I stopped.
I stared.
I said, "We haven't taken our coats off yet."
I stared some more.
He was slow, but eventually, said, "I'll come back."
He came back, handed us menus and asked, "Would you like an appetizer?"
I stopped.
I stared.
I said, "We haven't looked at the menus yet."
I stared some more.
He was slow, but eventually, said, "I'll come back."
He came back about a minute later.
He started to talk, but I stopped him right away. "How do you think this is going so far?" I asked.
"Ummmmmm, fine?"
"No. No it isn't. You're rushing us. You're trying to turn over your tables too quickly. You want drinks, appetizer, order food, eat food, hand over money. That's what you want. But it's not what my wife and I want. I want a nice meal, and a pleasant dining experience. That means we don't want to be rushed. We also don't want to be ignored -- so don't start hiding from us. We just want attentive service and reasonable amount of time to settle and make decisions. Can you do that?"
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
"Fine. You'll get a good tip, if you do a good job. So far, you haven't been doing so well. So work on doing better."
He got better.
He started to talk, but I stopped him right away. “How do you think this is going so far?” I asked.
“Ummmmmm, fine?”, replied the waiter.
“You aren’t going to believe this, but we’re already done with the whole meal! It is absolutely amazing how fast you served us everything and we don’t even have anything to show for it! Not even a check for the meal Here’s a penny for your tip.”
Hand him a penny and walk out of the restaurant.
I have only had to do that once... Now I walk into the restaurant they fight over me and the wife to get us seated in their dinning area... I am know to tip heavy for good service.