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I Wasn't Treating My Husband Fairly, And It Wasn't Fair
SunnySkyz ^ | 12-28-2014 | SunnySkyz

Posted on 01/08/2015 10:13:52 AM PST by wastedyears

My "Aha Moment" happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized he'd gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat - which means it's 70% lean and 30% fat. Read more at http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/610/I-Wasn-t-Treating-My-Husband-Fairly-And-It-Wasn-t-Fair#EY4FIxGCmr92Qrb1.99

(Excerpt) Read more at sunnyskyz.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: blog; bride; dinner; divorced; excepting; exceptingablog; excerpted; excerptedblog; family; feminism; husband; intelligent; marriage; married; mate; nag; spouse; vacation; wife; women
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To: OneWingedShark
When a certain man's son was in the fifth grade at a private school, the task of picking the boy up after school was shared by both the working mother and the working father. The father traveled a significant amount of time as a sales rep with a big territory to cover, so when he was working from home he would often get to pick the boy up after school and have quality time with him.

One particular morning the wife, as she was herding the boy out the door to the car to take him to school, said back over her shoulder in a not loud enough voice, 'You need to pick up **** after school today', then shut the door and was gone. The father did not hear this instruction, being in another part of the house perhaps making noises with morning routine.

The wife/mother used this passive-aggressive methodology to entrap the father into failures to function as she wanted him to do. She created these episodes as a means to leverage the feelings of others toward her husband, most significantly the feelings of the son and the in-laws.

The time came for the boy to be picked up after school. He was expecting the father since he had heard the instructions from a closer vantage point, being in front of the mother as she left the house. When the father did not show up, the boy walked to the end of the school parking lot, to the house of his babysitter and asked to call his grandparents to pick him up. They arrived and took him to their house.

On the way to their home the grandparents stopped where they expected the father to be, and sure enough he was there on he tennis courts with three men, playing doubles with clients for the sales position. The father played too much tennis ...

The shaming of the father was by then a routine the grandparents (the mother's parents) had been enlisted for on several occasions, using just such passive-aggressive trapping as this occurrence.

Now, the father, knowing that he was on the road too much, did not try to correct the record since he believed that the son's trust in his mother, for security daily, out weighed the need to correct the passive-aggressive trap.

This conclusion did not fix the problem of passive-aggressive behavior, nor end the trapping game, nor reduce the father's escapes through tennis and golf. It did not even remain a significant episode to the father, except when he failed to meet the wife/mother's expectations on some other issue and she would pull the episode from her gunnysack of 'offenses' to make fresh once again this triumph of her passive-aggressive manipulations of the family, the father, and the son.

What the episode did cause, every time it was raised again and again, was to feed a root of bitterness the father had toward the mother whom he loved but could not understand fully. The repeated gunnysack reliving episodes caused a growing bitterness in the wife, as she was unconscious that her continued harboring a sense of being wronged only made her more passive-aggressive in ever more devious ways.

The husband's bitterness caused more escape to golf and tennis and less involvement in the home. A vicious cycle was thus kept active until the end of the marriage.

Eventually the marriage was abruptly ended by the wife and for years the son harbored distrust of the father and a sense that the father did not really care about him growing up.

The only hope for cleansing of such life lessons is that the son become conscious of the mother's passive-aggressive behaviors throughout the home life and then the understanding evolved to show how this causes the root of bitterness in both parents and the son. This can but does not always, lead to forgiveness and a heightened love for the parents and on rare occasions between the defunct marriage partners.

121 posted on 01/08/2015 12:26:06 PM PST by MHGinTN
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To: Kackikat

You’re basically right. I have always butchered my own and still do so it’s more on what we want on hand that determines what becomes of the meat.


122 posted on 01/08/2015 12:28:14 PM PST by CynicalBear (For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus)
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To: wastedyears

First off this woman sounds like a complete control freak. Being a man of the household I do 90% of the household shopping, especially the groceries and absolutely all the meat. I also either do 90 % of the cooking or lay out the menu. My desk is my filing cabinet, please do not clean or disturb it unless I am present. We have 2 computers in the house, you have no need to use mine. I won’t bitch about the cost of your clothes, otoh, don’t tell me I need to cut cost on my drink. Yeah I smoke to much, so what. No I won’t watch Jerry Springer with you just because it reminds you so much of your family.

Life is good and we get along just great!


123 posted on 01/08/2015 12:28:14 PM PST by eastforker (Cruz for steam in 2016)
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To: wastedyears

Mr. Clean was a hunk, then when the pussification started they put ear rings on him.


124 posted on 01/08/2015 12:29:22 PM PST by EQAndyBuzz (I'm from the Soylent Corporation and I am here to help.)
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To: wbill

I believe that shawshank redemption kind of flips that stereotype on its head where Freeman is concerned.


125 posted on 01/08/2015 12:29:40 PM PST by jurroppi1 (The only thing you "pass to see what's in it" is a stool sample. h/t MrB)
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To: MHGinTN

Power ones. Preferably gasoline powered ones.


