Observatory Hell from the 86th Floor of Empire State Building

Observation decks in skyscrapers are always an overpriced "tourist trappy" sort of thing so I try to avoid them in general.

However, I had some family members visiting this week and they insisted upon going to the top of the Empire State Building (a slender and majestic skyscraper that sits on corner of 34th St and 5th Avenue).

Ayn Rand admired this building, which went up rapidly in the 1930s - at the height of the Great Depression - but I digress.

Now last time I went to observation deck of this particular building was back in the 1980s when my new wife and I spend a few days on Manhattan as part of our honeymoon. The Twin Towers were still around at the time and we went to the top of one of those as well. We actually walked the 30+ blocks to get there as we were young and full of energy and didn't want to take a cab if we could help it.

Well, a lot has changed in the nearly 30 years since I was last up on the 86th floor observation deck. There was practically no security and we pretty much pushed a button on an elevator to take us up to the 80th floor where we purchased tickets and took other elevators to both 86th and 102nd floor decks. No muss, no fuss.

This time around, the experience was quite different. We started out in Times Square which was pleasant enough. Highly recommended to bring the family to Times Square - just stay away from anybody dressed in a costume as they are creepy as hell and just want some of your money so you can take a lame picture with them.

So from Times Square, we walked the 8 blocks over to the Empire State Building, passing by the gigantic Macy's store that takes up an entire block.

As soon as we got past Macy's, the experience went downhill. We were surrounded by shifty looking "third party" vendors of tickets to various NYC attractions, complete with credit card scanners, who wanted to sell us overpriced observatory tickets that also included ferry to Ellis Island and a trip to top of Statue of Liberty.

Now I had a herd of about 10 family members with me so before I could corral them up, some of them already had their credit cards out, making it a done deal that we would purchase $29 tickets for $38 each (which they considered a bargain because Ellis Island ferry and Statue of Liberty trip was included). Unfortunately I did not have time to inform them that logistically, there was no way for us to take in the tour as we were only in the city for one day and it was already coming up on 3pm.

OK, no big deal. So we got fleeced for $9 a piece. About the price of a couple street vendor hot dogs. Welcome to New York! Plus, we should save a little time from having to purchase tickets inside the building - or so we thought.

So as we approach the Empire Street Building, we notice this massive line snaking around the block. Yes, this is the line to get inside the building to visit the observatory.

As noted, it was about 3pm and it takes us about a half hour to get into the lobby of ESB, in which another line snaked along, to where, we knew not.

It was about quarter to 4 before we were allowed to go up the escalator to the second floor where a huge "Space Mountain at Disney" type line weaved up and down the entire space, separated by the type of velvet ropes you normally see in movie theater lobbies.

During all this time, people with $50 "fast pass" tickets were whisked by us. It slowly dawned on us all that as time is money, those $50 tickets we originally snickered at seemed like quite the bargain.

After about a half hour, it became obvious that the line we were in culminated in "airport style" metal detectors, manned by those who were evidently turned down by TSA. As we snaked closer, we were notified over loudspeakers to remove our jackets and belts. Only the loudspeaker voice resembled that of the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons and we couldn't make heads or tails out of what we being said until some brassy lady with a dark blue uniform marched up and down shouting at us to remove jackets and belts.

Once through the phalanx of TSA-rejects with their wands and their expressionless stony faces, we then had to get in yet another line, this time to purchase tickets (which we got to skip) and to get offered "audio guides" which looked like 1970s era Walkie Talkies and rented for $11.

Then we had to run a guantlet of useless exhibits showing how the skyscraper was built and other sort of useless facts, such as how many miles of pipes are in the plumbing (7 miles, if you are interested to know). Nothing looked like it was updated since the 1960s.

Most people shoved their way past these exhibits but you had a tiny percentage of overly-earnest tourists (mostly of Asian descent) who gummed up the works by pausing at each exhibits with their "audio guide" devices held up to their ears after having punched in the appropriate three digit code.

After all that, we come to yet another long line. By now it is 4:45pm - we have been standing in lines already for nearly two hours. This line leads to a person taking photographs of each group of tourists against a green background (which in the photos, will make it appear you are standing on the balcony over Manhattan at night).

