Posted on 02/27/2017 10:54:59 PM PST by nickcarraway
Dating is a tricky business at the best of times, but even more so if you have a history of mental illness. Here are some dos and don’ts …
Dating is hard. It’s paved with heartache and unrequited crushes and the blurting out of gabbled nonsense in front of the unimpressed person you like. When I finally found myself in a conversation with someone I liked at work, whose head I had resolutely stared at the back of for a full three months, I answered an innocuous, “So, how’s your day going?” with, “I am awash with existential despair.” She stared, confused and unblinking, back into my face. I then followed it up with a tiny, pathetic, “Woo!” She sat down again. I continued to stare at the back of her head from my desk, in the full knowledge that she would never speak to me again. This isn’t just me, right? This is how it is for everyone. This is what it’s like to date. It’s awkward.
But what is it like when, in addition to your inability to say anything remotely funny or interesting to the person you are into, you have a mental health problem as well? How does that affect the way you interact with them? How does it affect a relationship once you are actually in one? And, more pressingly: how do you even tell someone you are, or have been, ill? At what point during the dating process is it appropriate to bring up mental health?
The pressure of not knowing when or how to reveal your mental health status can be an additional and very valid source of anxiety. If you tell them too soon it can feel like you are setting the stakes too high; but if you leave it too long you
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
Many of the high functioning, medication taking, bi-polar people I have known as friends tend to be too honest too soon about their problems. This happens mostly with younger folks.
Some are anxious to see if you’ll still like them after you find out. What most don’t seem to realize, is many folks can already tell something is slightly ‘out of kilter’ on their own, but they like you anyway just as you are.
The fact that they like you can be shown by a friendship that has lasted for a while, a few months, a few years. So long as the ‘out of kilter’ isn’t criminal behavior, many tangents are seen as that person just being eccentric.
This. This is all you need to know.
She’s perseverating and spiraling down in just the excerpt, she’s like Captain Queeg on estrogen. There’s little hope for a lasting relationship other than with another crazy person. Marching around in a giant vagina is practically foreordained.
And then there are all the complications of Emily trying to get a date with other girls. Bipolar AND lesbian is a bad combination.
My situation is far worse. “Oh, I’m a (pause) Trump supporter.”
Until they call you 50 times a day.
A long time ago I briefly dated a guy who was bipolar. I guess I met him during his manic phase which lasted about 6 months. Always up for outings and tennis etc. Then he started acting squirrelly. Nicest guy in the world but I had to admit I was not prepared to deal with it. Bipolar does not go away and a lot of people stop taking the meds because they miss the high of the manic stage.
So she stared at a co-worker's neck for months, an activity most feministas would call stalky/rapey and then she considers the co-worker's friendly and innocuous, “So, how’s your day going?” line as a possible entry to a series of dates. And then it is considered "rejection" that her quirky/negative answer fell flat. What happened to just being friends? Feministas say that the "friend zone" is a negative phrase used by overzealous men.
Truly bipolar people in a manic phase can be quite charming, very energetic, but also tend to be promiscuous, a lot of bouncing around and typically not very honest about it. But, when they inevitably crash it can be major doom and gloom, end of the world thinking, can’t hardly drag themselves out of bed, little to no interest in a mate, friends or the outside world in general. Then, there are those who cycle rapidly with ups and downs coming in terms of days rather than months. Those are the really scary ones, more frequently female than male but both exist.
Broke all the rules regardless. Don’t fish from the company pier. Don’t dip your pen in company ink. My favdorite... Don’t deficate where you eat
Roses are red
I dunno why
I’m Schizophrenic
And so am I
I am 5o and bi-polar. I am single and gave up on the idea of dating years ago because relationships and dealing with my mental illness just does not work. I find it is best for me to stay away from relationships because the stress of dating is enough to put me on the bi-polar rollercoaster. when I did date years ago and my bi-polar was not in control I found that letting someone know about my illness was enough to kill a relationship with any women that was what I would call a quality person unless you had gotten to know them as a friend first before dating. when I did tell a girl who I had not known other then from dating it usually ended when I mentioned it.......my advice to anyone who has mental illness and is dating try to get to know the person as a friend before asking out on a date. then if it is going to become serious tell them because it is not fair for them not to know.
so tired of the medical community’s cycles of latest big push diagnosis being placed on so many, some of which have other issues like alcoholism etc and it’s not factored into their “bi polar diagnosis”.
Sadder yet is so many accept their doctor’s diagnosis without really trying to change other aspects of life that could be more the culprit of highs and lows.
Most forget spiritual portion contributing to our health and wellbeing and opportunity of healing thru Jesus Christ.
My situation is far worse. “Oh, I’m a (pause) Trump supporter.”
Sad but true!
I have ever a gal, right now, texts me on holidays and random days: “Miss you”...You’re handsome(very true), and just random stuff.
Been going on for 6 years.
I occasionally respond. Old friend and I am friends with her entire family.
Still, I am not sure how full her skull is.
Very attractive, all American blonde gal...but....
I have had so many stalkers and other women like this and Usually they quit after a few months.
Received a couple txt for Valentines and I don’t get it. She’s very pretty and should have a boyfriend or two so, she shouldn’t be interested in me.
I have never made my usual overtures and it’s difficult because I have been a perennial playboy for 30 years.
Lately I’ve been thinking maybe I should knock this one off my list but, I know danger and just can’t get there.
If she ain’t crazy then I don’t know what she is...
Pretty pretty girl and no man disagrees but, I can’t get there.
Give me another chance. I have it under control now.
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