Posted on 08/29/2014 5:45:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Thanks to Lazamataz's new book, I came across some other silliness:
Woman Shot in her own Driveway*
Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.
The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
Woo Hoo!
She’s bringing in the Silver.
Nothing more satisfying after all those hours of hard work.
Have assisted with several car restorations over the years, so i understand your Pride in the job well done. :)
BTW, that’s my Dad’s shadowbox in the background, not mine.
That’s a nice idea.......hmmmm.
By not paying they missed out on all those Nectar points!
Absolutely great and one I had not seen before!
That one is OK (sorta), but the other one with the “happy boys” in thongs popping out of the box had much more effect. I’m searching every combination of key words I can come up with in order to find it...
...or the punchline could be “they both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.”
What did the first Japanese pilot say over Pearl Harbor?
Supplies!!!
Kevin Sorbo Official Facebook Page
This was sent to me. Interesting. I did my best to check the facts here and the list here seems to be true. Interesting.
Have you ever seen a Muslim hospital?
Have you heard a Muslim orchestra?
Have you seen a Muslim band march in a parade?
Have you witnessed a Muslim charity?
Have you shaken hands with a Muslim Girl Scout?
Have you seen a Muslim Candy Striper?
The answer is no, you have not. Just ask yourself WHY ???
Barack Obama, during his Cairo speech, said: “I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of America ‘s history.”
AN AMERICAN CITIZEN’S RESPONSE
Dear Mr. Obama:
Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed? Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.
Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day? Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.
Can you show me one Muslim signature on the: United States Constitution? Declaration of Independence ? Bill of Rights?
Didn’t think so.
Did Muslims fight for this country’s freedom from England ? No.
Did Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the slaves in America ? No, they did not.
In fact, Muslims to this day are still the largest traffickers in human slavery. Your own half-brother, a devout Muslim, still advocates slavery himself, even though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black Muslims as “pug nosed slaves.” Says a lot of what the Muslim world really thinks of your family’s “rich Islamic heritage,” doesn’t it Mr. Obama?
Where were Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this country?
Not present.
There are no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking side by side with Martin Luther King, Jr. or helping to advance the cause of Civil Rights.
Where were Muslims during this country’s Woman’s Suffrage era?
Again, not present. In fact, devout Muslims demand that women are subservient to men in the Islamic culture. So much so, that often they are beaten for not wearing the ‘ha jib’ or for talking to a man who is not a direct family member or their husband. Yep, the Muslims are all for women’s rights, aren’t they?
Where were Muslims during World War II?
They were aligned with Adolf Hitler. The Muslim grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler, reviewed the troops and accepted support from the Nazi’s in killing Jews.
Finally, Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th, 2001?
If they weren’t flying planes into the World Trade Center , the Pentagon or a field in Pennsylvania killing nearly 3,000 people on our own soil, they were rejoicing in the Middle East . No one can dispute the pictures shown from all parts of the Muslim world celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other cable news network’s that day.
Strangely, the very “moderate” Muslims who’s asses you bent over backwards to kiss in Cairo, Egypt on June 4th were stone cold silent post 9-11. To many Americans, their silence has meant approval for the acts of that day.
And THAT, Mr. Obama, is the “rich heritage” Muslims have here in America ...
Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to mention the Barbary Pirates. They were Muslims.
And now we can add November 5, 2009 - the slaughter of American soldiers at Fort Hood by a Muslim major who is a doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be counseling soldiers returning from battle in Iraq and Afghanistan .
Also, don’t forget the Boston Marathon bombing on April 15.2013 was done by 2 Muslim Brothers. That, Mr. Obama is the “Muslim heritage” in America
EVERY AMERICAN MUST READ THIS !!
Be sure to SEND IT TO ALL.
Muslim Heritage, my ass.
And if you don’t share this message,
you are part of the problem
Very good and very true.
One small hole: https://www.google.co.uk/#q=muslim+charity
There are registered muslim charities, how much charitying they do who knows, but they do appear to exist.
That’s a great idea, I’ll suggest it for the local airshow this October.
Stole this off a post on Yahoo.
They’re not happy in Gaza ..
They’re not happy in Egypt ..
They’re not happy in Libya ..
They’re not happy in Morocco ..
They’re not happy in Iran ...
They’re not happy in Iraq ..
They’re not happy in Yemen ...
They’re not happy in Afghanistan ..
They’re not happy in Pakistan ..
They’re not happy in Syria ..
They’re not happy in Lebanon ..
SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?
They’re happy in Australia .
They’re happy in Canada .
They’re happy in England ..
They’re happy in France ..
They’re happy in Italy ..
They’re happy in Germany ..
They’re happy in Sweden ..
They’re happy in the USA ..
They’re happy in Norway ..
They’re happy in Holland .
They’re happy in Denmark .
Basically, they’re happy in every country that is not Muslim
and unhappy in
every country that is!
AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?
Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.
THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!
AND THEN; They want to change those countries to be like....
THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!
Excuse me, but I can’t help wondering...
How damn dumb can you get?
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim
Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Lets have a look at the evidence:
- No Christmas
- No television
- No nude women
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
- No beer
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower
- More than one wife
-More than one mother in law
- You can’t shave
- Your wife can’t shave
- You can’t wash off the smell of donkey
- You cook over burning camel #$%$
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you
- and your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you that “when you die, it all gets better”??
Well no #$%$ Sherlock!....
It’s not like it could get much worse
top 100.....and I have to work sunday....BLAH
Me too.
Things we do for money
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.