Need Posting Help

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2981786/posts ^

[MasterMason]

I just re-joined FR and I would like to post to my local NC state board but I am not able to. How do I get the ability to do that?

[Tax-chick]

But I have to fix the punctuation, or I’ll go crazy!!!

[Monkey Face]

LOL! You, me and Bob will for sure catch the punctuation, but who else will? Anyone whose mother taught English, of course, but who else?

[null and void]

Here's a kitty I don't think you'll use...

[Tax-chick]

True!

[null and void]

A few days ago, I was backing out of my parking spot at Walmart, and believe it or not, a woman actually stopped when she heard the alarm!

Did she stop in back of the truck?

[NicknamedBob]

"But I have to fix the punctuation, or I’ll go crazy!!!"

When a comma goes to Heaven, does it become an apostrophe?

[Monkey Face]

No, Nully, but she was almost there when she did stop, so that almost counts...1500 points for a Walmartian with a full cart....I was so close...

[Monkey Face]

Good one, Bob...

[Dead Corpse]

Do they come in a six-pack size?

[NicknamedBob]

"Do they come in a six-pack size?"

Not unless you want to transport squirrels to Yuggoth.

[NoCmpromiz]

But I have to fix the punctuation, or I’ll go crazy!!!

So...

Do you need to be restrained in a long white coat with the sleeves that lace up to enable you to read edward estlin without a psychotic episode...

(Although it should be noted that e e was not universal in his use of what has been perceived as cummingsisms...)

[Monkey Face]

I think eecummings had an ego trip he couldn’t come down from.

[NicknamedBob]

"I think eecummings had an ego trip he couldn’t come down from."

Good thing that doesn't happen to every poet.

Ahem.

[Tax-chick]

Now, who can say ...

[Monkey Face]

:fingers I ears: “lalalalalalalala”

[Monkey Face]

I => IN

[Gefn]

My mother sent me this email. There are some groaners here.
Sincerest hope you like.

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it….
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, apparently they barium.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off.

[Gefn]

Above post for everyone.

Some of the names might have got cut off, but I typed in “all”

[Gefn]

I don’t know about commas in heaven, but when my dad had part of his colon removed, I told him he now has a semi colon.

[Tax-chick]

Cute. Some of those could be rephrased into riddles for the Cub Scouts.