“I hate myself for it.”
That can happen when reality rubs your nose in the fact that you are as full of crap as a Christmas goose.
“I hate my sexist, wealthy, materialistic father”
Why, you smarmy ingrate. Just swallow the fact that you “broke the glass ceiling” as a special-privileges minority hire, and live on your husband’s salary.
“I hate that I want a more traditional lifestyle with a husband who can provide for me.”
Sounds like your husband can provide. What’s the matter, pride won’t let you live with less money? Stop, you’re breaking my heart.
“I don’t think I can be the financial provider and a mother.”
You can’t. That’s why God tells us not to do that unless we have to.
“And I hate that I would never look at my husband the same way if he was a stay-at-home dad.”
You would hate yourself for responding appropriately to the revelation that your husband is an honorary woman? How can one person get that screwed up?
“Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses.”
If you are married, there is no “I pay”. Income, expense, assets and liability belong to the household.
That’s her real problem.
Evidently his dream job doesn’t pay squat. I’m sure they couldn’t have seen this coming.
Buyers remorse?
” My husband now has his dream job.”
So, they didn’t talk about the money aspect of things?
Dear Huma
This women is so stupid. First, she needs to understand that if the situation was reversed and she had a dead end job which she gave up to have kids, she would find herself sitting at home changing diapers trapped at nap time, unable to go out because a 6 month old has a schedule that is dictating her life. Her husband would come home late from time to time after a drink or dinner, telling her about the great things in the office. And all she has to offer, is their child’s poop was green today. She will feel trapped. When you take on responsibility you can feel trapped. Welcome to the world of responsibility.
If she married him for the money, she is an idiot. If she is not having kids because of her job, she is an idiot. If she thought that her career was 30 years of straight up, interesting change, she is an idiot. And the fact that she is blaming other people for her values demonstrates that she is both an idiot and shallow.
She should decide what she wants in life, and then she should go for that. Children are hard. Careers are hard. Marriage, at times, can be hard. And achieving money does not necessarily get you to your goals and certainly does not determine happiness. Come up with goals other than, I want to make money. You can have enough money very easily. You don’t need endless amounts. And stop blaming your mother-in-law and your father. This is your life. And if you’re not happy, its your fault.
It would also be interesting to know what kind of position she holds. I could use a wildly successful career myself, instead of just a successful one, LOL.
I think they would be better off separating so she can see if what she imagines the issues are meet up with reality.
You can’t have it both ways. If you make more money than he does, of course you should contribute more to the household expenses.
But it sounds like you fell in love (questionable) with an ideal, not a reality. And the times have changed, so the dream has faded. Either you accept the changed circumstances, you work to fix them, or you bail.
It sounds like you are a wide-eyed schoolgirl and your husband had an early mid-life crisis. Not a great foundation for a marriage.
This whole drama began because she fell for the power and seniority of the boss at work?
And she didn't see how that was really what we now call a hostile work environment due to the disparity of power between them and between her and her coworkers because she slept with the boss?
-PJ
Did those marriage vows contain the phrase “for better or worse...”?
Cognitive dissonance.
She’s torn between her feminist beliefs and the reality of her biological and emotional needs as a woman.
You shall reap what you sowed.
LOL. For all you young girls out there who fantasize about having a passionate "romance" with a "bad boy," this will be you -- b*tching and moaning about him once the magic has worn off.
Many women want to be the guy, until they don’t.
Based on our chosen professions my wife knew before we were married that she would always make more money than me. She doesn’t have an issue with it, and I sure as heck don’t. Why would I complain about more money?
She’s very immature.
Of course her career took off because of the equipment between her legs. Industries that are 90% male now typically have management that is 90% female.
So she got everything she wanted, he got everything he wanted. The difference is he isn’t whining because he earned it whereas she was probably an affirmative action trophy.