NFL Live Thread Week 17

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[Bender2]

NFL Live Thread Final Regular Season Week 17

Sunday, Jan. 1
1 p.m. ET Ravens at Bengals
1 p.m. ET Texans at Titans
1 p.m. ET Panthers at Buccaneers
1 p.m. ET Jaguars at Colts
1 p.m. ET Patriots at Dolphins
1 p.m. ET Bears at Vikings
1 p.m. ET Bills at Jets
1 p.m. ET Cowboys at Eagles
1 p.m. ET Browns at Steelers
4:25 p.m. EF Saints at Falcons
4:25 p.m. ET Giants at Redskins
4:25 p.m. ET Cardinals at Rams
4:25 p.m. ET Raiders at Broncos
4:25 p.m. ET Chiefs at Chargers
4:25 p.m. ET Seahawks at 49ers
8:30 p.m. ET Packers at Lions

[Bender2]

I know what your thinking-- Yeah, how could... a really hot K-9 Police Detective, me, David Hoffman get involved on Bendy's NFL Live Thread--

Oh, and yeah-- Angie... on the cover up there?

Well-- You know... Bendy--

With his Boys, either feast or famine-- He gets... hammered good. But let's get to how all this came about.

Yoe, Dave! Take us to Angie's... she's making Bendy's NFL Picks this week.

Okay.. get in-.

Now, let me see if I can put this together... Bendy's plastered really good and since Anglie was the last female he nailed, she gets to pick for him--

Damn, Dave-- You are still... one detecting son-of-a-bitch!

Look, Tanner-- Leave my Mom... out of this!

Angie's sleeping with Bendy? No way... that could be happening, right?

Let it go, Tanner-- Let... it go.

Up and at 'em, Angie! you are making Bendy's NFL Picks this week!

So, week 17-- Who wins... and who gets wacked--

Even with nothing to play for, the Ravens... bitch slap the Bengals into next Thursday--

The Bucking Ears end... Cam's season on a downer--

Jags-- Colts-- Who cares? But a coin flip... says the Colts--

No rest for the wicked as big's Pattycheaters... drop a wall on the Phins--

Don't get too close, Imp... as it will be a Viqueen funeral for Da Bears--

What? No Rex for a Bills/Jets game? Oh well... even Rexless Bills find an acorn--

Even resting, I'm still feeling Romolistic... for a 14th win for Bendy's Boys--

Really Geils, there is... no hope for the Browns against the Stoolers even if Big Ben does not get off the pot--

And old Drew huffs and puffs... but he cannot blow down Atlanta's byrd house--

And as much as I hate to say it... them Jersey Jints wipe the floor with the Deadskins--

Tribeca? You and Giels... in my office!

How can you pick Imp's Old Chi-Town Cards... over our beloved LA team?

Hey Chief-- They are called the Ewes... for a reason--

Yeah... Tribeca's right, they are the no-balls Rams--

I am a cop, and... know outlaws-- so Seven's DeCarred Waiders get upended by Manning's Old Mad Mile High Ponies--

What? You don't believe... Bendy's Old Dallas Texans will find a way to dam up Old Man Rivers--

I have a badge... so I know the Seathugs get their bye early at the Soapy 9ers--

And also that Aaron Boy makes big's day... and ruins the Loinchops season--

Anithing we've overlooked? You got anything... Dr. Edelweiss?

Only that... will Bendy respect you after making his picks?

Hummmm-- I best... get some advice on that.

Angie. Angie-- Angie--- Angie-- How... can you think that?

You have to trust Bendy... like me, he means well-- But, honey, he's male!

Well, Dave, how... did I do?

Angie-- I'm taking... the fifth.

Okay, okay-- Listen up! As soon as I get this working... we go back to keeping the peace and killing all the bad guys!

Right-- First and formost, I am... a cop!

But later tonight, Bendy-- I'm... patting you down good!

I'll go... peacefully, Office--

[Bender2]

Okay, get you picks in right now... or we start blasting!

[Pollster1]

Nicely posted!

BTW, I’m disappointed in the Rams from Christmas Eve. Losing to the 49ers and spoiling a disgusting quarterback’s beautiful 13-game losing streak? Pathetic.

[Jim W N]

[Jack Black]

The most interesting game is Lions v Packers. Win or go home. It got moved to the late Sunday Night Football slot. I hate that time slot, but it is a national broadcast with no competing games.

[Buckeye McFrog]

Is this thread about the NFL or Rashida Jones?

The Steelers are going to field an absolute JV squad against the Browns. They will win anyway.

[Red Badger]

Packers win, most likely...................

