“Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses.”
If you are married, there is no “I pay”. Income, expense, assets and liability belong to the household.
That’s her real problem.
failure to truly 'get' that concept leads to no end of misery.
agreed.
We got married young, and have been with each other over 21 years now. When we married we got a bank account in both our names, and just pay for things out of it. There is no you pay this much, or you pay for that.
I know another couple what goes 50/50 all the time on their bills, always argue on who will pay for what, who is paying for a meal if they go out for heavens sake.
...and there's the problem.
My lovely wife and I have three buckets. "Our Money", which is by necessity the largest bucket, "Her Money" and "My Money".
Everything that it takes to run a family from food to housing to retirement to...whatever...comes out of the "Our Money" bucket. Doesn't matter who put what in, we both contribute what needs to be contributed.
My money, is mine. If I choose to buy a loud, fast and noisy toy, my wife - other than giving me a "boys will be boys" eyeroll - could care less. Ditto if she wants to buy her umpty-hundreth pair of shoes, it's her money and she should buy what she wants.
We've not had a cross word about money in nearly 20 years, through thick and thin. 'Tis one of the smartest things that we've ever done.
I think the author sounds pretty self-centered and nasty. However, her husband is pretty irresponsible to take a job that required a 75% long term pay cut as well, and just expected her to shoulder the load. No wonder there's some strain, there.
For most of our marriage, my wife has earned more money than me. However, 90% of the time, I have paid the mortgage, utilities (electric, gas, water, and phone), in addition to withholding extra taxes from my W-4 because she always claims too many exemptions.
She pays for the car insurance, and some groceries. I don't mind it, because I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
She's like most women: her check is her money, my check is our money. For the woman in the article, I'm not feeling too sympathetic. I'd like to hear what her husband's dream job is, presumably it's in the field in which he got a graduate degree.
I was never that excited about money. Now that I'm a couple of years from retirement, I've picked out a hobby I can enjoy: wine & viticulture. Nothing better than visiting a winery, enjoying a good glass of wine and good conversation.
that’s what I was thinking.