Posted on 03/30/2014 7:14:50 AM PDT by beebuster2000
Noah. don't bother, painful experience.
major beef with the movie is just the twisted plot. crazy long, the two kids sitting behind me long about 2 hours in totally lost it. i didn't blame them. drags on and on.
basically a bunch of time up front in the movie doing what exactly? not sure, Noah and family wander around eating moss and stuff, they don't eat meat, thats evil. those that eat meat will be destroyed by the Creator. ok fine, accept that in the movie and move on, but its weird. the meat eater theme continues throughout. as does the green BS about planet stewardship etc etc, ok, again fine, lets move on.
then Noah teams up with these fallen angels who live in these really stupid and silly looking giant rock bodies. What? anyway, those guys build the ark and they really look dumb like a kids cartoon. again, fine lets move on.
big battle as the ark starts to float. good.
now the really painful part, the ark trip, one of the babes is pregnant and eventually delivers twins. BUT, Noah goes nuts on the trip, like his meds run out. he now wants to kill his family this goes on and on and on.
please Creator, make the flood stoop so the movie can end and i can go to the bathroom.
FINALLY, the ark lands, but we don't get to see the animals get off. did i mention that they have been "asleep" for like 10 months? anyway, we do get to see Noah, now drunk, naked and living in a cave. Why? we don't know. Apparantly he gets his scrip renewed and gets back on the meds because he comes back to the family and helps dig around in the dirt.
anyway, DONT GO unless you really make a bathroom stop in advance cause the pain will be unbearable both from the movie and you know what.
your faithful reviewer Beebuster2000
Were Emma Watson and Jennifer Connolly good looking in the movie?
Wife and I enjoyed it but we go to movies during the day on a weekday. Can’t stand chatty kids in a movie. Ugh. I don’t envy that experience.
A collection of FREEPER threads on the movie - Noah ...
Religious tide turns against ‘Noah’
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3138393/posts
Noah: a classic blunder
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3138403/posts
Nine problems with the movie “Noah”
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138569/posts
Don’t Get Punked by Paramount’s Pagan Noah Film
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3138604/posts
Noah – The Emperor’s New Movie (The Utter Embarrassing Mess of ‘Noah’)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3138663/posts
‘Noah’ Review: Brilliantly Sinister Anti-Christian Filmmaking
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3138716/posts
Noah, The Film: All Washed Up
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3138756/posts
Box Office: ‘Noah’ Winning Over Faith-Based and Mainstream Moviegoers
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138788/posts
No meat at ‘Noah’ party
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138805/posts
The Noah Movie: Our Detailed Review [Christian Review]
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3138815/posts
The Noah Movie: Deconstructing Noah’s Ark; Godawful Storytelling
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3138821/posts
Atheist ‘Noah’ director brags film is least biblical Bible movie ever
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138830/posts
Moviegoers Are Thinking Things Over After Earthquake Hits During ‘Noah’
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138838/posts
Ken Ham: The Unbiblical ‘Noah’ Is a Fable of a Film
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138844/posts
Box Office: Moviegoers Flock to ‘Noah’… But Hate It
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3138851/posts
BOX OFFICE: ‘Noah’ Rises, ‘God’s Not Dead’ Surprises As Schwarzenegger Brought To Knees
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3138858/posts
Ray Comfort Releases Christian Noah Movie: Watch ‘Noah and the Last Day’ on YouTube for Free
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3138946/posts
The midrashiest midrash that ever was midrashed [a spoiler-free “Noah” review]
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3138958/posts
Were you expecting something other than this from Hollyweird?
no jennifer and emma weren’t, they spent most of the movie in rags covered with dirt
Thank you for the entertaining review!!
Russel Crowe is an historical moron. I heard his political ramblings and opinions in the movie about Robin Hood and had to turn off the DVD.
As a matter of fact, in Genesis, God accepts the ANIMAL offering of Abel, while REJECTING the vegetable offering of Cain, which resulted in Cain killing Abel.
The Fallen Angels were the “bad guys”.
This entire flick is a piece of Hollyweird politically correct crap and I wouldn’t waste a penny of my money or a minute of my time on this junk.
UNFORTUNATELY, this is the MOST exposure to the Bible many “Christian” kids will get.
Curious. An odd assertion for a movie when that sentiment is juxtaposed against the need to "preserve all fauna" in the coming flood. Indeed, if God meant humans to be vegetarians, or even worse Veeeeegahnnnns, then the purpose of having animals on this Earth serves what? Are we to assume that God's intentions according to liberal Veeeeegahnnnns is that humans (with no souls apparently) are to be the food of animals then? And, moreover, thus having then been relegated to 'food' for the animals, just exactly why does God feel it necessary to punish humans (again, who apparently don't have free will and no souls per liberal veeeeghannnnns). They are food! Why 'destroy' anything at all then? It just don't make no damn sense if you aks me.
Noah set sail with a solid $15.2 million on Friday, while Sabotage was the latest Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle to blow up.
Noah’s $15.2 million debut is a bit up from Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood ($13 million), and is also noticeably higher than February’s Son of God ($9.5 million). Still, its miles away from disaster movies 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow, both of which opened over $23 million.
The movie received a poor “C” CinemaScore, which isn’t surprising given some of the unexpected fantasy elements in the movie. Assuming that negative word-of-mouth doesn’t take effect this weekend, Noah should wind up with around $40 million for the three-day frame.
Russell Crowe has a significant speech impediment. It’s a wonder how he even got a role in the first place.
Watched 45 mins of this downer and left. It is a creepy rip off from LOTR.
LOL!
The sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem, Ham and Japheth. (Ham was the father of Canaan.) 19 These were the three sons of Noah, and from them came the people who were scattered over the whole earth.
20 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded[j] to plant a vineyard. 21 When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
24 When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said,
“Cursed be Canaan!
The lowest of slaves
will he be to his brothers.”
26 He also said,
“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem!
May Canaan be the slave of Shem.
27 May God extend Japheth’s[k] territory;
may Japheth live in the tents of Shem,
and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth.”
28 After the flood Noah lived 350 years. 29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.
My guess is his mental impediment exceeds his verbal one. But, hey, that is Hollyweird. Look at how far Barbara Walters when, but then she probably slept her way to the top. Another brainless twit, but probably a good looker when she was younger.
Inquiring minds want to know.
From what the Bible indicates, mankind before the Flood was non-meat eating. It was after the Flood that God gave the permission to be meat-eaters.
There were many things that changed after the Flood. The rainbow is another example. Before the Flood, the land was watered from a mist coming up. At the beginning of the Flood and afterwards, there was rain - hence the “rainbow” and God’s promise of no world-wide flood again. The rainbow was God’s seal on his promise.
yes, i didn’t realize the rainbow significance. thats interesting and whenever i see a rainbow now i will think about it.
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