Good grief, why would a man or a woman choose to be around such miserable company as to feel that preparing food for a loved one is demeaning. Many consider me to be an outstanding chef when I cook and there is no greater reward than to see someone enjoy a dish you prepared especially for them.
My wife would say to the other lady, “No...let him get it, himself.”
By then however, I would have been moving to do it myself, while saying “I am fine, I’ll get it myself.”
Especially in public, I am in harmony with my wife of 47 years, and she with me. We don’t embarrass each other or ourselves. To do so would be disrespectful, and trashy low-life-like.
If you have been married for any length of time, and would engage in childlike games with the other woman, get ready for results you may not like.
People like her want to stir up trouble, so they can be in the middle of it.
“but you are not the kind of woman to go around fixing plates for a man, so you ignore him.”
Glad I’m not a broad, sheesh. I can do what ever I want. BBQ last weekend. Food went up. Grabbed two plates and piled them up. Big friggin’ deal.
There’s a woman’s car with a flat tar. Her man don’t wanna change it. No reason she can’t change that tar. Another man offers to change that tar. Now there’s a new buddy. Plus it frees her up to go fix your plate.
I would rather ham a really good samwich.
Hopefully not in that order.
“Soooo you are at a barbecue.
There are a number of disturbing phrases in this narrative.
“...so you ignore him” - You don’t EVER ignore your spouse. Especially at a public gathering.
“...fully functional grown man acting incapable...” - Was he acting incapable or was this one of those eye-rolling assumptions that feminist women embrace?
“...something as intimate as fix his plate?” - If fixing “your man’s” plate is considered ‘intimate’, all the more reason that she should have at least ASKED if she could perform the service.
Otherwise, that “crazy” woman...you can guess the rest.
I’ll admit that my relationship experience comes more from watching other people’s mistakes than from any personal experience of my own, but I’ll bite:
If one spouse is involved in something that is taking enough time or attention that they can’t step away, or if they’re in a position that is hard to get up from (i.e. child in lap), or if they are known to have mobility problems, then yes, it is polite for the more able spouse to make sure they get something to eat.
If, on the other hand, both spouses are equally unencumbered, or if (I’ve seen this happen) it is the less-encumbered spouse making demands of the spouse who already has more to do than they can handle, then they can get off their rump and get their own #$@*! plate.
As for the 3rd party intervening, that’s just plain creepy. Although that opinion may be due to having been the recipient of over-the-top excessive hospitality by someone who honestly thought they were just being polite. It’s creepy.
It's easier to do it for him.
My wife and I generally fix our plates together.
Quote from the article:
“Women who fixed plates were anointing themselves better than women who did not.”
Well, why not? Any women who goes to the effort to cook up a mess of good smelling, good looking, and good tasting food for me should get that anointing! It shows she cares!
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you’re leaving me.
Now don’t I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don’t I warn you when you’re gettin fat?
Ain’t I a-gonna take you fishin’ with me someday?
Well, a man can’t love a woman more than that.
Ain’t I always nice to your kid sister?
Don’t I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet ‘cos I like you when you’re sweet,
And you know it ain’t feminine to fight.
So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you’re leaving me.
The 3 F’s A Man Needs
http://paigediamond.com/3-fs/
(some salty language here.)
We’d all jump up to fix Dad’s plate on days mom made fried zucchini or sautéed mushrooms- otherwise he’d fix his own plate and eat them all.
All of this arguing over who fills the guys plate, but not one word about who gets him a friggin beer.
This may be (supposedly) a freer, looser society but it seems people get their panties in a wad over nothing or at least over very little.
Just the other day I was talking to my Puerto Rican housekeeper at the Dry Cleaners and as she was leaving for the market I asked her to go to the hardware store to see what they had for the chink in the fence.
The dry cleaner went ballistic, threw me out and on the way out the door I told the housekeeper to pick up some Spic ‘n Span cleanser and she quit.
I went to the bank and some Japanese guy was trying to exchange yen for greenbacks and I heard him say.
Yesterday you gave me 1 dorrah for 120 yen, today you give 1 dorrah for 135 yen..it isn’t fair. He was flustered and the teller went to get the manager and I said to him.
“Fluctuations. The dollar to yen value fluctuates on a daily basis, that is why the rate changes”
He looked at me and said “Fructuations????? No, FruckyouAmelicans”
At the BBQ joint someone mentioned how the budget was going bad and I just happened to say “All these money handlers are just niggardly”.
Got thrown out of the BBQ joint.
It has definitely been that kind of week
Maybe the problem is, she is not the kind of woman who fixes a man’s plate.
Grown women screan at insect and vermin like if they touchthem it will kill them. And they ask a grown man in the house to come save them.
I think if we just try to get along with eeryone better and not think we’re so above doing things for others, especially those we are supposedly close to, we’d probably be better off.
If he asks politely, make his plate. Because you do kind things for each other. If he grunts or demands, to hell with him.
but you are not the kind of woman to go around fixing plates for a man, so you ignore him.
Why wouldn't you fix a plate for him if he asks ... politely? Couples do things for each other ... when treated kindly. If you're the "I ain't stepping and fetching" kind of woman with an attitude, who would want you?
A random woman hears this and says, ‘I will fix his plate.’ She sashays away and comes back with a plate for your man. Do you have any problems with this?”
She needs to butt the hell out. It's not her place to interfere in someone other couple's marital politics or play the suck-up role.