Posted on 04/26/2017 6:18:53 AM PDT by BJ1
Fast forward to my 38th birthday. I was still single, and the world of dating had changed significantly in the last eight years. Tinder and Bumble, the dominant dating apps, offered countless options for single men and women, but made the experience of dating entirely impersonal.
Dating amounted to small talk with a stranger, who you had briefly interfaced with online because you each thought the other attractive. The small talk was a prelude to hooking up, and there were no expectations even of a text the next day.
It was brutal. And after trying my hand at it, I was no closer to finding the love of my life or starting a family. If I needed statistics to back me up, I had them. In 2014, marriage was on the decline, as was the fertility rate in the United States.
I had one real option left -- and that was to attempt to get pregnant alone.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
We’re clearly living in the last seconds of this Age of Grace, when mental illness literally infects billions out there.
This lady is just another example of liberal & “modern” dysfunctionality.
Yes, miscarriages are disheartening. You did the right thing.
another lonely, old, bitter, childless woman,,
yikes !
We all know about Down Syndrome and age - you don’t have to get all condescending about it. Mrs. Don-O has explained her history on this thread and it’s quite admirable.
The fact remains that as long as a particular woman can ovulate, she can be impregnated, some right up into their early 50's. And even at age 45, the chances of having a baby with Down's Syndrome, while sharple elevated, are still under 4%. I've seen doctors and others try to guilt older older women into giving up on procreation, and I deplore their unscientific scare tactics. 
>
If women were breeding machines you might be right.
DNA drives the evolution of organisms to reproduce successfully. In humans that has produced a very long period of fertility from 13-50 yrs in many women. The first 10 years of that and the last 10 years are suboptimal for the health of mother & offspring. Suboptimal means nothing without reference to each individual life just as the individual is not tied to making maximum reproduction their goal.
My daughter is turning 23. I certainly hope she waits another 2-3 years before marriage and children. People form their belief in self worth, their sense of purpose and set the scope of their lives in those first post college/post graduate years.
Its a very differently shaped life when you marry out of high school or after starting a career. I believe we are richer as a society by having both.
I am reminded of my brother’s ‘filter’ on women. By age 25, he had a list of a dozen things that women had to pass through, or not be dated. By age 30, the list was up to 18 things. By age 40, it was up to 35 things. I think presently at around 48...it’s near 44 different filter items. He wouldn’t date anyone who is a democrat, odd-religious type, smoker, etc. He’s permanently single.
I worked in a job a couple of years ago where we had six divorced women in the group of 20 people. All six talked of the woes of being 35 years old or older, and the filters that they’d come up with. One wanted a list of debt items or credit references before the first date. One wanted a reference of character from a personal friend of the potential guy. It amazes me in this era....where filters are used now on a regular basis.
I'm a slim guy with a full head of hair and I spend my down time reading Tolstoy and Shakespeare. My ex-wife, while slim and attractive, is, in fact, the Queen of all She-devils.
That is a horrific statement. Perhaps a man whose wife doesn’t want to have sex with him should consider he is at least 1/2 to blame for the situation.
>>>If you read over the posts written by some of the men here, you would think all of them are slim guys with a full head of hair who spend their down time reading Proust and Samuel Johnson. Meanwhile,their ex-wives are all fat she-devils. In fact, I’m sure a lot of these guys are slobs in need of a few kicks to the tires. I stand by my post.<<<
For the sake of argument, let’s suppose most of these guys have more slob than Mr. Perfect, and an ex-wife that is more average than a fat she-devil.
The bitterness that comes from many of the men on FR is getting screwed over by the system. How many guys come home to the words “I’m not in love with you anymore”? Without the man’s consent he’s getting divorced. Then he finds out his wife has turned into his enemy and very often is set to destroy him. If a guy gets amicably divorced he’s lucky. He’ll “just” get off with losing half his assets and paying child support and possibly alimony. If his wife isn’t so kind, and they usually aren’t, he will also get trashed in all ways to everyone. Relationships between the father and children are likely to be destroyed. Now the man is left bereft of wealth, with a significantly lower standard of living and has little or no access to his children.
