Posted on 02/05/2016 4:56:59 AM PST by daniel1212
I saw a woman leaving the YMCA recently with a baby strapped to her chest. She had a second, slightly larger baby in a stroller. And she had a tantrum-throwing three-year-old holding her hand. She was infested with small children. I couldn't help but stare...
The three-year-old was trying to make a scene. I say "trying to make a scene" because he was waging war against his mother, and she was refusing to participate. With a steady gait and an even expression, she ignored him.
It was the most spectacular moment in parenting I have ever seen. This woman, who I imagine lives in a shoe, should teach a seminar.
The three-year-old kept saying "You're so mean to me," over and over again. I tried to think back to all of the things I would have said in this situation when I had toddlers to defend myself against. "I'm mean??" I would have started. "You're the one who..." But this mother said nothing. And without a reaction from his mother, this kid was firing blanks.
He tried a new approach. "I'm freezing. I don't even have any pockets." To which his mother calmly responded, "Oh, that's too bad. You should have brought a jacket with pockets."...
The key to our parking lot heroine's success is that she was decidedly not self-conscious. She was aware that I had stopped in my tracks to watch this scene, riveted. But in the same way that she wasn't going to hand her power over to her three-year-old, she wasn't going to hand it over to me either...
As they got in the car, the child threatened, "When we get home I'm going to my room!" His mother replied, "I think that's a wonderful idea."
Checkmate.
(Excerpt) Read more at theweek.com ...
Yes indeed, now and in the kingdom: And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof. (Zechariah 8:5)
Be there by repentant faith/trust in the risen Son of God to save damned and destitute sinners on His account, not our merits or that of church and saints or physically eating and drinking.
Which is now largely another museum displays in the West.
My wife bargains with our 4 yr old.
It infuriates me.
I tell her “That child does not get to vote”.
This is the only time in my daughters’ life when my word is law.
It all goes downhill from here, balance of power-wise, so I strive to indoctrinate her with my values now, before it is too late.
If done incorrectly she will, in a few years, bring home a boyfriend with piercings and purple hair, and I will go to prison for murder.
I seek to avoid that scenario.
“The three-year-old kept saying “You’re so mean to me,” over and over again. I tried to think back to all of the things I would have said in this situation when I had toddlers to defend myself against. “I’m mean??” I would have started. “You’re the one who...” But this mother said nothing. And without a reaction from his mother, this kid was firing blanks. “
Well I guess my Sociology 105 class has stuck with me. Its called “extinction” Ignoring bad behavior until a child stops doing it because they get no attention for it. American Indians historically use extinction in raising their children. And I think Eskimos.
The Amish keep it alive and well. I’ll bet it isn’t as archaic as some believe it to be.
I used it.
I once encountered the mother of triplet babies and asked her, “What do you do when all three cry at once?” She smiled and said, “I just listen.”
My youngest went through TERRIBLE twos. I avoided shopping with him as much as possible.
Once I took him to the grocery store and he wanted to buy some candy and I did not meet his demand. He arched his back and thew himself on the floor, crying. I just kept walking with the other kid and stopped at an isle around the corner. All these shoppers gathered around him looking down. He had his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes, he stopped crying and screeched for me. I said “We are over here.”
He did not pull that trick again. He was mortified. Better he embarrass himself than take me and his brother down with him.
My husband said the ONLY public tantrum he had to deal with his daughter at age three was quickly resolved by him kneeling down next to her and saying, “All these people are looking at you acting this way. They’re not looking at me.”. That shut her up pretty quickly and she didn’t try it again.
Quite wise, yet that could put you on a watch list in some places with the increasing laws against leaving any child unattended: http://www.freerangekids.com/laws/
Yes, a wise mom knows the difference btwn real need and just often wanting needless attention. Give into the latter and you raise a liberal.
Hyperbole, but it is not good that your wife is not in union with you on this, and represents the liberal party.
Cruz would have told his father that Mom was dropping out of the parenting race, and that Teddie should get his way...
My son NEVER behaved like that in public. My husband claims that I slapped his hand the first time he ever tried... I do not recall doing that. Whatever I did was effective.
I went to the store once and a woman was trying to get her son to behave by talking to him and saying “That’s not how we behave in public.” The more he acted up, the more she talked. In other words, she was effectively rewarding him for the misbehavior.
People who allow their kids to misbehave in public really irk me.
I don’t believe in “free range” children. My children were closely supervised. That was just one unique incident where I was around the corner watching. He just did not see me for a second.
I met one of these free range mothers at a dinner party one time. What a true wacko! She sent her young daughter to play in an alley out back, populated by homeless men and thought she was so cool. I about took her head off.
Posting links does not mean i support all or any of what the site also believes, but i did have a list of the state laws relevant to the issue. And the age obviously is the major factor, and there is a balance btwn helicopter parents and teaching siblings to watch over the younger ones, and to be self-sufficient. Back in colonial days, they was more discipline as well as learning to be self-sufficient (in dependence upon God), and i think by age 13 they were probably out hunting by themselves, and overall matured in mind much quicker than kids today. Large families helped. Though the average age of the signers of the Declaration of Independence was 44, more than a dozen of them were 35 or younger.
Back in early America, people raised their children with a solid Christian ethical and moral framework at home and in society. Today the opposite is true. Your children can easily become victims of this society if you are not paying attention. At the same time, you have to teach them to be independent and think independently and responsibly.
Helicopter parenting...it’s hard to know if liberals are not just trying to pry a tight middle class family apart by making fun of parents who step in to make them stop abusing children in public and social institutions. Liberals want to social engineer families so they are in the image of the worst ghetto rat to make things “equal” and to do as they will with the bodies and minds of young people and children who have been abandoned to their power.
Yes, by helicopter parenting i did not mean keeping an tabs on your kids, visibly as younger, with discernment and a strong sense of protection but such things as over protecting them so that they are too shielded from life, with no unstructured interaction with their peers or seeing how their parents interact well with strangers and unfamiliar environments, etc. and instead becoming like paranoid liberal elitist parents. Related article. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3394037/posts
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