Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Bidding My College-Bound Son Good Riddance
Pacific Standard PSMag.com ^ | 9/9/15 | Ronnie Cohen

Posted on 09/19/2015 9:42:38 PM PDT by Huntress

My son, Cory, will leave our Northern California home to start college back East in the fall, prompting other mothers to offer condolences about my soon-to-be-empty nest. Though they expect me to break into tears, my overriding emotion when my youngest departs will be relief. I will finally be freed from the constant scrutiny of the ever-vigilant eco-warrior I raised.

I can do nothing right in my teenage son’s eyes. He grills me about the distance traveled of each piece of fruit and every vegetable I purchase. He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve. He questions my every move—from how I choose a car (why not electric?) and a couch (why synthetic fill?) to how I tend the garden (why waste water on flowers?)—an unremitting interrogation of my impact on our desecrated environment. While other parents hide alcohol and pharmaceuticals from their teens, I hide plastic containers and paper towels.

I feel like I’ve become the adolescent, sneaking around to avoid my offspring’s scrutiny and lectures. Only when Cory leaves the house do I dare clean the refrigerator of foul-smelling evidence of my careless waste—wilted greens, rotten avocados, moldy leftovers. When he goes out to dinner, I smuggle in a piece of halibut or sturgeon, fish the stocks of which, he tells me, are dangerously depleted. Even worse, I sometimes prepare beef—a drain on precious water, my son assures me, and a heavy contributor to greenhouse-gas emissions. While other parents hide alcohol and pharmaceuticals from their teens, I hide plastic containers and paper towels.

What a relief I will feel to be out from under the fiery gaze of my personal sustainability meter-reader!

Although I did not mean to raise a Mr. Sustainability, it must be admitted that I set him on the path. I tried to instill the imperative of tikkun olam, Hebrew for “repairing the world.” When Cory was eight, we served the homeless in a local soup kitchen. In middle school, he played guitar for retirement-home residents. In high school, he spent a June morning pulling weeds from a riverbed and all summer nursing a poison oak rash covering his arms and legs—an irritant not unlike the imprecations of an environmentally zealous son.

I admit that when he displayed a propensity for science, I could not suppress the Jewish mother in me and tried to convince my boy that he could best help people by becoming a doctor. But I never meant to guilt-trip him into thinking he had to save the whole entire planet—and certainly not from people like me.

I began to sow the seeds when I decided to buy organic food. I figured it was healthier, and I wanted to do my tiny part to stop contaminating our soil and groundwater with toxic chemicals. I explained this to Cory as he sat in his high chair while I fed him Earth’s Best organic pears from a 2.5-ounce jar. We were listening to Raffi sing “Evergreen, Everblue” as he implored us to “help this planet Earth.” “At this point in time,” he sang, “it’s up to me, it’s up to you.”

Raffi’s pleas blended with similar entreaties in Dr. Seuss’ the Lorax. The shortish, brownish, oldish, and mossy Lorax spoke for the trees, the Truffula trees on the brink of extinction, exhorting my son to take action. “UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better,” I read to Cory. “It’s not.”

We discussed the book’s lessons on our strolls down the Whole Foods aisles. As I pushed him in the shopping cart, I explained that we would buy the green apples because they were organic and not the red ones because they were grown conventionally, with bad bug-killing chemicals.

The first hint that my indoctrination was working came when Cory was 12. We were in Costa Rica, about to hike through the rainforest, and he refused to apply bug repellent. Despite my dozen monologues about mosquitoes carrying deadly diseases, he declined the oily liquid. As payback for my antipathy toward all things chemical, my boy spiked a 103-degree temperature and briefly appeared on the brink of death from dengue fever.

I wasn’t the only one talking to Cory about our ailing planet. His paternal grandmother was so worried about climate change that one summer when the family gathered in Cape Cod, she gave us each a single beige cloth napkin and said it would have to suffice for the entire week.

I am reminded of the napkin incident when my son wipes his oily, pizza-stained hands on his jeans or an upholstered dining room chair, or when he leaves a sticky trail of locally grown organic orange drippings from the kitchen to the dining room because he wants to save a napkin.

I have stopped buying oranges.

I was happily raising an environmentally conscious boy until he began high school. Then he studied marine biology, joined a club that monitored the health of a coastal reef by counting sea creatures, and met his best friend forever.

Cory’s BFF (my term, not Cory’s) had already taken on the role of eco-warrior. He worked on a successful campaign to ban plastic bags in our town—Fairfax, California, that hippie haven—and lobbied against GMOs. He drove an electric car; once, when my son was a passenger, it ran out of charge on a rural road eight miles from home. (I had to go pick him up.)

Cory and his BFF built a self-sustaining aquaponic garden to raise vegetables and fish for their high school cafeteria. They were more interested in protests than parties and attended a compostable toilet-making workshop instead of a dance.

