Posted on 02/27/2017 10:54:59 PM PST by nickcarraway
Dating is a tricky business at the best of times, but even more so if you have a history of mental illness. Here are some dos and don’ts …
Dating is hard. It’s paved with heartache and unrequited crushes and the blurting out of gabbled nonsense in front of the unimpressed person you like. When I finally found myself in a conversation with someone I liked at work, whose head I had resolutely stared at the back of for a full three months, I answered an innocuous, “So, how’s your day going?” with, “I am awash with existential despair.” She stared, confused and unblinking, back into my face. I then followed it up with a tiny, pathetic, “Woo!” She sat down again. I continued to stare at the back of her head from my desk, in the full knowledge that she would never speak to me again. This isn’t just me, right? This is how it is for everyone. This is what it’s like to date. It’s awkward.
But what is it like when, in addition to your inability to say anything remotely funny or interesting to the person you are into, you have a mental health problem as well? How does that affect the way you interact with them? How does it affect a relationship once you are actually in one? And, more pressingly: how do you even tell someone you are, or have been, ill? At what point during the dating process is it appropriate to bring up mental health?
The pressure of not knowing when or how to reveal your mental health status can be an additional and very valid source of anxiety. If you tell them too soon it can feel like you are setting the stakes too high; but if you leave it too long you
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
I never get that. I am hideous to look at, and very strange. Women run from me.
Then there are the ones stuck in the depressive half nine-tenths of the year with only rare manic or “normal” days.
I’m use to it.
I have gals give me their number out of the blue.
Sometimes I follow up, sometimes I don’t
There a couple Freepers who’ve seen it so, don’t think I’m making it up.
BTW, I’m really digging the “Brave” browser.
You using it?
I was as model a husband as I could possibly be. Did everything that I thought God needed from a husband. And still He let a disease destroy the most precious relationship I had after the one I had with Him. And it impacted THAT relationship too.
I really don't know what to make of a God who hates divorce but allows a physical condition to make it happen. I don't know if I'll ever be allowed to have that kind of happiness. And yes, it does make me somewhat bitter about it.
Keeper
God did not cause your wife’s mental illness. To blame Him is irrational..
You do not mention how long you dated. Surely her problems must have shown up then. You chose to ignore warning signs because you thought you could fix her....always a bad decision for a marriage partner
It wasn’t her who had it. It was me.
LOL! You too?
You have that right. I hired one while he was "normal". About 18 months later he went into a manic phase and became physically dangerous. Cost me a small fortune to fire him and repair the damage to my business.
The really sad part is that the high of the manic phase feels good. They are very resistant to taking the meds.
When they crash, they come back, promising to take their meds, but you know the next time the manic phase starts to kick in, they will be off for another run.
I have done my time on that one -- no more.
Yeah, well, some of us got nuthin.
NUTHIN.
In fact, I’ve pretty much checked out.
I’ve had a discussion with myselves about you and we think you should forgive and forget. We’ll be totally devoted to you. If you take me back, I’ll give you back massages and roses every third Thursday of the month that has a full moon.How can you turn that down?
It’s tough being a lesbian trapped in a mans body.
I can’t imagine it being bi-polar also.
Very attractive, all American blonde gal...but....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rNfZxgkH7k
Future conversation for my little boys: Don’t stick your d- in crazy, son.
The guy in “Grizzly Man” stopped taking his meds because he felt the highs and lows were an important part of living; sadly, his erratic behavior killed himself and a girlfriend (and a couple of grizzly bears as a result of that).
I have a sibling like this, including episodes of voices in their head, usually telling them to ESAD. Late 60s, highly educated professional, second marriage and for over 40 years, it’s been a tossup as to which version of the person one would encounter on any given day.
Exhausting. The manic phase is dizzying and the depression is overwhelming. They also require a private space where, in the midst of a physically ordered home and professional life, they retreat into utter physical chaos, similar to a stereotypical teenager’s room. Their room at home, growing up, was painfully neat and clean. I always thought the *trash room* represented their true emotional landscape.
The first clues they have gone off the lithium are episodic and monumental rages. Depression is heralded by days of sleeping alternating with weepy self pity. Manic stage involves gambling, sex and flights of verbal fantasy. Medicated, they are sober, thoughtful, intelligent and droll.
They’ve become a raging liberal over the years.
Good point. I worked briefly with a guy (short term gig)who quickly wanted to share that he was a medicated bipolar and tell us about his psychiatrist. On his medication, he certainly wasn’t the craziest person in the room, and given the length of the assignment, we didn’t really need to know.
I’ve got the same problem as Vendome... I’ve deliberately downscaled the attractiveness of my appearance to mitigate the issue, but I still have problems in that department. If you exude confidence it’s hard to keep the ladies away no matter what you look like.
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