And women just say to themselves its the man’s fault it didn’t work out. Uh what? I don’t care if the guy wasn’t an awesome husband. If he is plodding along as a workhorse for the family, he never deserves to have the above happen to him. We all make choices and here on FR I think we agree marriage should be a forever thing barring something drastic like an affair. Sadly the most drastic thing many of the guys did here on FR was not “do it” for their wives anymore. Sure many of the times the man was lazy and took his wife for granted. But even then are you going to argue that man deserved to get divorced against his will?
And when a man does a woman wrong, typically she will keep the kids, the house and gets financially supported with child support/alimony. That part seems fair to me as a man, as the husband was the one doing the leaving. But when the consequences are just as harsh when the woman does the wrong thing, well, let me just offer my opinion that is where the bitterness comes from.
The only problem I have with her story is why didn’t she adopt? She spent 30,000 on in vitro fertilization, I can’t imagine that it’s more expensive to adopt a newborn baby.
Yes, it’s best to have both a Mom and a Dad growing up. However, for unadopted kids, it would be far better to have at least one loving parent than being shuffled through the foster home system.
IMO, this should be a lesson to many young women. You think at 25 you don’t want kids and you just want a career. My experience is that the vast majority of women at some point in their lives do want to have kids. If that means sacrificing other things you want (freedom, travel, career, etc..) then that is what you and your husband have to do. I think that’s the big problem with a lot of people now days and not just younger people. People in general don’t know what it means to sacrifice things. They want it all. Society tells us we can have it all. Society lies, sometimes you have to make choices, hard choices.
I think people should marry before they are thirty and start have children before thirty. It’s really best for parents and baby.
LOL! At least you have a sense of humor more than a sense of Bruce J. Friedman “Lonely Guy” loserdum!
I think one of her big problems was she was relying on Tinder and Bumble to find a lasting relationship. Both services are more focused or aligned with the hook-up culture and not with the idea of a long-term, stable, committed relationship.
She mentioned she grew up as a conservative. It seemed she would have been better served looking on sites like conservativematch.com, christianmingle.com, eHarmony.com or other similar sites which have a bias toward building and establishing strong relationships and not just hookups.
My brother was the same way! Married a Hollywood bimbo because she got knocked up, was married for less than 2 years and she took him to the cleaners over and over again. He’s still dating bimbos - hasn’t learned a damn thing.
This thing that pulls freight trains has consequences...
At the end of the article she complains so many of her exes sent her a congratulations message. I really don’t think she had trouble finding boyfriends. She just had trouble making them want to commit to her. She was either bad at choosing guys who wanted to marry or she has some issues that drove them away. But from my read, she had opportunities, yes plural, she just couldn’t get one of these guys to put a ring on it.
That chart is hilarious but flawed.
First, tranny’s are off the chart crazy and need to be above the upper range of the chart and not always on the right axis.
Second, there are no exceptions for good cooking or owning a boat.
Third, hair dye can be combined with putty and paint to skew the legitimacy of the scale.
Lastly, I have known “mousy” girls who were extraordinary and beauties who were uninhabited (not uninhibited, uninhabited!)
I tell my kids, the most important thing is not to date anyone with more psychological issues than themselves. There are people with more issues than National Geographic!
If you think these attacks on Miss Marmelstein reflect well on you think again.
Live & let live. You will not like everything that is said but remember it is not directed at you. Comments are often meant differently than taken and reflect an experience the commenter has had or seen, not you.
This is a sad reflection of our society any way you look at it. Tinder and Bumble are a horrible way to find relationships as both are pretty much booty call sites. That has resulted in women who give it away and men who don’t want to commit. That results in Peter Pan men, and women who hear that clock in the crocodile ticking away. That results in children being born without the benefit of a father to help raise them. Which results in the further downfall of our society.
Again. Sad.
It depends on your definition of "creep".
Many men would like to have sex with an attractive woman, without having to pay the price of having to commit to supporting her for the rest of his life.
Conversely, many women would like to have a man supporting her, without having to pay the price of having to have sex with him or have to actually share a life with him, and have decided they can accomplish this through divorce court, or having the taxpayers pay for her lifestyle.
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