You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Posted on 05/09/2014 6:04:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote the first son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Marvin," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Melvin," she wrote to her third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. That chicken was delicious."
You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Oh, hell no.
Is this a gift for you? Or your partner?
Basically sex, but you’re expected to dress up for it, too. Swell.
1. Joke gifts are not cool on Mother’s Day, 2. This had better be a joke gift if your significant other wants to live.
Explaining to your neighbor why half of their flower bed has been torn up isn’t exactly how you want to spend Mother’s Day.
If you asked for these specifically this is an awesome gift. If not, WTF?
Really? Not even a card? You can really feel the love.
Homemade gifts are the best, that is, unless your kid took scissors to the living room drapes to acquire “materials.”
Your family appreciates you so much that they got you 10% of your next visit to Chili’s.
This is adorable until you realize you’ll be dining on fuzzy, severely burned toast and scrambled eggs mixed with M&Ms.
AKA how your significant other gets you to cook them a steak every month.
The stock image photo of a family that comes with the frame may be cute, but you’d much prefer one of your own family.
They say it’s the thought that counts, which is true, except for when the thought was to spend $3.99 or less.
What every mom wants to hear, “You’re a great mom! And fat!”
This one will go over about as well as the Weight Watchers gift certificate.
“Hey, Mom, mind if I play with your gift a little while?”
These are even worse when your significant other gives the same thing to their mother.
“The kids and I have to, uh, just run out for a sec, hon!” FAIL.
Gives a new meaning to being tickled...
I love that clip! Thanks Lucky!
GAH! MY EYES!
On the Michelle Antoinette picture, anyone else see her left hand and fingernails and how they look like they’re from a horror movie? Yikes. She has that dead eye look too. Scary.
Caption Time? There IS no caption that can actually caption something as uncaptionable as Mooshelle the Bearded Tranny...
Oh. Wait. Does that fall under “Personal Attacks?”
Good. Kicking a cat or any animal is sickening. A cat bonks it’s noggin on a glass door, and clearly gets up and runs away, it’s funny.
You have FReepmail.
That’s a keeper.
“Silence!!! I KILL YOU!”
...another keeper
I remember buying a 1963,three on the tree Falcon for 35 bucks! Easy to work on and junkyard parts were cheap! Those were the days!
My first car was a 56 Chevy with three on the tree. I paid less than the original mileage which was 1200 plus a few digits. I should have kept it and sold as a classic. Our neighbor just bought a 1955 Ford Fairlane for just over $10,000. I have better places to put my money.
I showed that to my bed-ridden mom this afternoon. I think she made her back worse from laughing so hard!
Priceless!
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Side the other get to.
Forgot the hashtag.
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