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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Silliness from around the world | Friday, March 28, 2014 | uochuck sitting in for Lucky9teen

Posted on 03/28/2014 3:50:50 AM PDT by upchuck

Are you ready for some Friday Silliness?

lucky9teen sent me a FReepmail saying she is sick and asking me to post this thread. This is an awesome responsibility and I hope, with your help, that this thread will be a crazy, insane, off-the-wall and out-of-the-box experience.

Let's get started:

Some would say this is a perfect mix:


Lots of new stories lately about people who are "other than heterosexual." Let us always remember that a transvestite is just a guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
Let me see if I have this correct...

Ukraine buys almost all its energy (natural gas)from Russia. Revenues from natural gas sales are a primary source of income for Russia.

Because of the recent disagreement between Ukraine and Russia, Russia is raising the price of natural gas it sells to Ukraine.

Ukraine is almost broke and can't afford the increase in the natural gas price because it would be forced into bankruptcy.

Obama(the USA) just announced the United States is giving Ukraine $1 billion to assist in paying for the higher priced natural gas it buys from Russia.

So, the United States is actually giving Russia $1 billion because the money is just passing through Ukraine.

The first question: Has Putin figured out a way to raise the price of his natural gas sales and make the U.S. pay for the increase?

Next question: Was he really in the KGB or was he a commodities trader?

If this analysis is accurate, Putin just got Obama(the USA) to pay him $1 billion by holding a press conference and trucking some troops across town from the Russian Navy base in Ukraine.

Who is the smartest guy in the room now?


And, speaking of being the smartest guy in the room:


Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb, the anus forms before any other opening. Which means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

Some people never develop beyond this stage.




H/T to smoothsailing



                A Tale of Two Cities

Chicago Houston

Population 2.7 million 2.15 million

Median HH Income $38,600 $37,000

% African-Americ 38.9% 24%

% Hispanic 29.9% 44%

% Asian 5.5% 6%

% Non-Hispanic White 28.7 26%

Pretty similar until you compare the following:

Chicago Houston

Concealed Carry gun law no yes

# of Gun Stores 0 184 Dedicated gun stores plus 1500 legal places to buy guns: Walmart, K-mart, sporting goods, etc.

Homicides in 2012 1,806 207

Homicides per 100K 38.4 9.6

Avg. Jan. high temp. (F) 31 63

Liberal conclusion: Cold weather causes murder.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst
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To: Daffynition
Gun porn, and a delicious breakfast, what more could a guy want?

Ok, two more things, a beautiful woman and a beer...

5.56mm

21 posted on 03/28/2014 5:38:59 AM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: M Kehoe
Gun porn, and a delicious breakfast, what more could a guy want?

Reminds of an old song I was listening to yesterday. "...the only two things in life that make it worth living, guitars tuned good and firm feeling women...."

Not silly, I know.

22 posted on 03/28/2014 5:42:44 AM PDT by Envisioning (It's the Jihad, stupid......)
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To: Pan_Yan

A stinkin’ SNICKERS commercial?? ;-P


23 posted on 03/28/2014 5:48:25 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

If your going to be funny and creative you might as well get paid for it.


24 posted on 03/28/2014 5:54:56 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11)
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To: upchuck

Winter cold causes murders — global warming to blame!


25 posted on 03/28/2014 6:00:19 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: mabarker1

26 posted on 03/28/2014 6:03:37 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ShadowAce

27 posted on 03/28/2014 6:06:17 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: fredhead

28 posted on 03/28/2014 6:08:37 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: upchuck; Monkey Face

29 posted on 03/28/2014 6:12:05 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: upchuck

Thanks for fillin in...
TGIF!!!!!


30 posted on 03/28/2014 6:13:16 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Dallas59

31 posted on 03/28/2014 6:14:58 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: upchuck

32 posted on 03/28/2014 6:16:24 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Envisioning

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money.


33 posted on 03/28/2014 6:20:06 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: M Kehoe

34 posted on 03/28/2014 6:20:30 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: TheOldLady
A crummy commercial??


35 posted on 03/28/2014 6:21:48 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: red-dawg

36 posted on 03/28/2014 6:24:24 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: upchuck

mlak mlak


37 posted on 03/28/2014 6:26:14 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Pan_Yan

Oh, sorry. My “Christmas Story” reference sailed right past you that time.

Snickers and Payday = my two favorite candy bars for many years.

My low-carb diet put an end to them for me, though. Sigh...


38 posted on 03/28/2014 6:27:11 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: verga

39 posted on 03/28/2014 6:27:25 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: upchuck

40 posted on 03/28/2014 6:27:31 AM PDT by Heartlander (We are all Rodeo Clowns now!)
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