Posted on 01/05/2014 12:24:09 AM PST by Slings and Arrows
Dear Cecil:
I was in the Costco liquor section when I happened upon a locked display case with three bottles inside (one whisky, one cognac, one I can’t remember), each priced upwards of $2,500. I imagine anyone who bought and drank one of these would be heavily influenced by "buyer's bias" regarding the actual taste of the product; still, I’d think the difference would be great enough that an average, uneducated drinker could pick out the ultra-expensive bottle from a $30 one in a blind test. What can science tell us about why an extremely high-quality and typically older alcohol would be so much more pleasant to drink, and thus much more valuable?
Cecil replies:
Science can tell us plenty about booze, Mort. However, the relevant discipline shifts as we rise in the price scale. At the low end, where we’re talking about beverages commonly drunk from paper bags, chemistry can easily demonstrate what separates rotgut from the decent stuff. Above a certain point, however, we find more useful insight in psychology, if you take my meaning. The question is where that shift occurs. In bitter moments I tend to say it’s around ten bucks a bottle, although having had a tasty if somewhat pricey Chateauneuf-du-Pape the other night I can see where you might objectively demonstrate that $100 was money well spent. But $2,500? Sorry, this is prima facie evidence of the madness of crowds.
With the exception of pure ethanol, alcoholic beverages are complex mixtures of chemicals derived from the raw materials plus the containers they’re aged and stored in. Variations in taste generally arise from differences in volatile organic compounds (VOCs), which readily vaporize at room temp when the container is opened and give the brew, vintage, or what have you its characteristic smell — not the common term, particularly among wine enthusiasts, but let’s call a spade a spade.
The VOCs potentially found in alcoholic beverages make for a long list. Most of the terms mean nothing to the nonspecialist, but since you asked, here are some things you might detect if your man cave is equipped with a mass spectrometer:
Still, while we know in a general way which VOCs are associated with what taste, that’s a long way from saying we can detail with any confidence the chemical differences separating an award-winning beverage from an OK one.
In many cases these differences are minute. For example, the subtle taste of “greenness” in a Sauvignon Blanc, an undesirable quality in other varieties of wine, arises from methoxypyrazine compounds, detectable by humans in the parts per trillion. It’s surely also true that taste is a result of the interplay between multiple VOCs, some of which chemists have yet to identify. The best means of judging quality, therefore, remains the human nose and palate.
These make for an imperfect instrument. Nowhere is this more evident than in the world of wine tasting:
Does that mean alleged differences in alcoholic beverages are BS? Depends on what you consider differences. When nonprofessional tasters were trained to use a standardized whisky-tasting vocabulary and then given samples of 40 blended Scotch whiskies, their assessments generally corresponded with the four categories of whisky being tested (deluxe, standard, cheap, and West Highland). In a separate study, the four categories were themselves found to have distinctive chemical signatures. In other words, it was possible to sense broad variations in quality, and those variations had a chemical basis.
On the other hand, consistently distinguishing a presumably exquisite $2,500 bottle from a merely excellent $100 one … eh, maybe somebody with an unusually sensitive palate could do it. You or me? That I doubt.
To the real Commonsewer of Booze waking up laying face down in the front yard when the sprinklers come on the only controversial question is ‘What happened last night?’.
It indeed used to be. Since I’ve not been to TJ’s in many years, I can’t verify this any more, but when I was drinking more single malt than I am now, it was certainly the case and I’d pick up many a bottle of good, “end of run” or similar odd-lot whisky at TJ’s.
That’s what I tell people too.
The ultra-expensive stuff, tho, usually isn’t worth the delta above the top-shelf $50 to $150/bottle stuff.
For example, I’ve found in single malt whisky that aging the spirit more than 18 years really adds nothing in terms of taste or nose. Somewhere between 12 and 18 seems to be the optimum aging time. 25 year single malts cost substantially more, but IMO aren’t worth it.
