Al-Gebra
Al-Gebra is a terrorist movement headed up by the leader known as Osum of Bin Adden which has reportedly infiltrated American schools. It began at the undergraduate level and has spread to secondary schools, according to US Attorney General John Ashcroft. Favored targets are said to include homomorphics and people living in polynomial relationships. Academics dismiss the Ashcroft's accusations as pandering to the lowest common denominator of anti-Arab prejudice.
Al-Gebra terrorist, attempting to trisect an angle.
History
Early Organization
Al-Gebra has a long history, dating back to before Jesus Christ was born.
According to former member Al-Culus, the organization was originally founded in about 750 AD, at the peak of the Islamic golden age. They taught math with a religious conviction; so much so that students who failed were put to death.
The group then disappeared around 1250 AD; around the time the Mongols invaded the Caliphate.
Remergence
Al-Gebra is then said to have resurfaced in Renaissance-era Europe, though with less extreme practices, as a secret organization that whispered secrets to the great scientists of the time, such as Sir Issac Newton and Galileo. By the 1700s, they had infiltrated nearly all of Europe's educational institutions, though they had lost most of their influence in the Islamic world.
Modern Day
The web of deception was first uncovered at New York's Kennedy Airport when an individual claiming to be a school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, set square, slide rule and calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft, said he believes the man is:
...A member of the notorious al Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI for carrying weapons of math instruction.
A SINE reveals that Al-Gebra uses use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', and the CIA has determined they belong to an axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. Field agents are evaluating rumored links with ring-leaders in the French defunctional Action Direct group. At a recent press conference, President Bush assured Americans that the federal government is working hard to find a solution to this problem.
It is commonly used as a Method of Severe Torture [M.S.T] for young adults between the ages of 12-18. This torture occurs at public school, more commonly known as Hell.
The Al-Gebra are known to set ordered pairs off on various coordinates. Which we can only assume are explosive. Linear expressions are often used to imitate enemies.
Known Members
Suspected members of Al-Gebra (math teachers and nerds) are being sent to interrogation chambers run by professional interrogators (failing math students).
If you see something, keep yer damn mouth shut.
yeah he was working on a differential equation and they thought he was writing his kamakazi death- haiku
An awful lot of adults these days have never seen a differential equation and would be mystified as to just what sort of writing it might be.
I note the Press couldn’t wait to make this yet another anti-Trump bash.
What the hell are they going to do when the guy bags the election? Jump off a bridge in the depth of their despair....?
Here is the nasty map that shows the connections of Al-Gebra and Al-Culus.
Don’t forget the fork of Trig!
It appears he had a protractor, a compass, calculator, and a ruler. Airline officials were naturally concerned about a passenger carrying implements of math instruction.
I'd throw him off for that crack.
Well Mr. Paranoid, you might start by remembering that what happened to you was because of seven years of Obama (who is still in office), not Trump (who isn't the President - yet).
There’s a lot of profound and unfixable stupidity around. That stupidity can get innocent people in trouble.
If the guy had been muzlem he’d be sitting in the White House right now being interviewed.
Just Italian. No victim group. End of discussion.
First Penn gets the bad rap as “the bottom of the Ivy League.” Then the Army-Navy game got moved off from Franklin Field. Now this: a Penn math professor gets dissed for doing equations on an airplane. This disrespect of Ben Franklin’s university has to stop.
"I have had it with these m________ equations on this m________ plane!"