126 posted on 01/08/2015 12:30:13 PM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Obadiah
I am a happily married person, but I am simply thunderstuck when I try to explain something to my wife and she doesn’t believe me, and then a twenty-something sales clerk will tell her the same thing I told her... and it’s like Moses had come down from the Mount. No kidding.

My husband does that so I know exactly what you are talking about. Even my kids notice it.

127 posted on 01/08/2015 12:30:49 PM PST by riri (Obama's Amerika--Not a fun place.)
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To: CynicalBear

Thanks for clearing that up, so I don’t think I have been shopping incorrectly for meat for years...lol


128 posted on 01/08/2015 12:33:43 PM PST by Kackikat
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To: FreedomPoster

*snort* Yes!


129 posted on 01/08/2015 12:35:25 PM PST by MHGinTN
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To: wastedyears

This sum up the women I’ve been with the last two years.. really my reaction was waiting for to grow up an be an adult.. but an this point I’ve lost respect for her.. and just shine her on like you do with a pompous idiot .. I’m ready to flip the bird an say bye... In the military these type people are the know nothing new 2nt lieutenant


130 posted on 01/08/2015 12:35:41 PM PST by tophat9000 (An Eye for an Eye, a Word for a Word...nothing more)
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To: wastedyears
My wife had this odd habit of belittling me and disagreeing with anything I said (even stuff that was initially her own idea)... in front of family and friends. and whenever I called her on it I would get called controlling. To this day I have family and friends that think I was a jerk to her for not sitting there and taking it.

As a result I'm very skeptical when I hear women complain about their controlling or jerky husbands or boyfriends. Maybe they need to look in the mirror.
131 posted on 01/08/2015 12:37:17 PM PST by StolarStorm
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To: Obadiah
The White male -- the buffoon. The idiot. The child, incapable of producing or doing anything without the assistance of a child or a woman.

Which always reminds me of this epic rant from the incomparable Fred Reed.

132 posted on 01/08/2015 12:38:39 PM PST by NorthMountain
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To: wastedyears

divorced men and women, and this may strike a deep chord with a few of them


BINGO ! Not upset, but I recognize it, for sure. When she served me with papers, most of our friends said “Wait - she’s leaving you?”.

I got so tired of the same scenario, if she wanted something from the store, I would ask for the empty package, to take with me, for comparison. One time, I went to the neighborhood pharmacy. Everything lined up on the two packages, except the color of the “Quality Seal” was gold, in the store, but silver, on the empty package. I trudged up to the pharmacist, to be sure, she looked at them, and explained “yes, we are a large chain, and get dedicated production runs, sometimes the same product comes in a slightly different package”. After thanking her, I took one of her business cards from the counter.

As was my habit, I put the original in the bag, sure enough, 15 minutes after I got home, I was lambasted for bringing home the gold seal. I repeated the explanation, to no avail; when I handed her the card, and told her to call “Carol” herself, she replied with “you are such an @$$h()le.

:)


133 posted on 01/08/2015 12:40:45 PM PST by jttpwalsh
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To: SkyDancer

Hey, it’s still a pilot. That’s great


134 posted on 01/08/2015 12:43:02 PM PST by wastedyears (I may be stupid, but at least I'm not Darwin Awards stupid.)
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To: Kackikat

She is more than just a smarty pants...you’re too kind


135 posted on 01/08/2015 12:45:41 PM PST by wardaddy (glenn beck is a nauseous politically correct conservative on LSD)
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To: StolarStorm

I’m very skeptical when I hear women complain about their controlling or jerky husbands


Most of the time my ex wife would introduce me to one of her co workers, they had a reaction along the lines of “Gee, you don’t seem like a one eyed monster”.


136 posted on 01/08/2015 12:46:43 PM PST by jttpwalsh
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To: wardaddy

All I could think of at the time.


137 posted on 01/08/2015 12:47:15 PM PST by Kackikat
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To: UCANSEE2; Cowboy Bob

Cheaper groceries like Piggly or IGA often have 70/30

Which means 30% fat

Similar to butterfat measuring in milk or cream

With all due respect I prefer high fat ground beef for burgers...regular cow meat

Lower fat....to me...makes better chili or meat loaf or spaghetti etc

High fat cheap ground meat was very common 50 years ago

Not round or chuck

Just ground beef....

Super lean makes a dry burger

20% is minimum I’ll use....especially if grilling

I’m hungry...maybe I’ll have some kale...per Wifey orders


138 posted on 01/08/2015 12:53:04 PM PST by wardaddy (glenn beck is a nauseous politically correct conservative on LSD)
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To: jttpwalsh

I remember being panicked when I couldn’t read the last item on her list. I asked a number of people who couldn’t read it either until we finally made out “milk”.

Seems pretty universal with women nowadays that they have to be in absolute control of everything thanks to feminism.

Pray America is waking


139 posted on 01/08/2015 12:53:27 PM PST by bray (Sharpton is a murderer)
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To: Kackikat

Off the scale harridan

Fluke

Garafalo

Rosie

You know what I mean


140 posted on 01/08/2015 12:54:57 PM PST by wardaddy (glenn beck is a nauseous politically correct conservative on LSD)
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