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Why Women Are Rejecting “Perfect” Men
ironshrink.com ^ | September 18, 2014 | Shawn T Smith, Psy D

Posted on 02/07/2015 8:01:13 PM PST by ransomnote

A few weeks ago, psychologist Randi Gunther discussed the fact that women still initiate the majority of divorces, even after men dutifully followed women into the new millennium.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We men learned how to change diapers and cook risotto. We learned to watch for barely perceptible nods of approval before opening doors for women. We even learned to manscape, for goodness sake.

Women were supposed to be happy with the new variety of men. Yet they are divorcing us just like they divorced our insensitive forefathers. Professor Gad Saad reported that American woman initiate 69% of divorces; the most recent British statistic is 72%.

Dr. Gunther, who specializes in repairing relationships, described some of the unhappily divorced men she meets in her office:

“I am currently dealing with several of these great husbands. They are, across the board, respectful, quality, caring, devoted, cherishing, authentic, and supportive guys whose wives have left them for a different kind of man.”

Who is this “different kind of man,” and why do women quit their marriages to pursue him? Dr. Gunther continues:

“The women I have treated who have left their husbands for more ‘masculine’ men believed that their new relationships would be able to both excite and nurture them.”

Clearly, this new stud is virile. He’s exciting. He possesses something that the “perfect” husband does not.

Dr. Gunther didn’t say it, but I will: it sounds as if many of today’s perfect, sensitive, cherishing men are… how shall I put this… boring.

Who can blame women for being bored with men these days? Far too many of us have lost our masculine fortitude. That fortitude has nothing to do with being dominant or avoiding vacuum cleaners. It’s a product of solid values and strong backbones.

(Excerpt) Read more at ironshrink.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: divorce; marriage; masculinity; values
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I am not sure it’s a good idea to take advice on this topic from Saturday night posters ;)


41 posted on 02/07/2015 9:28:03 PM PST by matt1234 (Slay the beast.)
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To: gaijin
women got cats and dogs.

guys got porn.


I like my cats a lot more than the guy I married who decided bathing was optional; he'd just put on a clean shirt and a three piece suit, and he was set for the day! The cats are cleaner!

My cats will never run up a debt into 5 figures and not tell me about it.

AAA will show up if I call them, unlike my ex husband, who sometimes had other things to do.

There are good marriages out there, but the risks of getting dragged into something financially devastating, emotionally destructive all while risking physical abuse/death...it's not worth it. Guys, enjoy your porn.
42 posted on 02/07/2015 9:31:24 PM PST by Nepeta
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To: matt1234

Let me guess... your a young metro sexual not looking for a family? Certainly not one of the new termed lumber sexual!


43 posted on 02/07/2015 9:33:44 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: ransomnote

Why Women Are Rejecting “Perfect” Men?
I get rejected all the time.....

Life Science The Wife Hack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsKB3uJpAVQ


44 posted on 02/07/2015 9:36:03 PM PST by minnesota_bound
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To: Nepeta

Actually, until divorce is normalized between the sexes, marriage will continue to decrease. The current laws are outrageous.


45 posted on 02/07/2015 9:36:07 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: RegulatorCountry
Being the “perfect” man equals doormat. That’s the ugly reality of modern society.

This was the CELEBRITY CIPHER in the Daily Herald just few days ago. IIRC:

"The secret to a perfect marriage is to do everything your wife tells you. 'Yes dear,' and take a breath."

Attributed to Denzel Washington of all people.

46 posted on 02/07/2015 9:39:47 PM PST by dr_lew
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To: ransomnote

Control is an illusion. Yet most of us, male and female alike, seek to control our lives. When the world or our job or our partner fails to live up to the expectations of our carefully crafted illusion .... we throw a temper tantrum, screaming at the storm that we can not control.


47 posted on 02/07/2015 9:40:56 PM PST by taxcontrol
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To: Deagle
I wonder if you are of the later generation though as things do seem to be very different these days.

