Satirical Sunday: "Jobs for Jihadists" Applications Flood State Department

Zero Hedgeq ^ | 2-22-15 | DC Clothesline

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Via D.C.Clothesline,

After U.S. State Department Spokeswoman Marie Harf announced that the long-term strategy in the fight against ISIS was to create jobs for potential jihadists, countless terrorists began filling out applications.

Here are a few examples (along with a blank application for potential jihadists on the job hunt)...

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Applications below...

[aMorePerfectUnion]

[aMorePerfectUnion]

[aMorePerfectUnion]

[aMorePerfectUnion]

[RedMDer]

STOP THE TERROR JOB LINE! Bomb Belt tester. Solitary work. No experience preferred. Ballistic Projectile Receiver. Ability to stand still preferred. 72 Virgins Quality Assurance Inspector. 100,000 Open Positions!

STOP THE TERROR JOB LINE! Bomb Belt tester. Solitary work. No experience preferred. Ballistic Projectile Receiver. Ability to stand still preferred. 72 Virgins Quality Assurance Inspector. 100,000 Open Positions!

[PROCON]

LOL, good find!

[jsanders2001]

Thanks for several good laughs.

[MeshugeMikey]

to the ...rescue.....a new twist to Good Old American Entrepreneurship

[Travis McGee]

[Paladin2]

BeHeadstart Program......LOL

[jocon307]

ROFLMAO!!!!! Tell me that people really did this! I love it!

[RedMDer]

LOL!

[left that other site]

Confidential Resume'

Name: Rage Boy (Abdul Abdullah Osama Bin Hussein Kamal)
Age: Yout
Goal: To obtain a Productive and Challenging Position in Your Organization that will benefit both the Company and myself as Perpetually Aggrieved Agitator, a Presenter of Grievances, Historic Revisionist, Histrionic Issue Conceiver, Riot Facilitator, or Self-Activated Incendiary Catalyst.
Education: Abdullah Bulbul Amir Madrassa, Pakistan, Grades 1-12. Secondary Education, Taliban Training Camp #2314, Afghanistan, ISIS University, Iraq.
Additional Qualifications: I am a real "People Person" and would like a position in your HR Department or Perhaps Public Relations.
Refenences upon request.

[oldasrocks]

So now that terrorists are labeled “unemployed” How long before our Dear Leader labels unemployed Americans as terrorists and puts us all in camps?

[oldasrocks]

So now that terrorists are labeled “unemployed” How long before our Dear Leader labels unemployed Americans as terrorists and puts us all in camps?

[nascarnation]

Actually it’s the “employed” Americans that are in danger.
The unemployed Entitlement Army folks are Baraq’s voters.

[left that other site]

You know...that is a distinct possibility.

[doug from upland]

This has been on ebay for 5 days.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Framed-document-State-Dept-JOB-TRAINING-OFFERING-FOR-MEMBERS-OF-ISIS-/221694061125

[RetiredTexasVet]

I’ve heard that the several applications that included a desire for a “Community Organizer” position have been returned as the job has already been filled.