Posted on 08/13/2013 1:06:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
By now you've probably heard: Short haircuts are happening. Everywhere. From the September Vogue Paris cover, to Coco Rocha's Instagram in real time, to Rihanna, who went short a few weeks ago. And if there are other life forms out there in the universe, Im sure even they have heard about Beyoncés pixie cut, polled their colonies for their citizens opinions, and put forth multiple theories about why she did it.
But as a short-haired woman for the past two years, Ive been watching the pixie hysteria unfold with some level of bemusement. I was never that comfortable with long hair on myself. The longest Ive had it is to my shoulders, and the bob is sort of my sweet spot. But in the early nineties, I was really into Depeche Mode and wanted to date someone with Martin Gore hair. I was not attracted to Gore himself too asexual. But I loved his hair and I finally decided that if I couldnt date his hair, then I would have his hair. This led to years of various bowl cuts, mousse experiments, and sometimes tears. But its still the ideal to which I aspire. In the meantime, if you're considering chopping all of your hair off, I'd like to share a few things I've learned:
Its Not Sexy and Men Hate It After Bey cut her hair, I got a press release from the appalling dating site WhatsYourPrice.com, wherein people bid to go on dates with you and you get to keep the money. Men there bid about 40 percent less on women with hair above their shoulders than on women with hair below their shoulders. Now, I actually take that as a compliment, because Id definitely rather have a man who knows the value of a dollar and doesnt squander it all on long-haired bimbos. (I kid! Its not your fault, my long-tressed sisters, that your hair makes men want to have babies with you.)
My husband met me when I had short hair and claims to like it. Ill just have to take him at his word. Im pretty sure Linda Evangelista, another nineties hair idol of mine who frequently chopped her hair, never had any problem getting a man into her bed. Miley Cyrus was recently No. 1 on the Maxim hot list, an honor rarely bestowed on ladies without classic bombshell hair, which Miley pointed out.
Dumb People Will Probably Assume You Are a Lesbian Because, Ellen. Someone recently told me that I look like Ellen, actually. (If only I could get my tousle as perfect as hers.) My college-age nephews used to call me Uncle Cheryl as a joke when I first cut my hair. Ah, Midwestern 19-year-old humor!
Or That You Are Going Through a Life Phase of Some Sort By the fall, Im quite certain colleges will be offering psychology courses about Beyoncés cut, which you can only take after you pass Michelle Obamas Bangs 101 and Lady Gaga's Beauty Bi-polarism 201. Stylist and author Lauren Rothman told the the Washington Post, Its the end of the Mrs. Carter Tour and shes really getting into motherhood and the throes of her 30s, or it could be the expression of a significant life change we may not know about. I actually sort of buy this explanation. Women make changes to their appearance when change occurs in their lives or when they think they need something different. (Or, you know, when they get their weave stuck in a fan.) Hence the dreaded breakup bangs phenomenon. And remember how Emma Watson cut her hair after Harry Potter was over to make a statement of emancipation? Michelle Williams, my own personal short hair hero, is growing hers out, and it might be because shes finally ready to move on from Heath Ledger, who supposedly loved her with short hair.
Finally, People Think Youre Really Brave to Go That Short Buzzfeed published a list of things you should never say to a woman with short hair, and they all involve some sort of backhanded compliment. Ive heard every single one of them, and I noticed this happening with peoples reactions to Beyoncés cut, too. They wrote things like Beyoncé could walk around with bird droppings on her head and shed look hot! The implicit message being that the cut is the equivalent of guano?
I like having short hair. The fact that celebs are embracing the cut is a bit of a double-edged sword, though. For a while I heard, "Oh, you have the Miley!" (Is that a compliment? Unclear.) But maybe it will make it less scary for other, non-celebrity women to try. The cut is a real confidence builder, because you don't have any hair to hide behind. It's just your cheekbones against the world.
Do I sometimes wish I could just wake up one morning with long hair and avoid the painful growing-out process? Yes. Mostly because I want to try one of those Game of Thrones Khaleesi braid tutorials.
