Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
Dear Carolyn-
Grow up and stop whining about everything
Carry a pistol when running if you are afraid
Don’t run in bad neighborhoods or other areas know to be dangerous...
If you won’t/can’t do those things, stay home and run on a treadmill...
my thoughts too.
If you don’t want us to yell out: “nice tits” then don’t run topless
I help where I can. I teach basic firearm safety along with situational awareness and close quarters gun reaction.
Some ways the female runner can help herself:
Don’t run after dark
Do carry (pistol preferred, taser, pepper spray, baton/flashlight - something)
Run with a companion (friend or dog)
Don’t run with headphones in your ears
Practice situational awareness
Keep your head on a swivel.
Learn the basics of how to break fingers and poke out eyes. Further be willing to do so in a fight.
Also get training on how to get out of (rear grab, hand grab, rear choke)
my daughter is a cross country runner for her school, and I go out with her. Sometimes bike, car, or run beside her for some of the way LOL, depending on what route she takes. Now saying that she wants equality then take it.
Take what comes and carry a sidearm.
I must be a dummy. If I were worried about my safety, and perhaps something going wrong near me, I wouldn't wear headphones. Being unable to hear anything except music seems like it would be a really bad idea if you actually believed there was any potential danger around you.
In fact when I am outside I always look around and listen, just in case something happens that I want to be aware of before it happens to me.
Maybe the person who wrote the article needs to take some responsibility for their own safety and feelings.
Otherwise known as stupidity.
Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahaha!!!! Get over yourself. YOU share the footpath, bitch!
Oh, yeah ... if you want to actually be safe, instead of merely feeling safe ... QUIT VOTING FOR LEFTIST GUN-CONTROL-FREAK POLITICIANS!!!
If she made you a sammich ... would you actually eat it?
My first impulse was to ‘roll my eyes’ but then I kept reading. Many of her points are valid, and are what used to be called common sense or courtesy . Much of this courtesy was for any person, but a special brand of that civilized behavior was/is meant for men toward women. That’s mainly how I was raised.
This was long before women began demanding to be treated exactly like men in almost every situation.
That change in social expectation should not change the basic facts of getting along with people. Treat others as you would wish to be treated, or as you would wish the women in your family to be treated. When I became a teenager, I was taught there are right ways and wrong ways to shop, if you don’t want to arouse suspicion of store clerks on the lookout for shoplifters. As a teen, I learned there are ways to avoid most suspicion of the cops, on the lookout for people running away from the law. Some folks do need to learn what personal boundaries are. I always assume a woman wants a little more space, a little less eye contact unless she indicates otherwise, or unless the situation requires more.
I keep joking that we need to invent a modern version of the Charm Schools that Sears and Roebuck used to offer to the public.
Exactly.
I don’t have any problem treating women deferentially in matters like this, because even if there is a large percentage of women who cannot grasp reality, there is a subset that does, and appreciate the protection a man can offer.
But the truth of the matter is (and this woman probably knows it but can’t bring herself to accept it) that if something bad happens and she doesn’t have a weapon, unless she is one of the privileged small percent that has all these things going for her, things are going to go badly if someone wants to do her harm:
Has the time, money, and desire to work to a high level of fitness
Take martial arts courses
Have the inclination to use that training
Have the luck to catch a male aggressor either incompetent or off-guard
Have the training she has received work for her the first time in a crisis
There are far too many women who subscribe to the Hollywood BS that a woman can go out and take on 3 or 4 men in physical combat (all of whom can be highly trained and at the apex of male fitness) and not only prevail, but walk away leaving all of them lying on the ground holding their crotch in pain. There are a lot of women who actually BELIEVE that.
It is stupid and dangerous. The point is, ladies, you cannot have it both ways. You cannot trumpet the dogma that the only thing holding women back in any endeavor, mental or physical, is the lack of opportunity.
There is a thing called reality.
You have nailed it, exactly. Nicely said.
I’ll also say how about some women show some class when they are in public. Wearing tank tops and yoga pants make you look naked. Do you run around in a bathing suit in the woods? Nope. You wear clothes. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. You have to to take your clothes off to go running. Show some class.
Yep. Excellent article until near the end. Then the author went off the rails.
You have a gift... a rare eloquence.
Don’t run alone. Leave the headphones at home. Wear some steel toe boots when you run. Pack some heat. Wear a sports bra.
I was thinking the same thing. So is a stationary bike at home. Aside from mashers, there are other issues with women and MALE joggers in Australia: dingos and a truly amazing assortment of venomous snakes along with careless or intoxicated drivers come to mind.
Thing is, I wouldn’t have a problem standing up for a woman not known personally to me. I would do it as a matter of default, but I know that comes from a different type of upbringing.
But the scorn, derision, and absolute contempt some women would show for a man that would do this is beyond irritating.
I was on Third street just north of downtown Seattle about 8 years ago just walking along. I noticed this 20 something young woman walking behind me and struggling to “keep up” but always just a step or so behind me. Remembering that it is a bit of a “dicey” area, I turned around and said something like, “Hey, if you want me to walk next to you and it will make you feel safer, I’ll do that.” She had a sheepishly relieved smile and that’s what we did for about three blocks. I don’t even remember what we talked about, but it felt good to help.
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