Now, is single malt better than blended whisky, or stuff like Chivas? Oh yes.
That said, there are some very good American whiskeys (bourbons, mostly) which are very good for very reasonable prices. I’ve recently discovered Buffalo Trace, and I find it very drinkable neat. Only about $25/bottle. I’d put it up there against any $60/bottle single malt.
A bunch of years ago while vacationing in Honduras, we ran out of the Tanqueray gin we had brought with us so we were forced to purchase the only gin available down there. It was an “import” from Holland I believe and the most foul tasting gin I had ever had in my life........It likely would have dissolved the bristles on a paint brush if used as a paint thinner.
Oh my God, Old Crow!! I was a young lad of 25 over so tending bar in an American Legion on the East Coast. After my shift I had time to have one beer in the back bar before going to pick up my other half at the metro station.
Well, all the big shots were there in the members only bar, buying shots and when it came to many turn, I said “Old Crow!” (cause that’s what all the cool guys were drinking.)One round turned into several, and at one point all the guys kind of backed away from me, leaving me to feel this “presence” behind me. You know., the mother of my child I was supposed to pick up hours ago..!
She smiled and said hello to all, before jerking me off that barstool, drunk as a hoot owl and dragged me home yelling about the two mile walk she had endured. I made it to the parking lot before that Old Crow started coming back up. I puked in the car, parking lot, steps of our apartment, and for the next two days I dry-heaved.I can’t even look at a crow these days.
True Story..
Once, I had this wicked—and stupid—idea of sending out invitations to our small circle of friends, inviting them to a wine-and-cheese party. Once they arrived we would serve Thunderbird wine and Velveeta cheese.
We likely would have been killed right there on the spot, too.
Produced in the next town over from where I grew up. LOL
The guy asked a question about spirits and got an answer about wine.
Great for the money:
Woodford Reserve Bourbon
Jamison Gold
Pinch Scotch Single Malt
George Dickel Tennessee Whskey
Ancient Ancient Age Bourbon
My Dad had a friend with the obnoxious habit of spending 20 minutes every time they got together bragging about how great Old Grandad bourbon relative to any other, and how he could always tell the difference.
When Dad ran out of Old Grandad, he refilled the bottle with the cheapest bourbon he could find. Enjoyed serving him out of this same bottle for many years, refilled as needed. He’d invariably take the glass, sit back andrepeat the mantra about how nothing compares with OG.
Also many years ago I used to be in a local bar-restaurant at 5 am once a month cleaning the carpet. The staff was there behind the bar, diligently topping up the high-end liquor bottles with much stuff out of gallon jugs. Ever since, I’ve enjoyed watching liquor snobs order the high-end stuff and pay a significant multiple of what I’m paying.
A bar can get in a lot of trouble for that. I know, because I watch "Bar Rescue." ;-)
As a non-Vodka or any Liquor drinker, I have always wondered about a vodka I read about in one of those local "Town & Country" clones, you know, the ones aimed at the "I have too much money" crowd. It was for "Diaka Vodka" whose claim to fame was being diamond filtered(?) and thus a premium Polish Vodka. Yes, diamonds are pure carbon, but used for filtering?!?
Sounds to ignorant me like marketing hype to the max!
Yes, New Jersey ran a sting operation just this past year, Operation Swill (love that moniker) catching multiple outfits doing just that action, refilling expensive bottles. One TGIF franchise got hit with a $500k fine.
However the above link had one bar patron affirming she always got the real stuff in her "Captain and Coke"! Really?
I have no doubt a bar can get in trouble, but AFAIK these guys never did.
I’m not a hard drink person, so please forgive my question.
I understand that Everclear is almost 100% ethyl Alcohol, could this be used (obviously in smaller quantities) as a substitute for high dollar vodka? I’m assuming that it has had more impurities removed to distil it to this proof.
The name of the Texas vodka wouldn’t be Tito’s, would it?
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