Posted on 11/26/2013 6:24:36 AM PST by Gamecock
NOVEMBER 25--A 62-year-old mall Santa Claus was arrested Saturday after allegedly pinching the buttocks of an 18-year-old woman who worked with him as an elf photographer, police report.
Herbert Jones was arraigned this morning in a Massachusetts court on an indecent assault and battery charge. Free on $1000 bail, Jones is next due in court on Christmas Eve on the felony count. A District Court judge directed Jones, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, to stay out of the Hanover Mall, and barred him from dressing up as Santa Claus for the balance of the holiday season.
According to a Hanover Police Department report, the elf told officers that “she walked by Santa who was in his chair at which point he reached up and pinched her buttocks.” Jones and the teenager work for a company that describes itself as “providing Santa Photographic services to the mall during the holiday season.”
According to a Hanover Police Department report, the elf told officers that “she walked by Santa who was in his chair at which point he reached up and pinched her buttocks.” Jones and the teenager work for a company that describes itself as “providing Santa Photographic services to the mall during the holiday season.”
The teen said that after the pinching she reported the incident to her manager, who later told her that “Santa wanted to speak with her.” When she subsequently met with Jones, he began to yell at her, saying “I would never have done something like that!”
Prior to the pinching, the woman told cops, Jones told her, “I wish you were a few years older and I was younger.”
A female coworker told police that she saw Jones “reach up in the area’s of [the victim’s] behind.” The witness said that while she was “unsure if his hand actually made contact” with the victim’s buttocks, the elf later reported “that Santa ‘pinched her butt.’”
When cops approached Jones in “Santa’s changing room,” he declared, “I did not touch that girl.” Jones, who was not in his Santa costume, was then arrested and escorted to a police cruiser.
During a subsequent recorded interview, Jones “was asked about the alleged pinching that occurred at the mall today.” He explained that he was seated in his Santa chair when the teenager “walked by and brushed her buttocks against his hand.” Jones added that he then “pulled his hand away in an attempt to avoid contact.”
Asked about the reported comment “I wish you were a few years older and I was younger,” Jones claimed that he “only stated that he wished he was young again so he could make different life choices and meant nothing else by it.” The teenage elf “took the conversation out of context,” added Jones.
You smell like beef and cheese!!!
“Sorry, apparently I thought I was so clever I posted twice!”
So where you naughty or nice?
Hubba hubba, Santa has some problems when he get back to the NP.
I always figured Santa had his own way with the elves. After all, up in the North Pole, where can you file a sexual harassment complaint!
a felony out of pinching? seems a little over the top.
Laraine Newman: I’m next!
Dan Aykroyd: [ laughing ] Are you sure you want to do this?
Laraine Newman: Sure! You know, I mean it’s crazy, this time of year does something to me, I feel like a little kid!
Dan Aykroyd: Make it quick, though - we’ve got a lot of shopping to do.
Laraine Newman: Oh, don’t be such a Scrooge. Where’s your spirit?
[ little girl steps off Santa’s lap and heads off ]
Mall Santa: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, everybody!
Laraine Newman: I’ll only be a minute.
Dan Aykroyd: Sure.
[ as Laraine steps up to Santa Claus, she unrolls some toilet paper which she proceeds to place around his lap ]
Dan Aykroyd: Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing?
Laraine Newman: Relax! I said I’ll only be a minute..
Dan Aykroyd: What is this?
Laraine Newman: It’s for protection.
Dan Aykroyd: Toilet tissue?! You mean, you haven’t heard of Santi-Wrap? [ holds up red and green colored toilet seat protection sheet ] Sure.. Santi-Wrap - the colorful, decorative and hygienic way to protect yourself from germs carried by the likes of a part-time Santa Claus.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..
Dan Aykroyd: Look, he’s so jolly, he’s smart, he knows if you’ve been sleeping - but do you know where he’s been sleeping?
Laraine Newman: [ sits up with a stir ] Oh, my goodness!
Dan Aykroyd: That’s just it, Look, Laraine - I love Santa just as much as anybody else, but, December 26th, Noel over here goes back to the Y.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..
Laraine Newman: But won’t toilet paper protect me?
Dan Aykroyd: Two-ply? Never. Not these germs. Let me show you.
[ show image of Santa’s bare leg ]
Dan Aykroyd: This is a picture of Santa’s leg. Seems normal. But look at the same picture magnified under a microscope.
[ show circular close-up of tiny little men sitting on a street corner, with little hairs surrounding the lens ]
Laraine Newman: Are those Santa’s helpers?
Dan Aykroyd: Yes, those are Santa’s helpers. And they’re communicable. Now, will you stop using the two-ply?
Laraine Newman: What a fool I’ve been! [ replaces her toilet paper with one Santi-Wrap sheet and sits ] Okay.. I want a car, and a refigerator, and -
Dan Aykroyd: Use Santi-Wrap, and I promise you won’t get one tick.. from jolly St. Nick.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho.. ho.. ho ho..
So, Santa pinched an Elf and the Elf had the cops pinch Santa.
Why?
< /file photo >
During the Clinton impeachment, NOW nags said that the first grope is “free”. Sexual harassment in the workplace didn’t matter anymore, “everybody does it”.
*facepalm*
SO, he found a new job
Disbarred Santa.
“Naughty girls, to the head of the line!” < /Herr Clinton >
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