That might explain it. My father's generation was all right with the wives being homemakers and the husbands breadwinners. But, in my generation, most men grew up expecting their wives to bring home a paycheck. When their wives do stay home, those men aren't happy about it. (Of course, there are exceptions to the rule.)

48 posted on 02/07/2015 9:44:17 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: catnipman

lol says alot


49 posted on 02/07/2015 9:46:16 PM PST by kvanbrunt2 (civil law: commanding what is right and prohibiting what is wrong Blackstone Commentaries I p44)
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To: Nepeta

Financially devastated almost always pertains to the man in the marriage and divorce you know. You seem to be an unusual case.


50 posted on 02/07/2015 9:47:48 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: Nepeta
My cats will never run up a debt into 5 figures and not tell me about it.

Oh, you married one of those, too, eh?

51 posted on 02/07/2015 9:49:39 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: ransomnote
“I am currently dealing with several of these great husbands. They are, across the board, respectful, quality, caring, devoted, cherishing, authentic, and supportive guys whose wives have left them for a different kind of man.”

No matter what they say or even think, their biology leads women to actually a man, not another woman.

52 posted on 02/07/2015 9:50:48 PM PST by arthurus (It's true!)
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To: Deagle
Let me guess... your a young metro sexual

Nope. BTW I was including myself in that dig :)

53 posted on 02/07/2015 9:51:03 PM PST by matt1234 (Slay the beast.)
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To: Deagle; Nepeta
Financially devastated almost always pertains to the man in the marriage and divorce you know. You seem to be an unusual case.

You can count me as number two. So now there are two of us women here who fit that description. IOW, it's not unusual.

54 posted on 02/07/2015 9:51:09 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: RegulatorCountry

It is becoming more and more foolish for a man to marry, especially if he is economically upwardly mobile. He does well, maybe they both do well in careers and she can clean him out and take any minor kids away from him and strip him of his assets and sequester his income and it happens fairly often.


55 posted on 02/07/2015 9:53:33 PM PST by arthurus (It's true!)
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To: Deagle
Financially devastated almost always pertains to the man in the marriage and divorce you know. You seem to be an unusual case.

Basically, I threw away the first 15 years post college because he ended up with everything after coming after me with three lawyers. He wanted me to reimburse him for anything he had fed me during the marriage. He liked men a little too much, too.
56 posted on 02/07/2015 9:55:28 PM PST by Nepeta
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To: Tired of Taxes

Well, my older generation (and me) were like your father. I hoped for a wife that took care of the home while I worked and provided. These days, who knows. I think that these changes are okay as long as both parties agree but they do not weather well for raising a family. Big difference.

These days, I really think that it is all about themselves, a bit selfish, looking for goods, little regards for feelings of their spouse. Things have really deteriorated to me, and it actually started a couple decades back.

Too many men and women met mid-life crises and became somebody else trying to regain youth I guess. Anyway, it seems to have expanded into today with mid-life being about 25 instead of 55. Don’t really know what to blame it on but it certainly changed our history and outlook.


57 posted on 02/07/2015 9:56:38 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: Tired of Taxes
You can count me as number two. So now there are two of us women here who fit that description. IOW, it's not unusual.

No, it's not. Men make more noise when it happens to them.
58 posted on 02/07/2015 9:57:03 PM PST by Nepeta
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

They don’t know what they want because their education and intellectual reasoningtell them they want handsome but functionally effeminate men while their biology tells them they want a real man. They marry the Vogue iconic man and after a time are just plain unsatisfied. Something is terribly missing and they don’t ever figure it out.


59 posted on 02/07/2015 9:57:39 PM PST by arthurus (It's true!)
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To: SamAdams76

“...drive to a lot of shopping malls.”

It has to be even with Doctor’s visits!


60 posted on 02/07/2015 10:02:18 PM PST by cameraeye (A happy kaffir!)
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