I knew Cory had met his match when the BFF came for dinner (vegetarian, naturally), emerged from the bathroom with his hands dripping, and declined a towel. Neither paper nor cloth would be necessary, he insisted, while I watched the water from his hands trickle onto my hardwood floor. Like an untrained puppy, he appeared blind to the puddles he left in his wake as I followed behind him mopping at his heels.

Once Cory’s BFF began exerting his influence, my son started to see me as the armchair environmentalist I am, happy to hang a “Pesticide-Free Zone” sign with a ladybug on my front porch but reluctant to give up meat, fossil fuels, or hair dye. “Why did you buy asparagus when it’s out of season and grown in Mexico?” he asks, brandishing a limp spear. “It’s not even really asparagus.”

Cory and his BFF joined 350.org, a group so named because scientists believe that to preserve a livable planet we must cut carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to 350 parts per million (from 400). During his senior year in high school, Cory planned to join a demonstration against the proposed Keystone XL pipeline and trespass on Chevron property.

That meant getting arrested.

Landing in jail at 17 years old presented a few problems, most notably that Cory—who weighed 100 pounds and whose bespectacled face remained as hairless as it was the day he was born—would be easy prey for Juvenile Hall bullies. A lawyer working with the protesters convinced Cory to wait until he at least turned 18 so he could go to jail with the rest of the adult protesters.

Having dodged dengue fever and juvie, Cory came up with a new idea. He wanted to attach handwritten GMO labels to fruit and vegetables at Safeway.

“You could be arrested for vandalism,” I cried.

“So?” he responded, shrugging his shoulders.

“You could wind up really having to do time.”

“So?”

In a desperate bid for comic relief, I took Cory and his BFF to see the Book of Mormon in San Francisco. At intermission, I purchased a plastic bottle of Crystal Geyser water. As I plunked down my $3.50, it dawned on me that I might be making a dreadful mistake. When I returned to my seat, my son looked down his nose at the half-filled bottle, crossed his arms over his chest and one leg over the other, then swiveled his body and his legs away from me. He remained in that position for the entire second act.

As we left the theater, he nudged the empty water bottle with his fist and asked, “Why did you buy that?”

“I was really, really, really thirsty,” I whispered.

Soon after, Cory revealed plans for a home remodeling project. On our front porch, he wanted to do something called “peeponics.”

Once he explained that it involved storing our household urine as fertilizer, I was too upset to be able to hear more.

"There will be no pee-saving in this house," I exclaimed.

"NO,” my son retorted. “I'm doing peeponics!"

"You're going to put your pee on my porch?” I asked.

"You can use it to fertilize your garden,” he replied calmly.

"You want to pee on my garden?"

"You bought a plastic water bottle in front of my friend.”

He’s right. I should not drink from plastic bottles. I should lower my thermostat in the winter, drive less, buy less, and pay more attention to the consequences of my materialism. But contemplating the world from my son’s perspective is exhausting, and I will breathe the air of a free woman once he dislodges himself from my porch.

It’s no surprise Cory feels the weight of the planet’s future on his shoulders. He answered the call from Raffi, the Lorax, and his grandmother. Now he is calling on me and my generation—Baby Boomers who thought we could fix the mess we helped create by doing little more than buying a Prius‚ to seriously examine the way we live.

As he goes off to college to learn how best to contribute to turning around climate change, I am proud of him, worried about him, and, in so many ways, I am going to miss him.

I brace myself for his departure as I would for the end of a hard-to-put-down book. I dawdle over the final pages and re-visit favorite passages. My infant boy falls asleep cradled in my arms; he stands on a kitchen step-stool and mixes together pancake batter; he plays guitar and sings a protest song on a concert stage.

The next time Cory takes the stage he’ll be 3,000 miles away. When I think about the distance, a desert of grief leaves me aching to connect with my baby. Then I find him in the kitchen inspecting recently purchased produce. “Why did you buy asparagus when it’s out of season and grown in Mexico?” he asks, brandishing a limp spear. “It’s not even really asparagus.”


TOPICS: Education; Society
KEYWORDS: parenting
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-107 next last
To: super7man

Good story!

We were at a restaurant one night with our niece and a friend of hers. The friend announced to the waiter and the whole restaurant really that “ she would not be ordering a steak that night because she was saving the rain forest” .

She was so proud of herself and we were so embarrassed for her!


61 posted on 09/20/2015 7:36:54 AM PDT by Ditter ( God Bless Texas!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: sakic
...the notion that we can spew as many toxins into the air and water as we want, and believe that Mother Nature will protect us, is equally nuts.

Who is there, in reality, who ascribes to that notion? You may be falling into the leftist trap that any deviation from their preferred policies of tofu, wind and solar is evil.

Those who knowingly "spew toxins" are simply the amoral, who just don't care, 'cause they'll be dead anyway when it comes back to bite us.

62 posted on 09/20/2015 7:47:08 AM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: .45 Long Colt

What is TULIP-believing?


