When is it time to get a divorce?

Self

[proud American in Canada]

Hi,

I'm doing this on a tablet, so I'm probably doing it wrong. I was just wondering, want to know it's time to file for divorce.

And I haven't been together for a very long time.

I really feel that he ignores me. Which I guess I think is very understandable.

I just think if we would be be together, and by that I mean have s*x, we would be closer. And happier.

I probably should not have posted this no because I'm tired and it's late and I don't know how much I can answer everybody. But I would like some advice I'm just really sad.

[dp0622]

That was beautiful.

20 years and same here. But took me a long time to realize it.

My bad.

[proud American in Canada]

That is excellent advice...

If he’d get off the computer game! Overlord, I think?! Lol!

[Duchess47]

Praying for you, for wisdom and comfort.

[tinyowl]

Worthless comment.

[proud American in Canada]

Nope... Not in a very long time.

It hurts.

[Tired of Taxes]

JMHO, the only reason to divorce is when your spouse is a danger to you (including cheating, for example, as dangerous behavior).

If one spouse isn’t dangerous in some way, then maybe the two of you just need to learn to reconnect somehow.

[proud American in Canada]

Okay, I understand.

Just asking for marital advice.

No one knows where I live.

[Rembrandt]

The answer to that question came rapidly to me when I asked myself THE question:

DO I WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS PERSON FOR THE NEXT 60 YEARS?

Considering not just looks but everything you have learned about your partner, just ask the question. The timing will take care of itself.

[Gay State Conservative]

Your girlfriends and/or your clergyman (if you have one) are better people to ask than us.

Just my 2 cents' worth....

[Snickering Hound]

[Bodleian_Girl]

I hope everything gets better for you!

“Reach for the hubby, not the Ipad.”

Hugs.

[DannyTN]

• This is not uncommon and it can happen with either sex, husband ignoring wife and wife ignoring husband.
• It is very detrimental to a marriage and it needs to be addressed, if possible.
• Understand there can be many reasons including but not limited to:
  1. Physical performance issues.
  2. Mental performance issues.
  3. Trust issues.
  4. Porn addiction
  5. Opposite sex attraction
  6. History of abuse.

Possible courses of action include:

1. Get him to a men's clinic.
2. Get some samples of viagra or cialis and get him to try them.
3. Make his general doctor aware there is a problem and get him to go in.
4. Go see a counselor, preferably a Christian counselor with psychologist degree.
5. Guys are visual...get some lingerie.
6. Never act upset if he can't perform. Be reassuring and patient. Let him know you'll be there for him.

[Vermont Lt]

You are asking us. Why aren’t you asking him?

[Mercat]

Three people in a marriage, you, the spouse, and God. If its possible, pray together. If that’s not possible, just pray.

[Aliska]

If there wasn't violence in the marriage, or verbal abuse (neglect could be considered abuse), I think I would rather have one with no sex rather than have no mate at all. If your kids can take up the slack if you get sick and need lots of rides to doctors, etc., and do other favors for you, maybe you will think it is worth it.

I hate to see people get divorced, but you will know what's best for you. I will tell you it can get horribly depressing being alone, and the way other people think of you changes, subtly for some, but except for your closest friends, it changes.

It gets kind of personal to say more, but being divorced even from a horrible marriage is still hard. It's worse than becoming widowed.

[narses]

:)

[bigbob]

For me, there came a time when after trying really hard to make it work, it was like flipping a switch. Find someone you can talk to - if not a minister, then a mental health counselor. The right answer for you lies within you. Best of luck.

[Fungi]

Worthless response. Go find some owls. http://www.owlpages.com/owls/species.php?r=1

[Ransomed]

Don’t have any advice beyond saying don’t worry about the posts complaining you posted the thread. In a set up like FR, that only bumps the thread to the top of the page. That only helps you, as more folks will see it who might have some advice or a good thought and prayer. You could fight with them, but realize it really means nothing. They are complaining about stuff on the internet that they could just skip clicking on. This might goad them into providing constant bumping to the top of the page so you can keep getting more advice and support.

Good luck!

Freegards

[boycott]

You need to talk about it with him. If that doesn’t work, talk about it some more.

And stop feeling sorry for yourself.

You and your husband made a vow before God and others that you would stay together until death. I know not all marriages will work out but you should try your best to save your marriage. I know it takes two but you should try. Just my opinion.