Posted on 02/20/2015 4:56:04 AM PST by Lucky9teen
A man takes a balloon ride at a local country fair. A fierce wind suddenly kicks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside. The man has no idea where he is, so he goes down to five meters above ground and asks a passing wanderer: "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where I am?"
Eyeing the man in the balloon the passer-by says: "You are in a downed red balloon, five meters above ground."
The balloon's unhappy resident replied, "You must be an economist."
"How could you possible know that?" asked the passer-by.
"Because your answer is technically correct but absolutely useless, and the fact is I am still lost".
"Then you must be in the government", said the passer-by.
"That's right! How did you know?"
"You have such a good view from where you are, and yet you don't know where you are and you don't know where you are going. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!"
1. Did you hear how the “Yes We Can” slogan came to be? Well a reporter asked Obama, can you fool the nation in thinking your a moderate, Obama answered, “Yes we Can.” Another reporter asked, can you convince all the reporters to ignore your association with known terrorists? “Yes we can!”. Another reporter asked can you nationalize the banks? “Yes we can”.
2. How many democrats does it take to change a burned out light bulb? None, democrats believe the bulb can’t change if its not a CFL.
3. Why was Obama so mad when he heard about the AIG bonuses? Because so many at AIG got a larger bonus from AIG than he did.
4. How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it! Its now the overseas contingency operation.
5. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we!
6. Actually there was a reporter who asked Obama a really hard question. The question was, does he want his water plain or with a slice of lemon.
7. How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? 5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, and EPA agent in case the blub breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to insure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.
8. How can a person get bailed out by Obama? Is it by 1. being a member of ACORN, 2. contributing to the campaign funds of the democrats, 3. being irresponsible, 4. supporting liberal anti-American causes, 5. all of the above? The answer is 5-all of the above.
9. What does CNN stand for? Communist News Network.
10. What does ABC stand for? All Barack Channel.
11. What does NBC stand for? Now Barack Channel.
12. What's the difference between God and Obama? God doesn’t think He’s Obama.
13. Why won’t Obama release his birth certificate? He hasn’t decided where he was born.
14. The good news about Obamas inauguration was that of the two million people who showed up, only 10 of them had to call off work.
15. What's the difference between Karl Marx and Obama? Nobody knows.
16. How can you tell a Conservative home owner apart from a Democratic home owner? Ask who is paying the Mortgage. The Conservative will point to himself, and the democrat will also point at the conservative.
17. Democrats and liberals always say they are smarter than conservatives. If that is true, then why do democrats always have problems in filling out a ballot. 18 19 20. What do Obama and financial scam artist have in common? They both say “yes we can”, they both give hope, they both take your money, they both will leave you penny-less in the end. 21. What do you call a gathering of terrorists, financial scam artists, tax dodgers, and sexual predators? A democratic convention. 22. How do you scare a democrat? Say your a gainfully employed church going family man.
I didn’t know that Yale offered a BA in Stupid.
LOL!
There are times when it's OK to be a Kalifornian...low 80's all week here in the desert.
I am about 50 miles south and 100 miles west and I agree.
Great compilation - he is seriously creepy. Back in the forties, they’d call him a masher.
Two states in middle America:
Illinois & Oklahoma:
I thought these two states, made for an interesting contrast. The first part about Illinois and the second part is about Oklahoma!
PART 1 - Illinois
“A State with No Republicans”!
Some interesting data on the ‘state’ of, the State of Illinois... There are more people on welfare in Illinois than there are people working. Chicago pays the highest wages to teachers than anywhere else in the U.S. Their average pay is $110,000/year. Their pensions average 80-90% of their income. Wow, are Illinois and Chicago great or what? Be sure to read till the end. I’ve never heard it explained better. Perhaps the U.S. should pull out of Chicago ?
Body count:
In the last six months, 292 killed (murdered) in Chicago .
221 killed in Iraq ; AND Chicago has one of the strictest gun laws in the entire US.
Here’s the Chicago chain of command:
President: Barack Hussein Obama .
Senator: Dick Durbin .
House Representative: Jesse Jackson Jr. (now in prison)
Governor: Pat Quinn .
House leader: Mike Madigan .
Atty. Gen.: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike) .
Mayor: Rahm Emanuel .
The leadership in Illinois - all Democrats. .
Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago . .
Of course, they’re all blaming each other. .
Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! .
Let us get ALL the facts out while we are at it:
Chicago school system rated one of the worst in the country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!
State pension fund $78 Billion in debt, worst in country.
Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!
Cook County ( Chicago ) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!
This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois. And he is going to ‘fix’Washington politics for us?
George Ryan is no longer Governor, he is in prison.
He was replaced by Rob Blagojevich who is, by the way, also in prison.
And Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. resigned and, that’s right, he and his wife are both in prison.
The Land of Lincoln, where our Governors and Representatives make our license plates. What?
As long as they keep providing entitlements to the population of Chicago, nothing is going to change, except the state will go bankrupt before the country does.
“Anybody who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”
PART 2- Oklahoma
OKLAHOMA- may soon have plenty of new residents!
THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING, AND TRUE... PLEASE READ IT!
Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election... While everyone is focusing on Arizona ‘s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!
An update from Oklahoma:
Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9 an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values... HB 1330
Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrantsand ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB1804. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.
Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegal’s to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional SB1102.
Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Several weeks ago, Oklahoma passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining, Texas , Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.
More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, the Carolinas, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi and Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once
again. HJR 1003
The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I’m sure that was a setback for the criminals The Liberals didn’t like it- -
But...
Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Just this month, the state has voted and passed a law that ALL drivers’ license exams will be printed in English and only English and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of the road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma , you must read and write English. Really simple
Thats great!
I’m late for the final silliness thread! We won’t allow a society that mocks those innocent muuslims! Thank goodness for the FCC regs that will be effective for next week!
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