Posted on 05/11/2017 10:02:05 PM PDT by BJ1
At the end of the day, most men just want a woman who’s nice. “Nice,” to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your husband how his day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating. But wait a minute, you say. Don’t women want the same thing? A man who’s nice? Not exactly. Most women do want a man who’s kind, but that’s not the same as nice. Ask any guy you know, and he’ll likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy. That’s because just as most men are attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted to masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge. So, where are you on the nice scale? If you’re not an inherently nice person, believe me I get it. I think I’m pretty nice, but that isn’t the first word one would think of to describe me. The truth is, I’ve had to exercise my nice muscle. Now Playing Author shares marriage advice for 'alpha females' Never autoplay videos I’ve had to learn how to be be nice. A lot of women think they’re nice because they act nice. But acting nice and being nice are two different things. Being nice means you think of others before you think about yourself. (And yes, there’s such thing as being too nice and putting your needs last; but I’m not talking about that.) It means you’re attune to the needs of others and incorporate those needs into the equation. Most husbands have no desire to lord over their wives....
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
I’m sure you don’t see it, but the irony is that all your bitterness here is just reinforcing what the article says :-)
I got married when I was 17 (1969). He was and is a #2 type.
It was basically a shotgun marriage because I was pregnant at the time. But we were truly in love and no one really believed us because we were so young. Next week we are celebrating our 48th wedding anniversary.
Have those 48 years been easy? Nope!
Was it worth it? Yes and I would do it all again in a heartbeat!!
Through these 48 years, there have been times when I needed to be carried and then others when my husband needed to be carried along although he never took very kindly to my carrying him from time to time. Hmmm, come to think about it, I was pretty obstinate about it when I needed to be carried some times too but, we each sucked it up and did it for each other and our kids sake.
I really believe that our story was successful because we were both brought up with christian beliefs. I don’t think we would have made it otherwise.
Yes. It’s the same in NYC. A cv/resume before the date!
Your joke about women choosing men on the higher floors is funny; but it leaves out the most important values: loyalty, respect and faithfulness. A man can be a #5 and drop-dead gorgeous, but if a lot of other women think so, too, and he takes what is on offer, or if he constantly favors his mother or the kids over his wife, or mocks his wife in public or in private, what good are looks, his good job and helping with the kids? A cheater never really loves anyone but himself.
LOL! It always turns into a woman-bashing thread when someone posts articles like these. My favorites are the guys who have the Thai mail order brides and the guys who want to date beautiful Russian women who they suspect are as nice as their faces.
In MY family, I mow the lawn.
Obviously you don’t look at things from a man’s point of view. The women available to a middle-aged man just subpar. A man wants a pretty woman to have sex with and prefers that she be kind and treat him well. Not only are those women in short supply but the ones available have the added baggage of an ex they have children living at home with them.
I think there are a segment of women who are mostly attracted to the bad boys...the ‘hot crazy’ types that someone mentioned earlier. If you think about it, they seem to be the female version of those men.
Apologies on behalf of my sex that pot-bellied, bald, middle-aged men can only find sub par women. Imperfect world, isn’t it?
Many don’t like James Dobson, but I’m fine with him. I’m pretty sure it was him who defined masculinity this way:
1. A battle to fight.
2. An adventure to live.
3. A beauty to rescue.
I love that definition, and in addition, I’ve got three popular fictional characters who I believe show how to be an American “man”:
John Wayne (his tough, no-nonsense, good-guy characters)
Andy Griffith as Andy Taylor (smart, friendly, and unassuming)
Hugh Beaumont as Ward Cleaver (great Dad, mistakes and all)
And the real man? Jesus. Tough, focused, wise. Did what needed to be done, without variation. Up to, and including giving his life for us.
Not saying I’ve been able to live up to those standards all my life, but I actively try. It ain’t easy, but those are the characteristics my wife of 34 years loves. And she is very nice.
I got married at 19 - shotgun wedding, as well. Due to the examples in my life, I went into it thinking it wouldn’t last two years. Thankfully, I found Christ and that changed my game plan to God’s. Thirty years later we are still working it.
