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Report: Man Uses Raccoon To Start Breathalyzer Equipped Car; Raccoon Then Attacks Driver
http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/09/30/man-uses-raccoon-to-start-breathalyzer-equipped-car-raccoon-then-attacks-driver/ ^
| Sep 30, 2015
| Evan Jankens
Posted on 09/30/2015 3:34:09 PM PDT by Ray76
A man who needed to blow into a Breathalyzer to start his car was too drunk to do so, according to a report. According to what appears to be a police report posted on Imgur, this guy somehow found a raccoon going through the garbage, captured it and then used the raccoon to blow into the Breathalyzer. the raccoon became unconscious so the man left the raccoon in the car and drove off. A short time after, the raccoon woke up and started to attack the driver.
(Excerpt) Read more at detroit.cbslocal.com ...
TOPICS: Weird Stuff
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I heard this on the radio news, this is what I could find online. I don't know if it's true but if it isn't I'll give them an "A" for creativity!
1
posted on
09/30/2015 3:34:09 PM PDT
by
Ray76
To: Ray76
Nominee for Darwin Award — but not even close to stupid enuf to actually win that award.
2
posted on
09/30/2015 3:36:44 PM PDT
by
USNA74
To: Ray76
To: Ray76
As a recovering alcoholic, I can tell you that drunks, when it comes to being drunk, are absolute geniuses.
4
posted on
09/30/2015 3:36:57 PM PDT
by
Fido969
To: Ray76
To: Ray76
Things would have been fine if...
the raccoon hadn't been drinking too!
6
posted on
09/30/2015 3:40:05 PM PDT
by
Responsibility2nd
(With Great Freedom comes Great Responsibility)
To: Ray76
But seriously, who hasn’t tried this?
To: Ray76
Sounds like a Foster Brooks story
To: Ray76
9
posted on
09/30/2015 3:41:51 PM PDT
by
Timber Rattler
(Just say NO! to RINOS and the GOP-E)
To: Bruce Kurtz
Well that’s some good news!
“A” for creativity though. The guy on the radio had it that the critter was squeezed like a bagpipe and then it passed out. The story was so ridiculous it made for some laughs on the ride home!
10
posted on
09/30/2015 3:44:59 PM PDT
by
Ray76
To: Ray76
11
posted on
09/30/2015 4:01:10 PM PDT
by
tumblindice
(America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives.)
To: Ray76
Never use a coon as a designated breather.
Consider it a lesson learned.
To: Ray76
Thanks for posting. I haven’t laughed this hard in a coon’s age!
13
posted on
09/30/2015 4:09:24 PM PDT
by
Cyman
(We have to pass it to see what's in it= definition of stool sample)
To: Ray76
Just when you thought you’d heard it all.
14
posted on
09/30/2015 4:10:22 PM PDT
by
MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
(Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
To: Ray76
Coons don’t attack people; they beg from people.
They’re all born Democrats.
15
posted on
09/30/2015 4:13:56 PM PDT
by
editor-surveyor
(Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
To: Ray76
Capture a wild racoon and force it to breathe into a breathalyzer? Yah right. This story is not even remotely believable. Maybe after a few drinks though......
16
posted on
09/30/2015 4:15:09 PM PDT
by
HerrBlucher
(Abortion is murder)
To: Ray76
Raccoons can be ferocious little shits I’ve seen one beat the hell out of a full grown male Rottweiler pretty easily and shred him up pretty bad
To: Timber Rattler
.
Everyone knows that buying a helium balloon is way easier than catching a raccoon.
18
posted on
09/30/2015 4:17:09 PM PDT
by
editor-surveyor
(Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
To: Ray76
"Shoulda just asked me to drive, man!"
19
posted on
09/30/2015 4:17:53 PM PDT
by
COBOL2Java
(I'll vote for Jeb when Terri Schiavo endorses him.)
To: COBOL2Java
20
posted on
09/30/2015 4:19:41 PM PDT
by
Ray76
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