Vanity: I need you guys to pray for me

Self | 11-28-2016 | Vanity

[max americana]

Ours was Tagalog, Spanish and English. It stopped because the parishioners were complaining of headaches and eventually, got tired of the pc nonsense.

[Enlightened1]

Prayers just sent....

[RooRoobird20]

I will pray for you, your wife, and your marriage. God bless.

[onona]

My prayers are with you. Keep the faith. You have our support.

[Reddy]

I read a lot, but had never heard of the dread game. So I looked it up.

Just wow. The word “reprobate” comes to mind.

[Az Joe]

“Resist not evil”

[JamesP81]

I will be fully honest with you. You have no way of knowing if the problem is with me or not. It is, of course, a possibility. If so, prayer ought to reveal it. If not, prayer will reveal that as well. With that said, I don’t currently believe I’m the primary cause of these issues. Clearly if I could rewind and do things differently there are some things I’d change, though it’s probably not as many as you’d think.

Regardless of all that, however, is the simple truth that some things I can’t just fix. I am a man, we like that sort of thing, but people aren’t machines that can be repaired by swapping out defective parts for new ones.

It took God Himself intervening in my life to “fix” me of the issues I was having as recently as five years ago. My family and friends tried and failed for years to fix my issues, where only God succeeded.

The uncaring truth is that my wife’s problems are outside of my control. They are, and must remain, firmly in God’s hands.

[DannyTN]

1. Prayer up!
2. They are all crazy. Even if you find a good one, they go crazy.
3. So I heard three things..Lack of friends, lack of things, generally unhappy.
4. You can certainly try other churches. They are like people. Each has a different personality. You want a church that does activities together where you can get to know people. Small group studies, join the choir, outings, etc. Sometimes the larger churches offer more activities but they can also be cliquish. You'll just have to try.
5. Shake things up with some non-church activities. Try Partner dancing. Meetups.com. Find out what she is interested in trying. You could probably find a list of activities online and review them with her.
6. Get the book the 5 love languages and find out what hers and yours is. Gift giving is one...and usually that doesn't have to be big things... but can be very small and frequent. Master all 5.
7. Consider volunteering. Take her to feed the homeless. She'll feel good about herself and realize how much she has.
8. Find out what things she is envious of...maybe you can rent them for a weekend, instead of trying to buy stuff.

   Disclaimer: DannyTN is divorced and currently having trouble with his girlfriend of 6 years. Not a counselor but sometimes plays one on FR.

[DannyTN]

1. Prayer up!
2. They are all crazy. Even if you find a good one, they go crazy.
3. So I heard three things..Lack of friends, lack of things, generally unhappy.
4. You can certainly try other churches. They are like people. Each has a different personality. You want a church that does activities together where you can get to know people. Small group studies, join the choir, outings, etc. Sometimes the larger churches offer more activities but they can also be cliquish. You'll just have to try.
5. Shake things up with some non-church activities. Try Partner dancing. Meetups.com. Find out what she is interested in trying. You could probably find a list of activities online and review them with her.
6. Get the book the 5 love languages and find out what hers and yours is. Gift giving is one...and usually that doesn't have to be big things... but can be very small and frequent. Master all 5.
7. Consider volunteering. Take her to feed the homeless. She'll feel good about herself and realize how much she has.
8. Find out what things she is envious of...maybe you can rent them for a weekend, instead of trying to buy stuff.

   Disclaimer: DannyTN is divorced and currently having trouble with his girlfriend of 6 years. Not a counselor but sometimes plays one on FR.

[Reddy]

My first thought when I read your request was that maybe there was something more going on that you are not aware of in the Church (maybe not). Pete’s response in #44 was what came to mind.

Praying for wisdom for you and your wife. May God bless you both through this situation.

[ifinnegan]

I do know because it is in something you said.

Let me tell you brother, we’ve all been there one way or another in our marriages.

“I’m angry and jealous towards people who have things I want that I don’t have.”

That’s an issue between you two.

[JamesP81]

“I’m angry and jealous towards people who have things I want that I don’t have.”

That’s an issue between you two.

Perhaps you are misunderstanding. Those are not my words. Those are her words. I don't feel this way towards my brothers and sisters at church, but she does.

That is not a thing I have the power to change. As I said, it rests with God.

[Rusty0604]

How has this worked out for you? Wouldn’t it be easier to just not get involved with people with undesirable traits to begin with?

[trebb]

You have my prayers.

Will your wife attend another church of the same denomination? If so, I'd go with her and loving her as the sacred relationship requires.

I like Ephesians as a bit of guidance - it tells the woman to respect her husband because women are more prone to love than respect (as God made them) and it tells the man to love his wife because men too often get hung up with the nuances of respect (as God made them. Individual Churches may come/go/reorganize but God stays the same and the sacred covenant of marriage trumps all else except God.

God Bless and hope you and your wife become stronger from the trials. Pray both individually and together.

That's the best I can offer - please don't think I'm being presumptuous - I know personally how my own selfish feelings can cause me to resent my wife and I also know that if I obey the covenant of marriage and God, the specific places don't matter a whit.

[Rusty0604]

I bet he is single or married to a miserable woman.

[Dogbert41]

"The Verse that pops into my mind is the Commandment from scripture for men to love their wives as Christ loves the Church."

This. For some this is really hard. But

[ifinnegan]

Yes. Those are her words.

“I’m angry and jealous towards people who have things I want that I don’t have.”

No matter where you go there will always be people who have things she wants but doesn’t have.

The issue is your marriage and why are there things she wants but doesn’t have? There are many possibilities.

The problem is not the church or other people in the church it is in your lives and relationship.

Not to covet, which she says she is doing, is one of the Ten Commandments.

Why is she coveting? Does she know she’s coveting?

How are you, as husband, helping her?

Etc...

[Rusty0604]

I looked it up too. I thought of a few other nouns and adjectives but reprobate will work on this forum.

[Rusty0604]

Sounds like a lot of work to me.

Disclosure: rusty0604 has been happily divorced for 25 years and any relationship she had since she dropped like a hot potato when it became more work than fun.

[Just mythoughts]

My wife got upset at something someone at church said. Yeah, I know, old story. This is in addition to a litany of other complaints she has that boils down to "I don't have any friends" and "I'm angry and jealous towards people who have things I want that I don't have." As you can imagine, those two are related.

Apparently you believe your wife is being itchy... It is nigh on to impossible to ask a prayer given only one side of the 'story' is being told. It does appear by your description that YOU like being a somebody in this church... Perhaps that is really the issue? Then again perhaps your wife is being itchy.