Posted on 11/04/2016 5:43:45 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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The 2016 presidential election is in exactly one week! One weak Republican, and one weak Democrat.
That’s right, there’s exactly one week until Election Day, and this is probably a bad sign, but that’s where the calendar just stops. ~ Seth Meyers
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Mark one’s calendar because Election Day is but one week away. Seven days. Enough time to tell your family you love them and make your peace with God. As the captain of the “Titanic” once said, “This is not a drill.” ~ Colbert
Democratic contributor Donna Brazile has resigned from CNN after WikiLeaks revealed she leaked a primary debate question to the Clinton campaign. Turns out the question was about lead poisoning in Flint, Michigan. So, finally, someone lost their job over Flint. ~ Colbert
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These Hillary email scandals brought Anthony Weiner back into the news. Here's a question nobody is asking.
Anthony Weiner is Jewish, right? Right? So, does this scandal make him a Hebrew National Weiner? ~ Leno Did you see Bill Clinton at the Democratic convention where he introduced his new campaign slogan?
"I'm with her … and her, and her, and you too, darling." ~ Leno
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JAY LENO TAGS IN ON FALLON'S TONIGHT SHOW
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Hillary's voters are now more excited to vote for Hillary than Trump voters are to vote for Trump. Which is crazy because getting excited about Hillary is like getting excited about taking your car in for an oil change. It's not fun, but the alternative is your car bursting into flames. ~ James Corden
Many news outlets are saying Donald Trump will almost certainly pivot to media and launch his own TV network after the election. Which means as early as next year we could see Trump TV filing for bankruptcy. ~ Seth Meyers
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The polls are tightening. The latest ABC News/ Washington Post poll has Donald Trump moving ahead of Hillary Clinton by one point as enthusiasm declines. Though, to be fair, any time Trump gets close to a woman, enthusiasm tends to decline. ~ Colbert
For the first time in their 111-year history, Variety has endorsed a presidential candidate — Hillary Clinton. That’s right, the magazine named Variety said, “Let’s have a second President Clinton!” ~ Colbert
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Dream big, Small One, dream big.
“Kitty Self-Image”
Duly stolen for my personal amusing picture files!
Praying it’s “Mr Smith goes to Washinton”
Excellent! Lotsa work in that one.
In Cambodia on Christmas eve...
Box or open end?
Open end or box end ratcheting??
Open end or box end ratcheting??
Is that Vladimir Putin? LOL
Reflections
I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet...
I don’t need any anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
When I was a child, I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grownup, it just feels like a
small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is... “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
My kids’ text me “plz” which is shorter then please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”
I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.
I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my wife took it!
Even duct tape can’t fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree... that makes it a plant which means... chocolate is Salad!!!
lol - open end will be fine. Anytime within the next two minutes would be good.
- - - - -thanks for all the LAUGHS!!! NOW I’m off to a
rally at the TRUMP HOUSE in Latrobe, Pa. In attendance
will be Jon Voight and Sheriff David Clark!!! Also local
radio celeb Jim Quinn. WE WILL WIN ON TUES!!!!!!!! ciao
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