There is no escaping the photo shoot. You are not simply allowed to walk past the camera without standing for a picture, whether by your self or as part of a group. We are thinking that this is a ruse to have our pictures taken for security purposes - and we are probably right about that.

Once the pictures are taken (with our images temporarily occupying the TV screens shown hanging from the ceilings - until the next group photo takes over), we are stuck in yet another long line.

Eventually, this line ends at a bank of elevators that takes us to the 80th floor. Because the building was designed such that you had to take separate elevators on the 80th floor to go higher.

Once on the 80th floor, you guessed it, another very long line snaking to the other bank of elevators.

However, this time, we were given the option of walking six flights of stairs as opposed to waiting another half hour to get on the next elevator.

Pretty much everybody availed themselves of the opportunity, including little old ladies and pot-bellied out-of-shape men who really should have known better.

So now, after waiting in lines for over two hours, we are now stuck in narrow staircases with sweaty, smelly and out-of-breath people, with the sounds of scuffling feet and raspy intakes and outtakes of bad breath. By the time we got to the 84th floor landing, you had a bunch of people just standing against the wall with their tongues hanging out and making all sorts of disgusting rasping and gasping sounds as they tried to catch their breath in the hot, stale air.

There was actually an elderly lady with crutches attempting to negotiate the staircase. It was crazy!

Finally we get to the 86th floor observatory. The sun was shining brightly when we entered the building nearly 2 1/2 hours ago. Now there is only the tinge of a sunset we missed and Manhattan is spread out below us in shimmering lights.

It would be a great view if we could actually get to edge but there were hundreds - probably thousands - of tourists that so crammed the observation deck that it was all we could do to turn sideways and inch our way around the platform. Meanwhile, you had a group of mall-cop types in uniforms telling us to "move along, move along".

There were so many people on the deck that I seriously feared that the building might tip over if we did not properly balance our collective weight around the observation deck (however, no problem on that count).

After about 20 minutes, we finally decided we had had enough and after squeezing in a few obligatory photos that were not obstructed by other people, we headed for the elevators to go back down.

However, it was not quite as easy as pushing the button and going down to the bottom. First ,we had to go back down to the 80th floor and get herded through about a quarter mile of gift shop. Then we had to get past the pushy vendors trying to sell us the photo they took of us earlier for $20.

Once past that, we got literally pushed into an elevator that took us to the bottom and we were unceremoniously shunted out to the street outside, where we saw even longer lines waiting to get in.

So all in all, the Empire State Building observatory is a colossal ripoff. However, the rest of our day in NYC went exceedingly well. Especially the Heartland Brewing and Chophouse on 43rd Street where we all had dinner. After a couple of Oatmeal Stouts, I was feeling good about NYC once again.

I have traveled all over the world, Netherlands, Germany, Italy, Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, China, Australia and several other places. I do not consider New York City to offer the best of anything.

Do they still make the red velvet cake at the Waldorf Astoria ?

Only way I’m gonna go downtown NYC ever again........

If you have plenty of money and don't have the hassle of a car (the one place in America I would not want to drive), Manhattan can be a pleasurable place to visit.

I recently moved to the NYC area so now I'm playing host to friends and family who want to come visit the city. So I'm going to be doing the Manhattan "tourist" thing a lot more often. Also, I have an office on Lexington Ave, about a block from Grand Central so I work there now too.

BTW, my new home is in CT, about an hour from Manhattan and surrounded by acres of trees so I have retained some sanity in my life!

I remember going to the top of the Empire State building back in the 90s. My friends and I left a Knicks/Celtics game (Ewing/Oakley vs. Bird/Parrish days), where we'd been drinking quite a bit. We found out the observatory was open until 2am so we headed over there. I think it was about $2.50 and we were the only people up there. It was very cool.

I work right in that neighborhood, across from MSG now. So I decided to walk over there during a lunch break and figured I'd pop back up there to check it out. As I approached it, I was accosted by about 30 bus tour/Empire State building fast-talking con men, found out it was over 30 bucks to ride an elevator and left.