Of the 4 photos only Dorothy Hamil and Liz look feminine.
And Liz’s isn’t a particularly flattering hair due, but her low cut dress and revealed assets earn the hair a pass.
What a great thing to do. I bet her hair looks beautiful shortish.
It means you can spend 3 minutes a day on your hair, look tidy, and feel comfortable.
One hears men think long hair on women is “sexy.” Well, I think well-cut suits in a deluxe fabric on men are pretty appealing, too ... but do they care? No, they go everywhere in jeans or shorts and t-shirts (unless they decide to leave off the t-shirts, *shudder*) because “It’s comfortable.”
If my husband will wear a suit unless he’s doing yardwork or in the gym, I’ll grow my “radical feminist college professor” spiky ‘do into a yard of Emmylou Harris hippie silver.
Short hair, long hair, no hair. Audrey Hepburn’s just absolutely gorgeous. Always thought so.
Ah...Judy Carne. Now there was a sexy gal.
Hey and once upon even Wynona Ryder was cute with shorter hair :p
Granted that Sinead O'Connor looked much BETTER with LONGER HAIR
I have known a few short-haired girls in my time and... wait those are bad examples. :p
bump
Miley makes those lists because she is “famous” not because she is “hot”
Immaterial. I do not disdain women with long hair. I simply stated that I prefer short hair. It is a feature, not a be-all-end-all.
If Shania Twain decided (when I was available) that I was the one, the length of her hair would not matter. But the same goes for Halle Berry, Alyssa Milano and thousands of others.
My wife has long, luxuriant red hair and I love it.
A younger Janine Turner did look good on “Northern Exposure” that is true
Lol. Did you tell him that? C’est la vie. Hmmm, if he’d wear his suit even doing yardwork and at the gym, would you go Chrystal Gayle.
You guys are all wrong about short hair one women. I expected comments that it makes a woman look ‘mannish’ or ‘butch’, but that’s just not the case unless they look this way regardless of their hair length. An attractive woman will look good regardless of the length of her hair.
I actually find short hair sexy on a woman. Of course, she has to be attractive to begin with. But, what it says to me is that she confident, and wants to set herself apart from all the other blonde Barbie dolls that really start to all look the same. To me this is the real turn on.
Back in June, just before going on vacation, my daughter cut her 14 year olds very straight hair from long to an inch or 2 above her shoulders. This is not a pixie cut, tho.
G-daughter is slim and looks very cute - and hated her tangling long hair.
She wears in her hair assorted head bands and flowers.
Just last week she was cast as ‘Scout,’ in ‘To Kill A Mockingbird,’ in a local community theater. Believe her talent would have won over the director if she had had long hair. But also think the visual was inadvertantly helpful . . .
This feminine g-daughter also has a Bearded Dragon in her bedroom - !
My wife was the spitting image of her when we got together in the late 1970’s....and now that we’re in our mid-sixties, she’s still drop dead gorgeous.
When I was thirty and had just had a baby, I got my hair cut short.
I looked in the mirror and my brother looked back. Evidently no delicate features here.
Drop the negotiations and take the first move.
Grow it out for him anyway and tell him how much it turns you on to see him dressed up nice.
Love shouldn’t require “negotiations”. That’s a mood killer.
Drop the negotiations and take the first move.
Grow it out for him anyway and tell him how much it turns you on to see him dressed up nice.
Love shouldn’t require “negotiations”. That’s a mood killer.
All the more reason to have long hair.
No, it's never come up. Usually he just says, "Good haircut," and I keep my feelings about unpleasantly-casual dress muted.
I could see an incremental arrangement ... I'll grow my hair 3" longer if he'll wear a suit to church every Sunday. Another 3" if he'll wear a suit any time we're out together and I have a dress on. Yes, even to Target. Etc.
Of course, then he would look great, and I would look unattractively scruffy, like a poodle who really needs to go to the groomer.
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