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36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
DeadSpin ^ | 7/3/2013 | Will Gordon

Posted on 07/03/2013 10:48:03 AM PDT by mojito

I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold adult beverage you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's sh**brews are all the same. The list below breaks down 36 of them, from worst to least-worst.

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

(Excerpt) Read more at deadspin.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; happy4th; staythirsty
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To: mojito

Bump! I mean Burp!


81 posted on 07/03/2013 11:44:27 AM PDT by jonrick46 (The opium of Communists: other people's money.)
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To: a fool in paradise

82 posted on 07/03/2013 11:44:54 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: OKSooner

Olympia was another of the great beers before Coors was forced to preserve their beer so it could be shipped on trains and trucks beyond the then locations at the limit of freshness.


83 posted on 07/03/2013 11:46:24 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: razorback-bert

Dixie Beer, UGH! Bought it once and threw it away. Worst beer I ever tasted.


84 posted on 07/03/2013 11:48:22 AM PDT by faucetman ( Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts)
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To: woodbutcher1963
Labatt Blue (Canadian) was always popular when we went to hockey games, which was pretty frequent in the snowbelt areas of upstate NY, where quite a few of my buddies came from Canada. One of them introduced me to Molson Brador, which is a powerful little malt liquor, at about 6% alcohol, and seemed to work wonders with the young ladies later on at the tavern. ;-)

To answer your question, though, I went to college at Colgate, which isn't too far from Morrisville, as I'm sure you know.

85 posted on 07/03/2013 11:48:37 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
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To: bkepley
Miller's OK, but PBR is one of those hard to get down brews. Worse than Bud, even.

Back in the day, my friends would buy Lite because it went down fast. I was buying Schlitz. That was before their infamous parallel formula and marketing disasters.

86 posted on 07/03/2013 11:48:39 AM PDT by Calvin Locke
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To: Vinnie
FWIW, Rolling Rock used to be brewed locally, right here in the Laurel Highlands of Pennsylvania from quality mountain stream fed water.

An outfit from New Jersey bought it, moved the brewery to their home base and now makes it from the same recycled urine which New Jerseyians commonly drink.

87 posted on 07/03/2013 11:48:55 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: mojito

What? No Ballantine?


88 posted on 07/03/2013 11:50:13 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: andy58-in-nh
Relax, I didn't actually drink it. If I did drink an ancient beer, it'd more likely be this one:

I do have some year old aged St. Arnold's Divine Reserve #12 (a little under a year at this point, I liked the flavor better when it was 6 months old, but that maybe because too much sediment got in my glass in my recent sample).

This beer was inspired by David Rogers’ winning entry in the 2011 Big Batch Brew Bash homebrew competition. The color is orangy amber with a light, creamy head. The nose has rich malt notes and a little alcohol that combines with a spicy hop note to create a complex bouquet. The taste has a spicy, malty beginning that smoothes out into a creamy middle and a warming finish. While this beer is enjoyable now, it is designed to be aged and will shine after a year or more in the bottle. This will allow sherry flavors to develop as the alcohol oxidizes. It is also important to allow this beer to warm up so that all of the flavors emerge and round out the high alcohol level.

We did not filter this beer. When pouring we recommend decanting it, carefully pouring the first 10 or 11 ounces without allowing the sediment to enter the glass. If you want, you can pour the bottom of the bottle into a separate glass, but you will discover that the decanted beer is a little brighter in flavor.


Vital Statistics:Reserve No. 12: Old Ale
Cases Made: 3,201 (cases of 12 oz. bottles)
682 (cases of 22 oz. bottles)
Kegs Made: 88 ½ bbls, 90 1/6 bbl, 20 casks
Date Brewed: May 16, 2012
Date Bottled: July 20, 2012
Original Gravity: 1.090
Final Gravity: 1.018
Alcohol: 10% ABV
IBU: 50

The production run sold out in about a day.

89 posted on 07/03/2013 11:52:09 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: MHGinTN
Yeah. Coors is what I learned on back in the 70's, back when it was still good beer - even to my unrefined taste buds...

Sorry... I'm getting a little choked up...

90 posted on 07/03/2013 11:52:14 AM PDT by OKSooner
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To: ArrogantBustard

Especially the Black & Tan.


91 posted on 07/03/2013 11:53:09 AM PDT by ReleaseTheHounds ("The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." M. Thatcher)
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To: Joe Boucher

I believe it was called “Brew 102” as supposedly it was perfected on the 102nd brewing.


92 posted on 07/03/2013 11:54:07 AM PDT by Fungi
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To: mojito
"One man"s opinion?"

More like some eastern liberal faggot's opinion:

If you base your beer choices on the CEO's politics—and I suppose you might as well—then you probably have an opinion on Head Pete in Charge's staunch conservatism, as well as the company's scummy labor history.

Obviously a liberal.

93 posted on 07/03/2013 11:54:12 AM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: ArrogantBustard

Last summer, I went out for a 6 pack, picked up Flying dog’s Raging Bitch, telling the clerk my wife sent me out for beer, and did he think that was OK. Lost on him.

As I told that story to the extended family at the cookout, I pulled out an Arrogant Bastard from the fridge, and told the gathering that this is what she picked out for me.


94 posted on 07/03/2013 11:54:29 AM PDT by dmz
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To: Buckeye McFrog

“#1 pick is Grain Belt”

I have drank it. You could get an 8-pack for the same price of a 6-pack of Strohs. Horrible stuff, the choice of alcoholics in the mid west.


95 posted on 07/03/2013 11:58:34 AM PDT by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: dmz

Nice.

I’d just like to point out, FWIW, that I am not named for the beer. I had never heard of it until a San Diego based FReeper enlightened me.


96 posted on 07/03/2013 11:59:16 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: a fool in paradise

The specs on St. Arnold’s sound like those of a Belgian Ale or barley wine, both of which can be successfully aged in the bottle (and as suggested should be drunk at a cool room temperature). I do remember seeing cans of Gilley’s some years back in Texas - seem to recall it was brewed by Pearl.


97 posted on 07/03/2013 11:59:17 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
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To: Fungi

been a long time Fungi, thanks


98 posted on 07/03/2013 11:59:29 AM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO) ( Hey Rubio, eat pooh pal))
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To: Joe Boucher

That was Brew 102. Got lost on the L.A. freeways many moons ago and I ended up driving past that Brew102 building 4 times. Ah those were the days. LOL


99 posted on 07/03/2013 11:59:57 AM PDT by lardog ( Obama should be locked up.)
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To: Bullish

He has Miller light at #6? Seriously?

This guy doesn’t know what the heck he’s talking about. Miller light tastes like dung.

<><><><

I think that means 6th worst.


100 posted on 07/03/2013 12:00:51 PM PDT by dmz
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