Lots of great things to do in NYC, the Empire State is no longer one of them. Times Square north and into Central Park is still the best place to bring visitors.

Sorry your visit to the Empire State building did not go so well. There are quite a number of free things in New York City; however with a crowd of 10 you are somewhat limited. The Chrysler building the Graybar building and the New York public library Grand Central Station are free, and, well worth the visit. The subway system is amazing. The Staten Island ferry is free if you get on from downtown. Just an amazing place to walk! However, as you well know it requires much more time than one day.

Our daughter lives and works inManhattan. We are going to see her over the MLK Holiday in a few weeks. I've not been to that observation area since the 1960's when I really was but a wee lad. I remember then, that it was not crowded but it was quite breezy and I was able to get next to the chain link fence at the edge and push a small paper airplane through the links. We watched that thing float on the thermals for almost 45 minutes and some of that had to be done with the cheesy pay-by-the-minute telescopes on the deck. But it was really fun!

I had been thinking about a revisit but now thanks to you, I will pass. What about going to the "TOP of the ROCK" at Rockefeller Center? Isn't there a nice restaurant there? And a great view? Anybody know?

I missed initially that you personally wrote this. Nicely done writing and story telling. I don’t think a travel magazine would be interested, though, because it’s “negative”. Very amusing, however.

I was 9 or 10 when visiting the Empire State Building and, on the same trip, the New York World’s Fair. The fair and its spectacular exhibits still stand out in my mind to this day. We might have visited the fair on three successive days while staying in Connecticut and then New Jersey (my much-older brother was at Yale).

Saw a bit of the city again in 1983 and that did it for me. No desire to return. If I did and could afford it, though, I would opt for a sightseeing ride in a Jet Ranger. Although it will never happen, I do kind of desire to visit the over-the-top skyscrapers in other parts of the world.

Wow. Any chance this is because it was Christmas week and you hit at the ‘peak’ at 3pm?

Exactly. Used to work in NYC. WTC- 79th floor overlooking Governors Island and the Statue of Liberty. Great view

I loved friends and relatives visiting so I could do all those tourist things. The view of NYC is best from the Empire State Building.

But we would plan things on off-peak days and times. Disney world is great in October, hell in the summer. Just plan your visits a little better for a great time.

I remember then, that it was not crowded but it was quite breezy and I was able to get next to the chain link fence at the edge

My memory is kind of hazy. I think it was a dreary day. I remember the Sears Tower better.

Reminded me of the wait to pass by President Reagan, when he lay in State under the Dome. I think it was about 12 hours, though the company was, perhaps, better.

Haven't been to the Observatory since 1967, before the Twin Towers built.

Makes me feel well beyond my years, but does little to alter my estimation of the sad condition of our culture. The case for sealing that conclusion was made by the silly people who decided not to rebuild the Twins. A cheaper plan than many a wasteful and incomplete one hatched in the years since.

Congratulations!

I have always thought that working in Manhattan and living in CT would be an ideal life. I know that CT is full of libtardization, but being so close to the skiing in VT would make it worth it for me. Although I have been quite happy here in the rural heartland of DC :)

I grew up in NYC. Around 1965, I was in college and dating a young woman who was living at the Manhattan YWCA while attending school. One Saturday night near the end of our date, we decided to go up to the top of the ESB. As I best recall, there was no ticket charge because one did not need a ticket. We took the elevator up and had to switch elevators to reach the top which at the time was quite open with minimal guard rails. Up and down within a half hour with no wait and for free.

"Never give your camera to someone else to take your picture, especially if there are naked pictures of your wife already on the camera."

Clark Griswold learned the hard way.

Times Square north and into Central Park is still the best place to bring visitors.

How could one do that safely in the absence of a platoon of ex- Israeli Shayetet 13 body guards?

I've been to the top of the Empire State Building only twice. Both times were summer mornings, generally before 10 am (possibly before 9 -- I had dropped my son off at a class nearby.)

At that time of the morning, you can get up there fairly quickly. I spent most of the time walking (and pausing for that stupid picture that I didn't buy).

I do have a selfie that was my fb profile pic for a while (back in 2010-ish?)

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