It hasn’t been easy, but anything worthwhile never is. It is a process - of growth, change, and awareness that the bigger picture is bigger than self!
Congratulations on 48! I hope we make it to that number!
When I was 16/17 I decided that the feminist path in life was a lie. The notion that you’re supposed to go to college, run up a massive debt, have a series of meaningless hookup relationships, then find a job where you’ll spend most of your earnings paying off your student loan and then maybe sometime before you turn forty you might get married but then only to a male who is more feminine than you are. Then maybe you’ll try to have ONE child while working until you die because you have bills to pay and you might be helping your child with college.
The feminine male (I refuse to call such vile creatures “men”) is just an accessory to the proper feminist.
I’m due with my seventh child next month and the man who made it possible for me to be the mom I wanted to be would be hated by feminists. He’s everything they hate. They probably hate me, too. He works, I stay at home and raise my children. When he comes home I have dinner on the table and the house is clean. And when he reaches for me I say yes even if I’m not in the mood.
And did I mention that I love my life?
I don’t commute to work.
There’s no sexual harrassment in the workplace for me to deal with.
No student loan to pay off.
No meetings, bosses, stupid rules, evil coworkers, and a steady diet of fast food between meetings.
I wear dresses most of the time. I often skip the shoes.
From my point of view I think the women who do everything they can to avoid this kind of life are INSANE.
No wonder they need medication and therapy all the time!
Of course they do! That’s what happens when you fight your nature is you’re never at peace with yourself and you can never be happy!
Ugh. I could go on and on but I’ll stop here.
- Megan
LOL Perfect!
Well, it is all about them, right? ;)
Amen. It’s when we try to force what is unnatural that chaos occurs. :)
It amazes me how almost universally women think like this. The perceive gruff hard as leadership traits. Well ladies some of the greatest leaders in history were not like that at all. General R. E. Lee being one of them. He was a gentlemen and exhibit none of those qualities. Audie Murphy is another. The greatest quality a man can exhibit is selflessness. The greatest bosses I had the fortune to work for were like that.
There's an interesting theory called the Geek Syndrome that breeding between these highly intelligent "systems thinkers" may be contributing to the epidemic of autism. We don't like to think of mate selection according to high intelligence being a form of inbreeding, but it's possible. This theory does not refute your point.
You have that right - trading resumes is how people greet one another here.
I had gal that I lived with once for almost 2 years and she would do just what you asked, and then morphed into I’ll never take you for granted. We did everything together and enjoyed each other’s company.
Then one thanksgiving we went to visit friends out of town and I was looking at the black Friday sales ads because I wanted a new plasma TV (2006) and right there at the breakfast table in front of our friends she told me that I need to focus on paying my bills and not buying stuff. I was floored. That Christmas I showered her in gifts as I always did and she was ecstatic. Then in January I bought myself my new plasma on my birthday on the way home from work. She was extremely pissed off about it. 5 days later on her birthday I presented her with tickets for our next vacation.
Then on April 15, 2007, a Saturday morning my brother called me up and wanted me to go with him to look at a new Harley he wanted to buy. I had a Harley and my gal had a Victory Vegas. So while waiting for him I started surfing the web looking at stuff for my bike and finally found a new set of pipes that I thought were cool and told her to check them out. She responded that I need to quit buying stuff for my bike and pay off my bills again. I got out of my chair and said F@#! you (the first time I had ever cussed her) and walked out the room telling her that I’m gone. She followed me into the bedroom saying she was sorry and I said I’m not and I proceeded to list all of the vacations and presents and parts for her motorcycle that I had bought for her over the last 2 years and not once did she worry about my bills. Then I showed her my bank statements and that my bills were already paid off.
It took me another 2 months to find an apartment to move into and when she came home on a Sunday afternoon I told her I wasn’t happy, rented an apartment and I move in on Tuesday. I then got up and walked out the door with her bottom jaw still on the floor!
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