s a lot cheaper and done right, the food is better. AND . . . she’s in your house.
Don’t forget to serve wine.
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