63 posted on 09/20/2015 8:50:19 AM PDT by Huntress ("Politicians exploit economic illiteracy." --Walter Williams)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Jane Long

I don’t know. I saw it linked on Legal Insuurection.


64 posted on 09/20/2015 8:52:38 AM PDT by Huntress ("Politicians exploit economic illiteracy." --Walter Williams)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]

To: miss marmelstein

I’m not sure what it is but liberal whites in general do it

I just first noticed it with Jews


65 posted on 09/20/2015 9:30:36 AM PDT by wardaddy ("The Reset Will Not Be Televised".....Gil Scott Wardaddy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: sakic

It went way beyond that

Women have liberalized the culture more than any other facet since then especially they diverged from their husbands vote in the 50s

They especially fell for the homosexuals and obviously feminism

In a harsher environment like the 1700s and 1800s I can sure see why women should have had less power

Their power grew out of urbanization

I don’t women in general tolerate stress same as men etc

It never was men keeping women down but rather protecting and having them where it worked best for the culture and family

Women thrown to their own unless rich had a rough time

It’s still that way to a degree contrary to conventional wisdom


66 posted on 09/20/2015 9:37:30 AM PDT by wardaddy ("The Reset Will Not Be Televised".....Gil Scott Wardaddy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: Huntress
That means we believe like almost all Baptists believed up until about a hundreds years ago--we believe in God's sovereignty in all things, including salvation. Another way to say it is we are Calvinists. Another way to say it is we believe in free and sovereign grace.

TULIP is the acronym that has arisen as a shorthand way to refer to the five major points of Calvinism, but it's an acronym that can be misleading if not properly understood.

T = Total Depravity

U = Unconditional election

L = Limited Atonement

I = Irresistible grace

P = Perseverance of the saints

Ephesians 1:3-14 (ESV) 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory

67 posted on 09/20/2015 9:39:02 AM PDT by .45 Long Colt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: Buttons12

You’re post interests me in that you are describing pretty much the guy who Chris Christie told to sit down and shut up a year or so ago. That guy, who I knew personally, was the biggest, loudest self-satisfied liberal Catholic I have ever met!


68 posted on 09/20/2015 9:51:18 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard the Third: I'd like to drive away not only the Turks (moslims) but all my foes.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 56 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

The nut didn’t fall far from the tree.


69 posted on 09/20/2015 10:09:57 AM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

What a child abuser!


70 posted on 09/20/2015 3:17:50 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JimRed

Those who believe there should be no outside regulation at all on corporations must ascribe to the belief that endless toxins are okay or they are insanely trusting.


71 posted on 09/21/2015 1:03:15 PM PDT by sakic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: wardaddy

I believe women tolerate stress better than men.


72 posted on 09/21/2015 1:04:36 PM PDT by sakic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: sakic

Who believes that? It is when regulation starts to interfere so much that everything costs more and fewer innovations are made that I get upset. I’ll be the first one to turn in Mr. corporate Polluter if I catch him at it!

Then there’s that terrible greenhouse toxin...CO2... < /sarc >


73 posted on 09/21/2015 2:35:51 PM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 71 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

Lady, you think your son’s bad now? Wait till college gets its hooks into him.


74 posted on 09/21/2015 2:53:14 PM PDT by Rainbow Rising ("If America was a house, the left would root for the termites." - Greg Gutfeld)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sakic

Then you are one dumbass


75 posted on 09/21/2015 3:18:00 PM PDT by wardaddy ("The Reset Will Not Be Televised".....Gil Scott Wardaddy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

read later!


76 posted on 09/21/2015 3:20:02 PM PDT by moehoward
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wardaddy

Jewish, or not, this kid sounds like too many west coast kids who received a very leftist education. I wonder where his daddy was while the kid was getting this “education”?

To the kid’s credit, at least he doesn’t sound like an eco terrorist.


77 posted on 09/21/2015 7:20:49 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Crazy, wacko bird hobbit, and proud of it!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Huntress
What is a "Raffi"?

Is it a song you sing as you are floating down the Mississippi on a boat made of logs?

78 posted on 09/21/2015 7:30:18 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JimRed

No one here believes that?

Really.


79 posted on 09/22/2015 3:26:48 AM PDT by sakic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: sakic
Those who believe there should be no outside regulation at all on corporations must ascribe to the belief that endless toxins are okay or they are insanely trusting.

Who believes that? (Note question mark.)

It left the door open for you to quote FReeper so-and-so or FReeper thus-and-such who opposes ALL regulations. You did not do so.

No one here believes that?

Really.

Reading comprehension is your friend. I ASKED who believes that; I did not state that no one here believes it, though it may well be the case.

There are amoral people who will try anything they think they can get away with. I like to think that you will find darned few of them here, unless they are trolls.

80 posted on 09/22/2015 9:50:09 AM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 79 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-107 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson