Posted on 01/02/2016 7:55:14 AM PST by reaganaut1
My sister has been dating her boyfriend for two years. They live together and seem mostly happy. And I am happy for them, except for one thing: I am about 99 percent sure he is gay. Now, I have no problem with homosexuality, but you can understand my concern. Also, I am not the only one who thinks this. Several male friends have told me that he has tried to kiss other men or grab their crotches. I would like to bring this up with my sister. How should I do it?
Michelle, New York
Request denied! Before you say anything hurtful to your sister, let's take a peek at some of the (homophobic-adjacent) assumptions that you've made on your (probably well-intentioned) road to judgment. Your 99 percent certainty rests on unknown evidence. (Spare me your gaydar.) But I am willing to bet that much of it involves silly stereotypes about masculinity. Is the boyfriend effeminate? Does he follow fashion or musical theater? News flash: He can still be straight.
More problematic is the "gay panic" of your male friends, whose gossipy stories may rely on secondhand reports from still other men. Not so reliable. What's more, I don't buy it. Gay men and lesbians have long been, and often still are, a persecuted minority. (Have you seen the excellent film "Carol" yet?) The idea that a gay man could blithely and repeatedly "grab the crotches" of his straight cohorts is absurd. There would be consequences.
But even if all these allegations are true, who are we to substitute our judgment for your sister's? You say she is happy with this man after living with him for two years, plenty of time to decide for herself whether she is. Every relationship is different; some are more sexual than others.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
“Another clue that your sisterâs boyfriend is queer: He reads the NYT.”
You win the internet my FRiend LOL. Whenever my sisters bring their BF’s around, we brothers have a litmus test and find out if they’re douchebags. Fags are another thing..
Does he fawn over Obama?
Does he think Hillary is awesome?
Then he is a full blown, wrist flapping, vaseline loving, homo gay boy.
Where did it say they were getting married? They’re just living in sin. Hence another problem for them.
Perfect.
If he’s trying to kiss or grab the crotches of other men he’s gay or bi and sister probably already knows and for whatever reason is okay with it.
However, it’s your sister, if you can’t talk to her about it, something is wrong.
This advice person is an idiot. Tell her your concerns and the evidence.
Don’t want to see her wind up raising 2 kidskin e because he finally decided to come out years from now.
Queers like to ignore and hide the reality of their diseases caused by their deviant lifestyles.
then act accordingly
She is in danger of getting one of the many diseases homosexual men are infected with.
Seems no one knows this but it is very true.
Um, if they’re not having sex, how are they living in sin? The worry for sis should be AFTER they marry ... if he’s a queer he can ‘bring things home to the wife’.
Your country has a real president? You're lucky. My country is stuck under a hateful and bigoted usurper who has occupied our White House and ruled over our executive branch for nearly seven terrible years. I'm eagerly looking forward to the day, just 55 weeks from now, when my country will once again have a president, and hopefully the rule of law too!
normal people treat the âout of the closetâ as dead.
I don’t hide the fact that I disagree with the behavior but I try to demonstrate God’s love.
One young lady who “identified” as bisexual had been commenting about how “Christians are full of hate.” I asked her if she thought my wife and I hated her. She seemed confused and I mentioned my wife and I were Christians and I believed we always treated her with love and kindness.
Later she came to me and told me we seem to be what Christians say they’re supposed to be.
Men on the down-low: women haters.
Lol!
First, this person with the disordered sexuality is already at a disadvantage when it comes to having normal relationships with anyone, male or female. A decent relationship with a normal family member may remind them of how attractive "normal" is, and may hopefully prevent them from seeking the false consolations of an exclusively "gay" "community".
Second, there are all kinds of people among our families and friends who have some level of sexual disorder. There are people who live with their "fiances," there are contraceptors, there are the divorced-remarried (non-concurrent polygamy), etc. etc. If you justly applied the rule of treating those who fall short of sexual virtue as "dead," you might as well have your family get-togethers in a mausoleum. You might as well be in a casket yourself.
This does not mean that you go all "I'm OK/You're OK" on them, as if you accepted the serious degree of disorder in their lives as the "new normal". That's bogus. You can be decent to people without any approval--- at all --- for their faults and sins.
I find the following axiom is true in my own life:
Satan knows your name, but calls you by your sin.
God knows your sin, but calls you by your name.
Has it occurred to anyone that the NYT may be writing “letters” to itself so that it can provide instruction to the proles?
Is the boyfriend effeminate? Does he follow fashion or musical theater? News flash: He can still be straight.
No way in hell.. anyone who abides by the above is flaming.
Reply: Michelle, I understand your concern but it’s important to determine if he actually is a homosexual before you say anything. Let me ask you, does he work for the New York Times?
I aint reel smart (I live in the South) but it pears to me if a guy grabs another guy’s crotch and tries to kiss him, he’s showing gay tendencies . .
“But even if all these allegations are true, who are we to substitute our judgment for your sister’s? You say she is happy with this man after living with him for two years, plenty of time to decide for herself whether she is. Every relationship is different”
Uh, Christoph, would it make any difference if there was substantial evidence that the boyfriend was a serial conman who preys on females, a pedophile, or a serial killer? Would it be OK to substitute our judgement in those cases even though she’s apparently happy and has had plenty of time to decide for herself?
Or is it just we’re not allowed to help our sister if her boyfriend is a homosexual?
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