Recipe Saturday!

7/11/15 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

Not many people know this, but I am a stellar cook. I shall share my signature recipes today!

• TOSSED SALAD
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. Place one leaf of iceberg lettuce on top. Serves one.

• CAESAR SALAD
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. Place one leaf of iceberg lettuce on top. Mention that you think Ancient Rome is interesting. Serves one.

• LAZ'S COFFEE
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. Into one cup of steaming water, stir one teaspoon of instant coffee crystals. Discard the coffee. Serves one.

• HAMBURGER-BACON SUPRISE
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. Purchase one hamburger from McDonalds. Discard the burger. Serves one.

• CREAMY MILKSHAKE
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. In a small cup, place one tablespoon of milk. Stir. Discard the milk. Serves one.

• STEAK TARTAR
  Fry up 3 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on a plate. Mention to someone that you have no idea what 'tartar' means. Serves one.

• BACON-Y BACON SURPRISE WITH BACON
  Fry up 12 lbs of bacon in a pan. Drain the grease, place on four plates. Serves one.

[Twinkie]

What’s with all this “drain the bacon” nonsense?

[Twinkie]

I mean what’s with all this “drain the grease” nonsense? That’s the best part!

[bigbob]

I’ll have a tossed salad. Hold the lettuce.