Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


1 posted on 09/21/2016 2:29:39 PM PDT by UMCRevMom@aol.com
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies ]


To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Sorry... my smilie face went crazy BIG!!!!


2 posted on 09/21/2016 2:30:43 PM PDT by UMCRevMom@aol.com
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Don’t know if these are real or not, but I do know they’re funny.


3 posted on 09/21/2016 2:35:21 PM PDT by colorado tanker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
My favorite was "LH Ejection seat handle fails to function, safety pin installed".

This was on an F-16 at Hill AFB depot IRAN maintenance. Makes you wonder what the writeup would have been if the pin wasn't installed?

5 posted on 09/21/2016 2:38:32 PM PDT by pfflier
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

hi-jack your thread but it reminded me of the car/driver excuses. https://letterpile.com/quotes/Funny-Excuses-Car-Accidents


7 posted on 09/21/2016 2:40:29 PM PDT by showme_the_Glory ((ILLEGAL: prohibited by law. ALIEN: Owing political allegiance to another country or government))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
Thats been floating around for a long time.

First saw it in on the board during flight training in the 1980s.

It refers to a missing engine, which would have been a piston engine, so it probably dates back to the 1950s at least

It still cracks me up every time I see it.

9 posted on 09/21/2016 2:42:46 PM PDT by rdcbn ("There is no means of avoiding a final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alt)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
Sounds like Southwest.

Flight attendant announcement on landing:
"Remember to take all children with you when you disembark or we'll sell them on ebay."

10 posted on 09/21/2016 2:44:04 PM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

I was going to ask what 'major' airline "never, ever, had an accident" but after reading this, I'll ask "What airline uses IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) and Targeting Radar"?

11 posted on 09/21/2016 2:45:01 PM PDT by PAR35
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Bookmark


12 posted on 09/21/2016 2:45:53 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

This is the kind of gags and stuff the airplane movies would have done.


14 posted on 09/21/2016 2:49:38 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Top Drift, but timely:

10 Quotes About Politicians

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen - Winston Churchill

An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere - Mark Twain

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word - Charles De Gaulle

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators - PJ O’Rourke

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber - Plato

Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue - Anonymous

A politician thinks of the next election - a statesman of the next generation - James Freeman Clarke

Now I know what a statesman is; he’s a dead politician. We need more statesmen - Bob Edwards

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress .... But I repeat myself - Mark Twain


15 posted on 09/21/2016 2:56:24 PM PDT by Oatka (Beware of an old man in a profession where men usually die young.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
In Vietnam, we Avionics Techs had good and friendly working relationships with the copter pilots.

A typical write-up:

Pilot: VHF radio only works intermittently.

Avionics: Advise you only use radio when it works.

16 posted on 09/21/2016 2:59:19 PM PDT by PROCON ("Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
I live aircraft maintenance - this stuff always makes me smile, no matter how many times I hear it - Thanks!

(Back in the day when I used to test-run jet engines, a leaky seal would often cause a bit of oil smoke after shutdown - my official diagnoses on the crab sheet would always read: "Smokin' PT Blues" - drove my manager nuts.)

18 posted on 09/21/2016 3:03:44 PM PDT by Psalm 73 ("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
"Squawks"
19 posted on 09/21/2016 3:06:20 PM PDT by ExSES (the "bottom-line")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Classic!

20 posted on 09/21/2016 3:07:29 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Proud Member Of The "Basket Of Deplorables")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Pilit humor right up there with the FAA annotated version of High Flight (which I would post if I wasn’t on my phone).


24 posted on 09/21/2016 3:58:35 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Muammar Gaddafi had donated to the Clinton Foundation he would still be alive and in power today.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

Having been a ‘flightline maintenance man’, reading these supposed intelligent reports by pilots, reminds me of many of the same things written by front-and-rear-seaters of the former 35th TFW of the late George AFB, CA.

A true, weird and funny one was that the backseater’s radar scope would wink in and out while in flight, but would remain lit, while the aircraft was all running on the tarmac. We had to have a guy from our radar shop actually fly with the pilot of that aircraft, with all the lower cockpit panels removed, to find the one 22 gauge wire causing all the trouble. Of course, the pilot has his fun with the poor guy, jinking around the sky to make the wire move ‘just so’. Once the wire was found, the pilot returned to base and landed the plane. The flight, was right after lunch ... (you fill in the rest). The aircraft was towed to the repair dock, to be fixed. The repairman was sent to the hospital for a day of observation. The pilot was found later at the Officers’ Club, and summoned to the base commander’s office. He had to clean the entire rear cockpit of the mess, BEFORE, my shop crew could begin the repair work.


37 posted on 09/21/2016 6:47:04 PM PDT by Terry L Smith
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson