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Government Shutdown Closes Antarctica
Free Reupblic ^ | Oct 2, 2013 | Edwin LAnd

Posted on 10/02/2013 2:52:38 PM PDT by edwinland

McMurdo Station, Antarctica (AP) -- The Republican's shutdown of the US Federal Government claimed another casualty today when scientists announced that Antarctica will be closed until further notice.

Although the US government does not technically own the world's Southernmost land mass, scientists funded by Federal tax dollars have had a presence on the continent for over fifty years. And with the Federal government shut down, that means the base, and all of the land it sits on, must remain closed until a new budget resolution is passed.

"It seems harsh," said Dr. Will Moresby, director of McMurdo Station on the Southern tip of Ross Island, "but if we can't work, we can't ensure the safety of the visitors to Antarctica, so it will just have to remain closed until the budget impasse is resolved."

To enforce the closure, the US Navy is sending 11 destroyers to form a blockade of the continent, and landing troops on all ice shelves adjoining major tourist landing sites. "It's a major expense" said Chuck Hagel, the US Secretary of Defense, "but until the Republicans agree to stop their pointless posturing, this kind of necessary expense will continue to accrue."

Experts put the cost of the closure at over $500 million per day, which will be added to the already enormous US deficit caused by the Bush tax cuts.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: antarctica; satire; shutdown
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:)
1 posted on 10/02/2013 2:52:38 PM PDT by edwinland
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To: edwinland

I’d like to bid on the Barrycade contract.....


2 posted on 10/02/2013 2:53:33 PM PDT by clintonh8r (Don't twerk me, Bro!)
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To: edwinland

I’ve heard they may have to close the moon tomorrow, if the Republicans keep this crap up.


3 posted on 10/02/2013 2:53:34 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: edwinland

As long as they have heat and food! (Or is it spring there?)


4 posted on 10/02/2013 2:54:01 PM PDT by miss marmelstein ( Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: edwinland

Nice satire.
For those of you who didn’t get it.


5 posted on 10/02/2013 2:54:15 PM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: edwinland

Sheila Jackson Lee wants the Mars colony shut down too.


6 posted on 10/02/2013 2:54:48 PM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: dead

*gasp*! Please tell me you’re kidding!


7 posted on 10/02/2013 2:55:32 PM PDT by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: edwinland

I noticed the moon is waning. Damn Republicans.


8 posted on 10/02/2013 2:55:52 PM PDT by Fledermaus (OMG! The Federal Government is Shut Down. World To End: Film At Eleven.)
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To: SpaceBar

Send her there so she can close it herself .


9 posted on 10/02/2013 2:56:06 PM PDT by Col Frank Slade
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To: edwinland

Now that’s funny!!!


10 posted on 10/02/2013 2:57:14 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: Irenic

“*gasp*! Please tell me you’re kidding!”

The fact that you are unsure is either a compliment to my writing skills OR a sad commentary on just how ridiculous this administration is!!


11 posted on 10/02/2013 2:57:43 PM PDT by edwinland
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To: edwinland

12 posted on 10/02/2013 2:58:07 PM PDT by LyinLibs (If victims of islam were more "islamophobic," maybe they'd still be alive.)
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To: edwinland

You guys are killing me, thanks for the laugh. Now can California be shut down?


13 posted on 10/02/2013 2:59:01 PM PDT by Patriot Babe
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To: SpaceBar

Sheila Jackson Lee wants the Mars colony shut down too.

OMG they are going to fall from mars back to earth cause there is no more money to keep them up there...


14 posted on 10/02/2013 3:00:01 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: dead

No more contact with Voyager I. and II also.
Global warming put on hold til agreement reached.
Obama, “ I will not negociate on abrogating the
Constitution, it must be done!”


15 posted on 10/02/2013 3:00:07 PM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: edwinland
 photo ClosingStatueofLiberty_zpscb3efbe1.jpg
16 posted on 10/02/2013 3:00:38 PM PDT by RetSignman (Standing my ground against group think.)
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To: edwinland

Next thing you know, the US will close the Columbian brothels too!! (It seems harsh, but...)


17 posted on 10/02/2013 3:02:19 PM PDT by SteveH (First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.)
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To: SpaceBar

She already shut down the Venutians.


18 posted on 10/02/2013 3:02:56 PM PDT by Cvengr (Adversity in life and death is inevitable. Thru faith in Christ, stress is optional.)
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To: edwinland

I don’t ever know what I’ll do if the moon doesn’t come up, or will they just fence it in?


19 posted on 10/02/2013 3:04:36 PM PDT by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: edwinland

You had me right up until the blockade :-)


20 posted on 10/02/2013 3:04:40 PM PDT by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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