Posted on 05/31/2015 7:49:46 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine
. . . and he/she happens to have heard of that joke before, what can he/she do? I imagine it's a bad idea for him/her to call BS and refuse to follow the order, right?
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When my mom worked rotation on OR as a new nurse, she was often sent on errands like "bring back a sterilized fallopian tube." Once she figured out what was going on, she took it as permission to take a coffee break.
Then she got sent out to get a pair of left-handed trauma scissors. So, she went and got coffee. After a few minutes, the circulating nurse came looking for her. Where were the scissors? You mean there's such a thing as left-handed trauma scissors?! Mom would have been in deep trouble, except the circulating nurse glared at the surgeon and told him he was the one who started it, so he'd better suck it up and behave.
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My dad was oiling on a ship when the wiper asked the Third assistant "What is this" pointing to the key to the kilson. (the wrench for removing the nut holding the screw on the propeller shaft.) The third told him it is the Key to the kilson. The wiper asked him where he should put it. The third tole him " ah just take up to the bridge."
The wipper thought what the heck and began to end over end the wrench, they are 5 to 6 feet long. When he got it up to the flying bridge and it hit the deck with a bang the Third Mate turn and asked "what is that." The wiper answered the key to the kilson, where do you want me to put it. The third mates answered just throw the dam thing overboard. The wiper did.
End result. Wiper fired, Third Assistant Engineer and Third Mate had their liciences permanently revoked by the commerce department.
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In the navy, one might be asked to retrieve batteries for the ship’s sound-powered phones.
Also if the ship were passing 0 degrees latitude, first-timers might be invited to report topside if they wished to see the equator.
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One friend of mine, a navy guy, was sent to get a bucket of steam. Six hours later, he came back with a bucket with a lump of dry ice and some water.
Another friend, an Air Force guy, told me the AF fool's errand was to send a rookie to get an ASH receiver. That's the federal stock name for an ashtray with a sliding cover and spring-loaded mount to the plane's wall.
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When I was in the Army Reserve we had private fresh out of training. We were testing some new radios we had recently received when the E-4 we were working with told the private to go back to the commo cage and get a can of squelch. About 10 minutes later he comes running out with a can marked "squelch." We had done this in the past and our sergeant was prepared for us--he wrapped a piece of paper around a can of air and wrote "squelch" on it. Not wanting to lose face we took the can, sprayed some air on the connector on the back of the radio and moved on.
Fast forward 2 months. We're out on our summer training and a captain pulls up with a bad radio. The same E-2 looks it over and says, "Oh, that just needs a can of squelch," and runs off. Good times did not follow.
In fairness to the private, he was trained as a teletype operator, not on voice communications.
One of the funniest stories I ever heard was from a guy I knew who had enlisted in the Navy, and was sent to look for prop wash on the day they had to wash the helicopters.
He almost got taken in, but some joker said “and while you’re there, get 50 feet of shoreline”. He knew what “shoreline” was, and then immediately figured out what “propwash” was.
This was not a direct order from his CO.
He went back to his CO and said “they sent me to look for propwash. I don’t think I’m going to find any. If I don’t find any by the end of the day, can I just go home? The CO said “sure”.
He called in from home and told the guys who sent him a story about going hither and yon, and being told “we’re fresh out”, or “I think the guys on the other side of the base have some”, really laid it on thick, and concluded by saying “I don’t think anyone has prop wash. Can I go home?” They let him go home.
They did this a few more times, and he played “Mickey the Dunce” each time. The last time they sent him out in the morning, so he couldn’t go home. Instead he went to the enlisted mens’ club.
The guys who sent him found him in there at lunch time shooting pool. They asked him what he was doing. He said “looking for propwash. I looked everywhere else, I thought they might have some here, but they don’t.”
The guy shooting pool with him said “Yeah, last time he was in here looking for it, they didn’t have any either.”
He said after that they stopped treating him like “the new guy”.
That’s like being ordered to fire at Will!
Which one’s Will?
No they’re not. They’re part of bringing somebody into the crew. Hazing is a vital part of team building. Back in my fastfood days we’d send people for the left handed ice scoop and the vat cover. Then there’d be laughter, and eventually they’d send somebody on a fool’s errand.
Don’t forget getting the newbies in the Navy up on deck to look in the box to see the “Seabat”..
Friend of mine in the Air Force (years ago), used to send newbies out for a can of “cloud eradicator” so they could take photos from the plane, put the “eradicator” on it so they could see through the clouds..
We used to put newbies on the bow of the ship and tell them to look for the mail buoy..
Good times..
And do not forget to go get 50 feet of waterline! Oh, and get some relative bearing grease, too! ;-)
What is a “seabat” supposed to be?
My guess is that a seabat is a bit like a henway.
AWOL Private Returns After Seven Years With Box Of Grid Squares
What’s a henway?
I take it your dad was in the merchant marine?
I was an ordinary seaman on a Great Lakes iron ore carrier and I remember the chief engineer sent me on a twenty minute trip looking for sky hooks.
That poor wiper-he should never have been fired for following what he thought were legitimate orders of the third assistant engineer and the third mate.
“Such jokes are a betrayal of trust.”
And, I believe, the subsequent comment was usually “Screw’em if they can’t take a joke.”
We had the glass staple gun
Oh, about 3 or 4 pounds. :)
When I was new in the Army and got to my first duty station, I was sent by my sergeant t get a form T-R-Double-E from the Commo office. I went, and the only one on the office was the 1LT in charge. I asked him for it and got the words about halfway out when I realized I’d been had.
The Lieutenant just smiled and went back to work.
I cut it off three times and it’s still too short.....
Radiator caps for Teslas are a special order. Please fill out form ID 10 T.
Maternal grandfather was!
uh....my wife HAS a left handed ice cream scooper.
blade edge is on the right.
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