[Enterprise]

December 24, 2016, a date which will live in football infamy. The Rams got beat by football’s most disgraceful QB. Oh the shame!

[NohSpinZone]

So glad my Steelers have nothing to play for this week and have the luxury of resting up whoever Coach Tomlin would like. Onto the playoffs and Stairway to Seven!

[darkangel82]

The Browns won one, it was a Christmas miracle. So I’ll pick them over Pittsburgh, who will probably sit their big 3. Next, the Bungles to ruin what remains of Bmore’s playoff hopes. Rest of picks:
Bucs
Colts to finish .500
Pats
Vikes
Bills
Dallas for a record 14th win
Falcons
Cards
Giants
Raiders
Chiefs
Seahawks
Packers to clinch the North

[Enterprise]

Let's roll!

1. Ravens
2. Texans (Titans QB out)
3. Bucs
4. Colts
5. Patriots
6. Vikings
7. Bills - (even without their old coach cause the Jets are so bad.)
8. Cowboys
9. Steelers (Yeah, I agree that they could put out a JV team and still win.)
10. Falcons
11. Redskins
12. Cards
13. Broncos (Bad "break" for the Raiders)
14. Chargers
15. Seahawks (No way Crapperdork wins with a mealy two point conversion again!)
16. Lions

[campaignPete R-CT]

AFC TIEBREAKERS

OAK has clinched tiebreaker over PATS (common)
KC has clinched the tiebreaker vs OAK (h2h, DIV)
HOUS has clinched tiebreaker over TENN (DIV, clinched DIVISION)
MIAMI has clinched tiebreaker over KC (common)
PITT CLINCH TIEBREAKER OVER HOUS (SOV)

see week 16 for details.

[Bender2]

Re: Is this thread about the NFL or Rashida Jones?

Gadzooks, Old Froggie-- Go back and read all my NFL Live Threads for the past ten years... and you will see the answer as plain as the green nose on your face.

And, I almost forgot-- Get a pie... in the face.

If you don't know what this thread is about... you may be a NFL Live Thread Virgin or just a really ignorant skank--

Here at OU, we banned ignorant skanks years ago... They were giving us in-the-know skanks a bad rep.

Now, now, Bendy-- There are a lot... green virgins around, you know. Philly is full of them--

[hsmomx3]

Yes, and I’m glad they are letting our starters take a rest before the playoff game.

Even with that said, Steelers have got to do better. Seems most of their games come down to the final minutes or seconds!

[spel_grammer_an_punct_polise]

If the likes of Kaeperdick and those of his ilk are not destroying the league then the game officials are certainly doing their part to make sure that the league fails.

Some of the penalties which should be called are so obvious as to be pathetic that they are not called.

[campaignPete R-CT]

NFC TIEBREAKERS

DET has tiebreaker over ATL (common)
ATL has head-to-head over GB

GB has clinched tiebreaker over DET at 9-6-1 (h2h)
DET has clinched tiebreaker over WASH at 9-6-1 (conf)

DETROIT HAS CLINCHED TIEBREAKER OVER TAMPA BAY
GB HAS INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD IN TIEBREAKER OVER TAMPA BAY (SOV) details to follow

see week 16 thread for details.

[campaignPete R-CT]

GB vs TB at 9-7 tie comes down to SOV.
common ended tied at 3-2

eliminate matched wins, chi and sea

TB WINS:
ATL 10
CAR 6
SF 2
KC 11
SD 5
NO 7
CAR 6

47 TOTAL. atL PLAYS NO. KC PLAYS SD. CAR LOCKED AT 6
MIN OF 49. MAX OF 50.

GB WINS:
JAX 3
DET 10
NYG 11
CHI 3
PHIL 6
HOUS 8
MINN 7

48 TOTAL. MINN PLAYS CHI. REQUIRES NYG WIN OVER WASH
MIN OF 49. MAX OF 52.

THUS FAR .... CLOSE.
TAMPA NEEDS 3 OF 4 GAMES TO GO THEIR WAY TO GAIN A TIE. (JAX PHIL HOUS SF)
SOS is also very close.

TB GAINED WITH KC AND DAL WINS!

[campaignPete R-CT]

STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE, STRENGTH OF DEFEAT

TB LOSSES
AZ 6.5
LA 4
DEN 8
OAK 12
ATL
DAL
NO 7
TOTAL 37.5
OAK PLAYS DEN, AZ PLAYS LA.
MIN 39.5, MAX 40.5

GB LOSSES
MINN 7
DAL
ATL
INDY 7
TENN 8
WASH 8.5
DET 10
TOTAL 40.5
Max is 43.5

TAMPA BAY IS GOING TO HAVE TO WIN SOV OUTRIGHT, UNLESS ON STRENGTH OF DEFEAT, THEY CATCH GREEN BAY.

