Posted on 07/22/2013 11:13:30 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
I need help from fellow FReepers. My mother is living in assisted living 2500 miles from me. She will turn 100 in August, and I need ideas on how to help her celebrate.
She is mentally sharp, but she is declining physically. She is confined to a wheel chair, or a walker, now and her hearing is quite impaired. Consequently, she does not like more than one, or two people in the room with her at the same time; and she just gets furious if people talk to each other in her presence.I think the sounds get all jumbled and she can't make sense of them.
I have tickets to travel to be with her for her birthday. What kind of party and what kind of recognitions should I plan? I don't think that any of her 4 grandchildren, or 12 great grandchildren, can travel to be with her for the occasion. They live even farther away than I do and have been beset with all of the problems young adults have -- college, unemployment, etc. They are all working again, but I'm sure that they have no vacation hours due. I'm asking them to send nice pictures and cards.
She does have nieces and nephews who live in her vicinity who probably could make it to a party, although I know she wouldn't want anything large. She also has a few friends.
Does anybody here in FReeperland have any experience in planning a party for an elderly person? If I ask her, she'll say that she doesn't want anything, yet I know that she'll be insulted if I don't plan something.
Thanks in advance for any ideas you can share.
A meal that has a menu of food typically served in 1913 would be interesting to do, educational (especially for younger family members), and might trigger some taste-memories of the birthday girl. Recipes of those foods are available online, especially since the 1912 Titanic “last meal” was revived last year during its centennial.
Those digital photo albums are very inexpensive and you load them with a standard SD Memory card.
Everyone does those slideshows after the love one passes.
Do one now so she can enjoy it too.
Send out invitations like you would for a party, but instead invite friends and family to send her pictures of them with her. She will be showered with cards and pictures at her facility (and as a woman I know how special it feels to get things like this at work) as well as recieve written updates in the cards. Se won’t have to talk to anybody. If she’s into getting her hair and nails done, send her for that or have somebody come in and do them for her. Finally, just a nice dinner out with the two of you would really cap things off.
We did that for my grandmother when she turned 80, with a scrapbook that included copies of old photos, the immigration paperwork for my grandmother's arrival from Ireland early in the 20th Century, her marriage certificate, her children's baby pictures, old letters, and so on.
My grandmother enjoyed that scrapbook as long as her eyesight held out, and after that, we gave her a small metal bowl that held pebbles from the beach near Dublin that she went to as a young girl. In the nursing home, confined to a wheelchair, she used to put those stones in a pocket in her sweater and handle them, joking that it was the closest she could get to the beach.
Whatever you do, no male strippers.. unless you have medical support closeby. ;-}
100 ,, wow..
Bless her..
Move closer to her. My Dad spent 8 years in a “home” in PA while I visited from CA with my job but th guilt remains. He was NOT able to move to a “home” near me.
The mother of a former friend of mine was in a nursing care facility. She wanted so much to have a PBR, but they wouldn’t allow it. That was so stupid.
Is there something your mom would love but the facility won’t allow her to have? Sneak it in!
Let HER talk. Ask questions. People love to answer questions.
No!!! He LOVES his mom!!!!
That’s a good idea.
Check with the assisted living facility about using their activity room for a party. For my Mom’s 100th, we used the activity.room and brought in platters of food and a large cake from Costco. We invited the entire facility and about 35 per cent attended - mainly those who knew and associated with Mom. Leftover food was given to the staff and/or stored in the refrigerator for later shifts. Everyone had a great time and Mom enjoyed the pictures thereafter.
I know if I were turning 100, I'd be ticked if my famly did this. But that's just me.
My folks married over years my 60 mom went coo-coo and my dad put her in an assited living place in the 4 years or so she was there before she passed He never missed a day going to see her
I think we’ll have to do that, no matter what.
I found one:
(jk--I think it's great that you have a loved one that has made it to 100. )
I second the pedicurist suggestion. My father loves having his toenails done, although I’m sure he would have flattened anyone who suggested it when he still had his mental faculties!
Excellent site. Unfortunately, you have to commit to an order before you can find out how long it takes to get the edition, or whether you can get one from her region, or town. I probably will order something like this, but I may shop around a little bit o be sure they aren’t going t snd me te Benghazi Tribune, or something. LOL
My dad celebrated his 90th B’day in a nursing home after he had a massive stroke confining him to a wheel chair. His hearing was compromised by hearing aids.
We got attendees lined up and the nursing home got a room where we gathered everyone before hand and had it decorated by my sister and brother. When he was brought in to the party room, everyone was already sat down and not milling around so we could wheel him to a table at the end of the room as the guest of honor. Then my brother, sister and I took turns playing party MC. His part of the gathering was about 45 minutes. We had a slide projector and showed family picutres, cut the cake and gave him some cards and he had a nice party and went back to his room with nurses assistance to get him back in bed.
Those gathered for the party continued to visit and a few grandkids went to his room for a picture or two.
We had done a similar but smaller gathering for the great-aunt at 100 but she was mostly blind and we kept it even more brief.
Gather all the pictures that you can of her and her offspring in an album.
That was so important to my mother. Memories.
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