I am sorry. :(
I have found that contrary to what i thought, remembering pops and uncles and others and all the good times cheers me up and doesn’t depress me like I thought it would.
Since you have been shown time and again to be wiser than me, you already know that, I bet.
I do get sad remembering all that I have lost - especially my Queens & Brooklyn relatives who were so personable and odd (in a good way) - I try and keep their memory alive in my cooking, my words and my love of America.
One of the reasons I’ve turned out to adore The Donald is that his phraseology so reminds me of my youth. He’s the real Beauty Part.