STENGTH OF SCHEDULE IS STRENGTH OF DEFEAT
GREEN BAY HAS CLINCHED TIE HERE, MAGIC NUMBER IS ONE.
ONE OF FOUR. (MINN INDY TENN, LOSS by NO)

[Rummyfan]

Is it the final week of the regular season already? Despite (lack of) prior performance I shall once again Sally forth with fearless predictions!

Sunday, Jan. 1

1 p.m. ET Ravens at Bengals. Two teams playing for nothing but pride . If the Ravens only had one game-breaking receiver and a couple decent DBs, they'd be contenders. But even without those items, they'll end the season with a W. And maybe Marvin Lewis' tenure in Cincy. RAVENS.

1 p.m. ET Texans at Titans. Without Marcus Mariota, the Titans are not the same team. While Tom Savage ain't no Johnny U, he showed he's enough. TEXANS.

1 p.m. ET Panthers at Buccaneers. I believe the Bucs are eliminated correct? They made strides this season and next year should be even better. As for the Panthers... 'Nuff said. BUCS.

1 p.m. ET Jaguars at Colts. Jags have shown life lately and that they are not mailing it in for the end of the season. Colts should be better than they are, but they're not. JAGS.

1 p.m. ET Patriots at Dolphins. How have the Dolphins won eight-of-nine?! I don't know, other Jaye Ajayi running wild. He may have a big game Sunday, but Tom and the Pat's will play bigger. PATS.

1 p.m. ET Bears at Vikings. Eight weeks ago the Vikings looked like a monster team. What a turnaround! The Bears.... Five interceptions last week by Barkley made Chicago fans yearn for Jay Cutler. But the Vikings are at home and will make it a Happy New Year's Day in Minnesota. VIKINGS.

1 p.m. ET Bills at Jets. I'm sure fans around the country are anxiously awaiting this match-up. NOT, Someone has to win though, and with the Bills under an interim coach (the Ryan brothers having departed) they'll be too disorganized. JETS.

1 p.m. ET Cowboys at Eagles. Did everyone see that second half steamroller that was the Cowboys O?! The Eagles are on the brink of being.... better. The Cowboys are too much for them right now. COWBOYS.

1 p.m. ET Browns at Steelers. Browns got their win last week. Even if the Steelers give their starters a break, they'll still have enough for Cleveland. STEELERS.

4:25 p.m. ET. Saints at Falcons. Saints season: down-up-down-up-DOWN. The downward trend continues. FALCONS.

4:25 p.m. ET Giants at Redskins. Easy road for the Redskins -beat the Giants and they're in the playoffs. Giants O has been sputtering. It will sputter this week too. REDSKINS.

4:25 p.m. ET Cardinals at Rams. The Cardinals... What a disappointment this season. A victory over the Lambs isn't anything to crow about, but it's better than a loss to the Lambs. CARDINALS.

4:25 p.m. ET Raiders at Broncos. The immortal Matt McGloin subs for the injured Derek Carr. With Carr, the Raiders were Super Bowl contenders; without him.... I'm going to reserve judgement. Still, the Broncos have no offense, and are eliminated from the postseason. RAIDERS.

4:25 p.m. ET Chiefs at Chargers. Chiefs have a lot more to play for than the Bolts, who may be playing their final game in San Diego. CHIEFS.

4:25 p.m. ET Seahawks at 49ers. The Seahawks are not the powerhouse of a couple of years ago. But the Niners.... Is Kaper-dink still on the team? SEAHAWKS.

8:30 p.m. ET Packers at Lions. Pack have won five in a row, with some impressive wins in there (Seattle) and a miraculous escape or two in there (Chicago). Lions played well Monday.... For one half. They'll need sixty minutes of quality play this week. So... Aaron Rodgers or Matthew Stafford when you absolutely need a win? Aaron Rodgers if for no other reason than he does the better commercials. PACKERS.

A Happy New Year to All on the thread!

And just for the heck of it....

Ohio State over Clemson...

Washington over 'Bama in the upset of the still-young century...

And....

GEORGIA TECH over KENTUCKY.

[campaignPete R-CT]

GB VS TB, SOV

GB has magic number of one to tie SOV which is sufficient.
One of Four:

JAX win
PHIL win
HOUS win
LOSS BY SF

JAX plays INDY .... HOUS plays TENN ... GB wins SOS under all circumstances with SOV tied.